Stag and hen do's

duchy

Why don't you just ask HER which one she'd like to attend ?

(Personally I didn't invite my Mum to either of mine -and she'd have said no if I had as it wouldn't have been her thing)

She might surprise you and not want to go

74jax

Are you stressing because you don't want her at yours? If so isn't the solution you don't invite her?

If you both would love her at the stag and hen, I'd maybe ask her which she would like to go to and let her decide.

snowybutterfly

My problem is i don't have room for her now.
* we are meeting up for a quick bbq (hour max)
* then females are going pole dancing (can only have a small group) and the males are doing laser quest.
* then meeting up for a quick bit to eat and then the younger people are going to a night club.

His mother lives an hour away and the only one coming a distance, all the spaces are taken for the pole dancing and she is not the night club kind of person. This means she could only really do the bbq section, OH thinks i should tell one of my friends they cant go pole dancing and his mother should take her place even though my friends have already paid.

74jax

If you do want her at yours I would invite her along, explain unfortunately all the places for pole dancing has been filed (everyone will know that there's a limit) but would she still like to come, she could be in charge of the camera and capture everyone having a laugh.

She'd be able to come for the BBQ anyway, so inviting her along for the pole dancing would be a nice gesture (if you WANT her there that is).

If she doesn't want to go out afterwards then that's fine. I'm not a great one for night clubs so I'd probably do BBQ and pole dancing then a drink or two just like her.

I think the BBQ could maybe last longer than an hour - sometimes it take that long to get it going ;-)

Dave_liverpool

Is the bbq a joint (stag and hen) event?

I'd be happy to invite all and sudry to that and then go seperate ways, sounds like your trying to pack too much in imo, but my opinion only!

snowybutterfly

The BBQ is just for my group, my OH decided to invite his family and friends (male and female) to his stag do so i am now doing the same for mine. The problem is that OH now says HIS mother has to come to my Hen do.

(i am having my dad to mine as well, although OH is inviting HIS dad to the satg)

Dave_liverpool

Well I would extend an invite to the bbq, it should be civilised enough not to offend her and then as all the places for the pole dancing are full you should be able to carry on your 'do' happy you made an inclusive effort even if your OH didn't!

You may find she would be happy with that! and tbh your OH's do will be a tad laddie (even if females are going) that he will be very grateful.

Roz_V

I think your OH should invite her to his "stag" - surely if your parties are for your own side family & friends then she should attend his and not yours?!

He should be the one inviting her to his do, and if his mum doesn't want to attend, then she can make that decision. I think she'd be more offended at not being invited when other women are, than being given a sympathy invite to yours where you say she'd feel uncomfortable.

BugglyB

If you are both having men and women to your dos why not have a joint one and call it an engagement party? I dont really think its actually a 'stag' if the grooms mother is there, its just a party without each other. Then again im dead against 'best women' too so perhaps I just need to get with the times

74jax

BugglyB wrote: »

If you are both having men and women to your dos why not have a joint one and call it an engagement party?

That's quite a good idea, I guess you'll have lots of 'joint' friends anyway who will have to choose which 'do' to go to.