Money Fritters 'Enough Now' DFW Diary - Chapter 2

Money_Fritter

[FONT=&quot]It has been three years and ten months since my ‘light bulb’ moment and the start of this diary. Back at the beginning I was very proactive and had lots of good intentions. My debt busting got off to a fast start and the debt reduced quickly. I joined the grocery challenge, the NSD challenge and the PAD challenge. I also started doing some matched betting, with a good degree of success. However, as time went by I ran out of steam, I did not pace myself. I thought this debt busting was a sprint not a marathon. I took my eye of the ball and started to tread water. I needed a break, so I went backpacking across Europe. I couldn’t really afford it, but I needed to do something and I was single so my priorities changed. When I came back off holiday I looked at life in a different way. Life is too short and I wanted to enjoy myself. I still tried to be frugal and pay off the debts, but in the main I only kept to minimum payments and before I knew it, the debt started to increase not decrease, I lost my self-discipline.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]However, as I type this update my priorities have changed. I have a partner now and a few months ago she moved in with me. Obviously thoughts of planning for the future start to creep up. I would like to have a family and there is also lots of jobs that need doing on the house, none of which I can afford with my current debt. Whilst I was single, I should have been redoubling my efforts on debt busting, I realise that now and hindsight is a wonderful thing.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]So I think it is safe to say that I have had my second ‘light bulb’ moment. The key now is to pace myself and keep my self-discipline and reduce the debt little by little. I need to be positive. This is why I have decided to start this second chapter of my diary.
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[FONT=&quot]My total debt now stands at £25938.84
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[FONT=&quot]Next I need to sit down and set some realistic goals and come up with a plan.[/FONT]

ani_26

Congrats mf, and the best of luck on your journey xx


(ps - did you ever do the coast to coast?)

MrsPorridge

Hey MF - lovely shiny new diary.

the very best of luck to you. Congrats on your new relationship.

Everything you say rings a bell with me! I have also made a commitment today that I must crack on with it and keep focussed.

I have subscribed to your new diary and look forward to reading of your progress.

TeamNicholson

Hi MF, don't beat yourself up about it. I thought I had had my 'light bulb' moment a couple of times before and then fell back into old habits of minimum payments and living beyond my means again. I am happy to say I have truly had my 'light bulb' moment now and have just started my debt free journey for the last time. Wishing you all the best with your efforts, looking forward to hearing how you get on

Money_Fritter

Hi folks,

Thanks for the comments.

Upon starting this new chapter of my diary, it would be very easy for me to slip back into my old routine. I will start well, feverishly completing NSD’s and challenges, but I know I will fall back into my olds ways; I will become dishearten at not being able to have treats and I will become impatient as I always do. This time, it is all about finding the right balance; the balance in life is very important.

As I mentioned in my previous post; the last couple of days I have had a long hard think about my priorities and life in general. However, most importantly, I have looked within and examined the ‘inner’ me. Recently, I have been reading a few books on psychology and the mental aspects of certain scenarios in our life. So what do I mean when I say I have examined the ‘inner’ me?

When I say ‘inner’ me, I am referring to my beliefs, my habits, my goals, my emotions and my ideas. I am reasoning that if I can understand myself better, then hopefully that will help me with my debt busting.

I have never sat down before and done something like this, and maybe that is the problem. I have always just lived in the moment, I have never really asked myself the serious questions, actually that is not quite true, I have asked some questions in the past, but have never really looked deep enough for a non-superficial answer. I guess what I am trying to say is, do I really know myself?

Anyway I digress; how can this all help my debt busting?

Well, if I understand myself better, then I can change my mindset and change my habits and beliefs as well as many other things. Hopefully I can become a better person as well as eliminate my debt.

So, it is time to give some serious answers to some serious questions. I know I won’t like some of the answers, but I need to be honest; in this case being honest with myself, is like learning to drive a car. Once you have past your test, you can go anywhere you want, you are independent, you have options; you can start any journey you like. I guess, I am hoping that examining the ‘inner’ me will let me see things in a different light.

To be continued…

MrsPorridge

MF - you are so right it is all about what is called in neuro linguistic programming (NLP) language "well formed outcomes". In other words setting yourself realistic and achievable goals. If you haven't come across NLP then please do google it - it is very similar to Covey and the 7 Habits and the two work well together (well I think so anyway).

