Real Life MMD: Friends won't sponsor me, should I say something?

Biggles

I agree with Mojisola. I got fed up with this kind of moral blackmail years ago and now, if asked, just say - nicely - 'No, thank you'.

I feel sorry for people who feel compelled to give the 'expected amount', whatever that may be.

elliep_2

I always struggle with the idea of sponsorship. As Willow_loulou pointed out in post 17, people asking for sponsorship are often doing a fun event which they would enjoy (and often not be able to afford) regardless of the charity involvement. Why should I pay for you to have fun? when I know that most of the money will actually go on the charity paying for you to do the fun activity...

If I want to support the charity you've chosen then the charity would actually get more money if I just gave it directly, but if I'm going to do that I may as well choose my own charity!

Please don't judge the closeness of your friends by whether or not they sponsor you. If you want sponsorship you should show them a sponsor form in person, and ask politely if they would like to sponsor you. Most people will respond politely and make a donation even if it's only £1 or £2 but you can't force the issue.

Prinzessilein

I have a couple of charities that are close to my heart. If I have a few spare pennies, I choose to donate to them.

I don't sponsor people.

I hate school-organized sponsored events. Firstly, if you sponsor one child word gets aropund and you have a dozen more clamouring for your name! And also these are fixed! What child ever fails to complete 20 laps of the football pitch or 50 lengths of the swimming pool or whatever...even the lazy ones! (And I used to teach - so I know the results are fixed - teacher simply signs the form to say yes, you've done it!). And the worst school sponsorship offered prizes to the pupils who got most sponsors...totally unfair to the pupils.

I dislike sponsoring because there is an element of guilt. Everyone else has sponsored for 50p a mile - so you feel obliged to offer at least that much.

No, I am actually very generous in my own way. I have looked into those charities I support and am happy to donate. I don't want other people trying tp persuade me to donate to their pet causes.

hardpressed

How much money are you giving yourself? You may be giving your time to do the sponsored event but that is not actually costing you anything financially. When I was at work there was hardly a month when somebody wasn't aking for sponsorship, anyone who didn't put their name on the list was branded as a skinflint. I give to the charities that I want to support, I don't want to be blackmailed into giveing to charities that I have no interest in. While I'm having a rant I don't want to be invited to one of these parties where you're expected to buy things that you don't want so the hostess gets a percentage of the sales.

Mr_Thrifty

I agree with Ellie. There's nothing worse than being badgered every other day by people who expect you to sponsor them for their latest self-PR craze.

It infuriates me when people think that that they can fool others into thinking that they are going scuba diving in the great barrier reef "for charity" or going on an activity holiday to Kilamanjaro "for charity". Really, just because they have held a lifelong ambition to "do a skydive" or "travel across peru", why do they think I would be even remotely inclined to support them in that endeavour?

Oh, I know, I've got an idea. I'm doing a sponsored pilgrimage to the bahamas for 2 weeks next year, for charity. Please would you all sponsor me to do that? Business class flights and 5 star hotels aren't cheap, you know. And I'll give the "profits" (i.e. the 50p or whatever is left over) to charity.

They must think we're mugs.

bkcoakes

Your, 'very worthwhile cause' may not be as worthwhile to your friends as the causes they may already be supporting. Also sponsorship tends to become never-ending with regard to different activites. Personally I rarely sponsor anyone - I prefer to support various charities by direct debit. Your friends have a right to their own opinion!

compforus

In appearance my partner and I may look like we are comfortably off. Nobody knows how we are paddling like mad underneath to try and make ends meet each month. I hardly want to give to the 'local schools trips out fund' etc when I am struggling to keep the house warm, put food on the table and be able to afford to have warm clothes on.

My partner and I find that people asking us for sponsorship causes us great embarrassment, makes us feel very uncomfortable and is actually very distressing. I had one lady at work, doing a parachute jump, ask me three times and always in front of other people and some who where signing up giving £10.

I know it is a way of getting money out of people but would it not have been better for her just to give the money she was spending on the jump straight to the charity with a gift aid? Hardly good for the environment too, loads of fuel, etc.

I know it sounds a bit bah humbug'ish but it sometimes seems a way of someone having fun and being expected others to pay for it 'in the name of charity'

When I had a salary I gave by DD to who I wanted to.

Talent

I've never sponsored anyone for anything. I'm sure some do it just for self-aggrandizement and get their pics in the paper, up on the podium, handshakes all round. If you want to do something for a charity, go and do it, don't expect everyone to follow like sheep. My wife and myself only support 'Help The Aged'. We personally take our excess or unwanted stuff to the shop and our saved up small denomination pocket ripping coins and any foreign travel (not much!) coins get handed over.
Some years ago a girl at our daughters school was in the local paper asking for donations to fund her trip to South America to help needy children or something or other. Basically she was wanting little old ladies to cough up a few bob of their meagre pension for a dream trip. We knew the family, her grandfather was a millionaire. The family owned a hotel chain. She was asking her classmates to hand over pocket money. The teachers were behind the sponsorship, (I don't know if they contributed though).
One word.... scum scams. There are many around. As I said, do what you want, let others alone.

JStuart

No, you shouldn't question them. It is their money, they can spend it however they wish, it has nothing to do with you. Sorry if it sounds harsh, but I wouldn't like to be questioned about how I spend my money.

Talent

Hi Prinzessilein. I forgot to mention the schoolkids. I never let our 5 children bother friends and neighbours with school sponsorships. We didn't sponsor other kids. I would give our kids 50p or £1 to take towards stuff like school equipment but nothing for outside school things.