Southernman's steps to freedom!

Southernman

Hi it's good to meet you! I think i'm one of the younger minorities that want to reap the benefits of overpayments rather than the live now, suffer the consequences later thought structure all my friends seem to have.

Don't even get me started on their attitudes to pensions!

I have an iphone 3gs that got given me and you would not believe the number of times i get asked if i'm getting an upgrade when my contract ends!

I'm not even on contract! I'm on Giffgaff!

In my parents eyes though my phone is possibly the super coolest and trendiest phone they have ever seen!

'no way has your phone got ''goggle''? That's clever isn't it! That Apple man must be very intelligent to come up with these ideas'

Southernman

I've had a bit of a horrendous weekend. Turns out my boyfriend lost £4000 this month on gambling and couldn't afford to pay his household bills.

To say i was upset was a major understatement, i still don't know what i think about it. I've had to lend him £1000 so that he wouldn't go into an unarranged overdraft. I'm absolutely devastated and feel so let down. As i'm writing this i'm crying. I know that he'll pay me back every penny but i feel so down about it. He has no savings which puts him in a majorly vulnerable position.

The worst thing is he couldn't confide in me. He said he was trying to protect me which makes me feel even worse. I know we don't live together but he really is the love of my life and i don't know what i'd do without him.

Seeing him crying in front of me was heartbreaking. He's a typical 'tough' male so seeing him cry was horrible, the only other time i remember it happening was when his dad died.

He's going to pay me back monthly. Yes i have written a contract and made him sign. I've read through that 'lending to friends and family' in loans. Hopefully it won't be an issue.

I feel so lost and alone

I don't even know where to start.

sweetdaisy

Hope that you can both sort things out Southernman, sending you hugs :grouphug: xx

shala_moo

Just catching up on some diaries and didn't want to read and run..

Dodgy hugs to you :grouphug:...Sorry to hear about your issue, but you have the right to feel how you do. Your trust has been broken and that will take a while to rebuild.. do you have someone you can talk to about this, just to get your frustrations out there?

Has your boyfriend got a gambling problem or is this just a one off?

It's hard when a couple have different attitudes to money saving. There are a lot of people on these boards that put a lot of effort into making their futures more secure, whilst their other halfs like to just spend spend spend.. i hope that some day he comes round to your way of thinking.

QB_Wolf

All the best SM - hope your OH can sort himself out

ultrarunner

Sorry to hear that Southernman, a difficult time and I hope you can find a path through it.

Sepa74

How awful. I hope you both work through this and your bf realises gambling is for fools.

Lois_E

Just caught up on your news, Southernman. What an awful shock for you. Well done for doing the sensible thing with the contract - it must have been tough for you, but it should help him to realise that this is a big deal, and so it might help him towards sorting himself out, which means it's the loving thing for you to have done.

You've been quiet since it happened. How are you?

uzubairu

Sorry to hear that you are going through some hard times.
I will be hard, but unless he admits he has a gambling problem he probably won't change.

It's important that he pays you back but even more important that he gets some help.

Good luck and hang in there.
You have good intentions so don't let go of your dream.

LauraJo

OMG he is v lucky to have you to bail him out! Don't let his debt distract you from your plan - it reads like you are really getting into this OP'ing thing. Good luck - be great to follow your progress