So_Sad_Angel

Hi MF:j:j

Good luck with chapter 2 and its lovely to hear that you have now moved in together and are planning the future:j

As MrsP says NLP is good for changing the way you think about things and understanding how and why we react the way we do...its a fascinating subject.

I think its important to put the debt in persepcetive and have a set amount to chip away every week/month...absolutely paramount is that what you pay is realistic and affordable .Sadly it is when we start to get impatient that we can lose our way and get overwhelmed again.

Go for it !!:j:beer:

Money_Fritter

Thanks for the comments MrsP and So Sad Angel. I have had a brief look at NLP, it sounds interesting. When I get chance I will have a more detailed read.

Money Fritter

Money_Fritter

Right ok, the questions……
As I said in my previous post I have never done this before, especially in public!!! Lol
But needs must

1. What do you want in life?
If I am being honest with this one, and I need to be, I have always wanted to be liked. I have always wanted recognition, for what, I don’t know. I think this is part of my problem, because I always do things to try and make other people happy, so they will like me. Stupid, I know!!
I guess really, I don’t know what I want in life. Apart from my going to university and also going back packing across Europe, which was the best thing I have ever done, I don’t think I have really had a purpose. I think everybody has a purpose in life, I just don’t know what mine is yet!!! I guess I have just gone with the flow of life, not really setting any goals in life. I suppose this leads back to the Stephen Covey book I have been reading ‘The Seven habits of effective people’ and the reason I have so many bad habits and beliefs stems from not really having a purpose or goal structure in my life and being very negative.

2. What is your biggest weakness?
I have put this question on the list because the answer is pertinent to my life in general and more importantly, debt busting. My biggest weakness is self-discipline.
There has only been one stand out point in my life were I can say I had fantastic self-discipline and that was about 5 years ago when I went to buy a new pair of trousers for work. To my dismay I had put on quite a bit of weight and had to buy a size 40 waist. Up until that point I had never been a size 40 waist. All of a sudden I found a steely determination and self-discipline and over the next two months I lost about two stone in weight.
I would say even university was like my debt-busting, one year or six months I would work very hard and I was getting top marks in my exams, other times, I just did enough to get by, as a result I only achieved average marks over the whole degree. I passed, but I know I could have done better.
It is definitely fair to say that self-discipline is my Kryptonite!!!

3. What do you fear most in life?
I think the older I have gotten, I have begun to fear achievement, or lack of it. As I have started to think more about the things I have done, or have not done, I worry that I have not done anything with my life, I don’t want to look back and say I didn’t do anything, I did not make a difference. I want to be happy and successful, but so does everybody. But I also want to look back in 20-30 year’s time and say I did something worthwhile and made a difference.

4. What regrets do you have in your life?
Well apart from being stupid enough to get into this debt; my main regret was the fact that over the last 5-6 years, I have started to become very bitter and negative with the way my life has turned out. I know I only have myself to blame, but sometimes you do look to blame other people. I think this way of thinking for me started in my previous job. I, along with a few others, always seemed to stay late and do extra work and did not receive any pay rise or thanks. Overtime we all fed off our own negative thoughts. However, we did do something about it and most of us left the company over a few month period. My new job was good to start with, but the negativity crept back, as I shared an office with people who had been at the company for many years and were negative every day, after a while it became a never ending cycle were you get stuck in a rut of negative thoughts.
I realise now that this is most probably where all my problems started, the negative aspects of my work spread throughout the rest of my life.

There are plenty more questions, but I think they are the main ones. Sorry for waffling, just trying to write things down and understand where I am and where I can go to.


Next I need to evaluate what I have written and try to change this negative attitude in all aspects of my life. I need to set some goals and plans, so I can bust this debt once and for all; and ultimately to the bigger picture in life, develop a purpose so I can make a difference.

Money_Fritter

Hi Folks,

It was a nice morning this morning so managed to get up early and get my food shopping complete. I also managed to get into the back garden and mow the lawn and do a bit of digging just before the rain started.

I am hoping to set some long term goals over the weekend for various aspects of my life. I have digested my answers to my questions in the previous post. So I will post some long term and short term goals later on this weekend.

Money Fritter

So_Sad_Angel

Hi MF

Good luck with your short, medium and long term goals. The main thing above all is to make them achievable which will help you to maintain momentum and also then exceeding those goals will be an amazing feeling.

Good luck :j:j