Jazee's Diary

Honey_Bear

From your posts it seeems that your DH's job involves very long hours and a great deal of responsibility. Your post elsethread indicated that he hadn't, in the end, decided to go down that road. How are things today?

Jazee

He's worn out HB. Just popped home between shifts on what should be a day off. Says they'll have won if he resigns. They're winning at the moment while he works silly hours but he can't see that. I've made him an appointment with the doctor for next week at his request as there are a lot of ongoing health issues for him, not least his alcohol addiction.

Honey_Bear

Sounds like he needs to be signed off if he's that worn out. (((Hugs))) for you both.

Jazee

So DH did not hand in his notice but he did go to the doctor. Probably didn't list his numerous ailments and alcohol problems as he got a clean bill of health. Anyway, onwards and upwards, and DH actually had a proper day off yesterday, well almost, he popped in to work for half an hour.


I've been trying not to spend too much and I'm doing quite well, but just had a letter that my driving license is due to expire so thats £20+ I hadn't banked on spending.

Jazee

A lot has happened in the last month. DH finally got found out on his drinking (he's always managed to hide the extent of his drinking) so actually approached the gp after another failed attempt to give up. The doc referred him to experts and while waiting to see them stopped drinking again and was actually functioning well. Doing stuff around the house, wanting to go out etc.

He saw the expert this week who told him the plan isn't to stop drinking altogether but to get down to normal levels. Two problems here, DH is all or nothing when it comes to alcohol, and this solution means him drinking again.

So he has, and has to keep a drinking diary, do some stupid 10 week plan and what are normal levels anyway?

And I am at this moment sitting next to a drunk husband who is in pain, can't get his words straight and is really getting on my nerves.

Rant over. Finances are going ok.

ionafan

Jazee wrote: »

He saw the expert this week who told him the plan isn't to stop drinking altogether but to get down to normal levels. Two problems here, DH is all or nothing when it comes to alcohol, and this solution means him drinking again.

Sound like the "expert" isn't much of an expert!

(((Hugs))), Jazee. So sorry you're having to deal with this situation again xx

Jazee

Thanks Ionafan.

I'm now sitting here keeping an eye on DH who has already been drinking this morning, went out on his bicycle and had an accident. Thank goodness for our lovely villagers. He's hurt his head and face and shoulder and has a mark across his back and minor scratches down his legs.

I've cleaned him up but he's refusing an ice pack. The worst injuries are on the side of his good eye and he says his vision is blurred. Keeps saying the drink is going to kill him.

I feel like killing the expert.

Today's rant over.

Squirrelled another £5 to savings.

kazwookie

Jazee hugs to you, you know we are here to unload to if you want to. xx

Jazee

Thanks Kaz.

Honey_Bear

So sorry that what should have been a straightforward solution is turning into a complicated mess, Jazee. As a former drinker I can sympathise with you - how OH put up with my drunken rants is a mystery to me and it put a huge strain on our relationship. There's an excellent organisation called Al-Anon if you haven't come across it for families and friends of alcoholics.

One thing I will say is that everyone with a problem who cuts it out completely tries all the other solutions first, including trying to moderate, trying another drink instead etc etc. And injuring oneself is par for the course at a certain point; in fact, it's a marker for where a drinker's progression.

I'm hoping the 'expert' is putting your OH through all of the possible solutions until the hardest, most frightening one is the only one left. It's do-able as lots of us can testify, but it takes a heck of a lot of determination in the early days and the person concerned has to totally accept that. I was determined not to use Alcoholic Anonymous for various reasons, but some people swear by it - whatever path to abstinence your OH chooses is the right one for him but at least he's getting some help. Admitting that there is a problem really is the first step and he's already doing that. (It's a much bigger step than it seems at the moment though, because he's still drinking.)

(((hugs)))