Real Life MMD: Friends won't sponsor me, should I say something?

BNT

Charitable giving is not a tax; it is a volunarary donation. There is no compulsion for people to give to every charity they are asked to sponsor. You have no right to expect them to. By all means, remind people that you are collecting sponsorship, but do not say anything that makes it look as though you expect people to sponsor you. It offends those who choose not to and makes you look ungrateful to those who have chosen to support you.

Freya_in_Wonderland

willow_loulou wrote: »

To be utterly frank how very dare you assume that because some one has a good job and has some luxury items that they can either afford or want to sponsor or give to charity? I am sick and tired of people asking for sponsorship or rattling tins under my nose at a supermarket. There is an epidemic of it on Facebook, twitter,email etc etc and so many keep on if money is not offered immediately. I like many many others give to specific charity organisations regularly and I feel no compulsion to give to any more, no one has an endless amount of money, good job or not and I do not wish to have to apologise every time I choose not to donate regardless of the event.
I will sponser a few times in a year usually to my children for school activities and feel no compulsion to help some one jump out of a plane or snow board for 6 hours etc because they couldnt afford to do so unless under the guise of charity.

I apologise for my tone, I think like so many I am overwhelmed by so many requests to give money, it seems daily there is something through my door or in my email etc.

I agree with the above, I have never posted on here before but after reading this moral dilemma I felt compelled to. Just because you choose not to give your money away does not make you a bad person. I have never given money to a charity and I doubt I ever will because a lot of the time the money doesn't go where it is needed or it is not spent on things that will help. Having lived in developing countries I know that some people see the money as an income and don't try to solve their own problems. I prefer to give my time or to buy things that will help (tinned food, dog food, blankets etc) and donating these. People are often horrified that I don't have a standing order going to some charity or other and that I wouldn't even consider doing so. I don't see what the obsession is about. There are other ways to help that don't involve throwing money at the problem. And even if somebody chooses not to do anything at all, that is fine too. It's their choice.

Evilm

I'm also in the camp of those saying "no, leave them alone!"

Depending on your choice of charity and the personal situation of the person you are requesting money from you could also be making your friends feel worse by repeatedly asking them to donate, follow or spread the word about the cause. Its like all that stuff about "Share this for Cancer awareness" - right now every time I see a page or a request pushing me to donate/follow/share it hurts. My father is very ill with cancer and I don't want it shoved in my face wherever I go. Its hard enough dealing with it as it is and I will donate to whichever charities I like without other people prodding me to do so.

sailorjohn

How arrogant you are to think that you can decide if your friends should give you sponsorship money. many of these schemes
are simply a way of having some experience activity subsidised under the guise of a charitable persuit. Some are downright blackmail, eg school sponsorships. The causes may be good but the choice remains with the individual. So many charities are using moral blackmail in order to raise funds that when we receive "free gifts" from a charity seeking our financial support the gift goes straight in the bin, likewise those that specify a minimum contribution of £10/ £20 etc.

nonniek

Perhaps you should have considered the way in which you first asked, an email however informative is nothing like being asked in person. If yo had asked face to face it is harder for people to refuse as it is aleays hard to say no to someone's face rather than dash off a quick reply, it would also mean that they were abel to see how much other people were sponsoring as it is possible that some people said no purely as they felt they might not be able to give the going rate. Also an email comes across as if you are too busy to ask personally, that the cause is more about what YOU are doing rather than what the charity is doing.

Just last week we had a text from someone to ask if we would sponsor their son in a swimming event, even though we had seen them less than a week previously and no explanation as to what the reason teh money was being raised for, I found this very rude and was tempted not to sponsor him because of that. So perhaps with everyone firing off emails / texts rather than making actual human contact when asking for something such as a persons hard won cash is it any wonder that people will say no.

Primrose

I think you have to accept that this is their decision. They may well give to other charities of their choice. I get innundated with requests to sponsor people doing walks and runs for charities and actually get a little fed up with it because I regard walking or running as fairly worthless contributions in themselves which don't return anything of value to the community. Now if somebody were to ask to be sponsored to digging an elderly person's garden for a few weeks, or to visit a disabled person living alone for a chat every week for a year, I would regard that as paying something back to the community in a positive way and would be happy to sponsor it. Walking/Running are easy options and whilst they do raise a lot of money for charity, I can't necessarily identify with it. I was once asked to sponsor somebody doing a bike ride somewhere in Africa when I knew it was something they badly wanted to do as a leisure summer holiday project. I think they were a bit upset when I told them that I didn't regard that as something worthy of sponsorship.

PenguinOfDeath

Depends what you value more, a charity or your friendships. Is this even a question that requires more than 0.2 seconds of consideration?

Where do these MMDs come from by the way? Are they an actual question from someone on the board or something for the site team to make up to fill up the newsletter?

Barbara_Adair

although you know they have good jobs, do you know how much they already give to other causes? Although the charity you are raising funds for is very close to your heart, that doesn't mean it will be a high priority to others.[/QUOTE]

Quite right. I don't tell people how much or how often I give and I like to choose the charity for myself.

KathyWootton

No you shouldn't say anything unless you want to lose their friendship. It's their decision what they spend their money on and what charities they support. They may have a very good reason for declining - for instance I do not donate to charities which fund animal testing.

blinglover

I beg to differ! If you have been sponsoring all your friends, it is hurtful if they don't recriprocate. That's what friendship is all about (and why sponsorship works!)

(But I still wouldn't say anything to them)