Real Life MMD: Friends won't sponsor me, should I say something?

Dinah93

Personally what someone is asking for can vary hugely what I give. I will as a point of principle never sponsor someone to do a charity holiday ie walk the great wall of China - if you really cared about the charity you'd give them the hundreds you're spending on flights, hotels etc but it's just an excuse for a good adventure.

Equally if it's a charity I already have a direct debit set up to I won't donate a huge amount, I don't donate to animal charities either as I would rather my money went to people. Last year a colleague's husband was diagnosed with a terminal illness and she started doing a lot of charity raising for them, I helped her in any way I could both with money and donations of items for their collections as it was an important cause to someone close to me.

You can't assume what matters to you matters to anyone else, and you can't tell them how to spend their money.

TBagpuss

No, of course you shouldn't say anything. You've asked, people have the opportunity of sponsoring you/donating if they wish, but you have no right to expect or demand that they do.

What you chose to do for charity is up to you, and what others chose to do is up to them.

You comment that your friends buy luxuries, but you have no way of knowing what their finacial situation is. I buy myself things I consider to be luxuries, from time to time. I do it because I am careful with my money and budget for some 'treats'. I also budget for charitable donations and if someone asks for a donation for a cause I care deeply about I will re-direct some of my 'treat' money to donate. If I don't, it's because I've made a judgment about how I wish to use my own money.

And as many others have said, just becuase the cause is close to your heart doesn't mean that your friends will necessarily feel the same way.

jamespir

err no its none of your buisness if they want to be tight or not reply their choice

ArthurDent

It may be the type of sponsorship that you are seeking. I do not like the ones which are basically holidays but proposed as arduous tasks worthy of sponsorship, eg, one I saw recently which was to cycle across cuba. Why should I pay for someone's holiday?

mungaman

Definitely not!! Wanna lose some friends? Then go right ahead!! Very cheeky of you to think like this.
It's their money; they should be able to choose whether or not they can donate to your charity!!
I don't give money to a number of charities as I have seen Panorama(?) filming these CEO's of the charities
living the life of luxury, driving their £50,000 4x4 range rovers, & showing off in their 6-bed mansions with
swimming pools & tennis courts!! We can see who really gets the money!!??!!??!!
I donate to the charities of my choice & if my friend sent me a letter like you're thinking of writing, I would cross
them off the Christmas card list for sure!!!

gabriel2u_2

I agree with an earlier post - you should thank those who have already sponsored and mention that those who wish to can still do so, but leave it at that.
My husband has run three 10K charity races in aid of the Stroke Association. Nothing unusual in that - except that he suffered a stroke five years ago so the training and determination required to become a regular runner was a major effort. Most of our close friends and family happily sponsored him in order to celebrate his fantastic achievements. Some gave £2 and some gave £20 - the amount did not matter - it was just a way showing their support for him.
However after being sponsored for the first two races he decided not to ask yet again. He felt he could not ask the same people to put their hands in their pockets for a third time. So he ran the race and we made our own donation to the charity.
Just be polite and give people another opportunity to sponsor you but don't push it.

Shiva42

Its fairly typical of the stingy small minded section of society (and is why we presently have the Tories in again) to go with the "I'll do what I want with my money" lecture. You are (nearly) all missing the main points here -
1. Just GIVE something, we're talking about charities here and they are suffering like you wouldnt believe at the moment because of politicians and bankers. And chairites and their staff and volunteers actually have the courage and passion to go out there every day and actually DO something for other less fortunate (less well off) people! You can afford it, and even if you dare to try and say you can't, just dont stuff the next takeaway down your throat.
2. The reason you think the questionner shouldnt say anything is that you, and therefore by inference her friends, are mean selfish people and you couldn't care less - shame on you!
3. The other level on which to look at this is that it is a friend asking for a favour and for support, so just give a fiver and think yourself lucky that you know someone who is not selfish and is out there doing and giving when you can't be bothered to.

jenni2000

Once upon a time you would have gone and asked someone to sponsor you face to face. Friends and family were more likely to say yes when put on the spot and they could see who had already sponsored you and how much they had donated. Sometimes emailing can be impersonal and its easy to ignore. I think that you missed the opportunity here and now the opportunity has passed. No I don't think you should chase your fiends to sponsor you. They may have their reasons why; they may well not have the money or perhaps they may not support your chosen charity or perhaps they already give to charities of their choice and don't want to support another.

tallgirld

Are you taking the mick?

It is not compulsory to sponsor. I have actually made a decision NOT to sponsor anyone this year. I done loads last year. Got sick to the back teeth receiving emails etc.

It's not up to you to choose how your friends spend their money. Just because they have good jobs does NOT mean they have disposable income. (shakes head)

geri1965_2

This happened to me once - colleague was doing the Race for Life and left a sponsor form in reception. I do not give to Caner Research UK as they test on animals, so I ignored the form. Two weeks later she came up to me and asked me if I would sponsor her, so I said no and explained why. I found it embarrassing and I'm sure she thought I was weird.

I do give to some cancer charities, e.g. McMillan, but not those that fund research that I disagree with. I prefer not to get into a row about it with people but I had to explain it to her.