RANT ALERT, please tell me I'm not mean!

swampduck

Poor you! All this stress and hassle because of your sister. For what it's worth I would have as little as possible to do with your sister - she seems to be cause of a lot your worries.
I also think you need to get the hairdresser on side - and say you want x-y-z style (and so does your sister) and leave the hairdresser to sort her out. But make it clear she is not to have the same style as you. It may well be that you may end up with a variation of a style that suits you far better than what you are planning on - that is why you have trials. My hairdresser does not charge the bride for trials - he does charge bridesmaids but the bride can have as many free trials as necessary with different hair accessories if required to experiment with the final look. I realise not all hairdressers do this but it's your day and you want to look fab!!
Also forget the tiara - go and choose what you want. It's one less thing to stress about with your sister. If she complains - just say you don't have time to waste while she gets her act together. The less you have to do with her - the better - and you will be far more relaxed.

Swampy

wanchai_2

BMs don't usually have tiaras anyway!

Mupette

Screamer i get the impression that your sister thinks she's the princess and this is her day..

is she jealous that you are getting married first.
Be really firm, i can see she will try to upstage you on your day, the only pretty girl allowed is you.

Although i admit my bridesmaids bought all their own stuff, they know i am poor and their stuff belongs to them, to do what they want after, which is just as well they do both look absolutely stunning in theirs, they are both thinner than me, but i don't care, they are my best friends in the world and have both spent way too much money and effort on my wedding, but this is how they are, i have tried saying don't spend too much as i worry that they will both be left shint. But they are both happy about everything and always run through things by me before they plan everything,

If it wasn't for them i don't know what i would do, they are the best friends any girl would want.

screamer

Sigh, just when I thought I could go to bed I have more messages from my sister and none of them nice. She's lied to my dad, has sent me reams of abuse and has now threatened me if I call my dad again. I responded with a very short message saying that no matter what she does, she can't monopolise our parents and that if I need help I will ask for it and her threats mean nothing to me. I can honestly say I've talked to my folks more in the past 6 months than I have in the past 6 years, they even visited us a few weeks ago for the first time since I moved away 3 and a half years ago and I'm not throwing away this relationship for her. I told my dad that I don't want to give up on my relationship with my sister either but I don't think I want her to come to the wedding if she continues to behave like this. I cried saying it, it really did hurt that those words came out of my mouth but I feel I have to do it for my own sanity.

Gratefully I have an emergency supply of tranquilisers (prescribed to me, I'm not a junkie) so I've necked one of them and I'm hoping to be too numb to care tomorrow. I'm getting too numb to care now. I hate these drugs but they're prescribed for times like this. Stress really can kill me you see so I'm prescribed stuff to chill me out before I go over the edge. can't remember the last time I had any though. Hmm, night night people, sweet dreams x x x and thank you, MSE'roes!

wanchai_2

Sending massive hugs to you, just take deep breaths and have a good sleep, we are here for you. Night night xx

paye

Women!!!!!

Mupette

show these messages to your parents, so they know it's definitely not you being the b1tch here.

Hugs, so glad i am an only child.

stir_crazy

Screamer, sorry to hear that she's being a cow again

fawny

Hope you are feeling better soon Screamer & everything goes well. It's when I read things like this i'm so glad i'm on only child.

mildred1978

D'ya know what? Your wedding is one day out of your life. In 2 years this won't be important to you at all. Is it really worth the stress?

I didn't have my sister as a bridesmaid, never mind maid of honour. My bridesmaid wore her shoes to a party a month before the wedding. So what? She was there for me on the day and did everything I needed her to do. I don't think we ever even discussed hair. She had exactly what she was comfortable with, as did I.

Surround yourself with people that love you without stressing you out.

And next time, elope .