Real Life MMD: Friends won't sponsor me, should I say something?

awm49

I am constantly being asked to give to charities in the street, online and by family/friends for various reasons all of which I am sure are worthwhile however I like to choose where my money is donated. I personally pay for a scholarship fund for a fillipino to go to university. The money is paid directly to the school and I can see an immediate benefit.

Unfortunately I do not see that with many charities, I often find hidden in the small print of donations for family and friends that the payment processor for the card or direct debit payment take a percentage of the payment.

I also find that many of the people on the street are no volunteers but are salaried by third party companies. Sadly there are also charities which are poorly run and lack efficiencies.

All of which makes me reticent to give money to charities instead of directly to the people who need it who I know get every single piso.

TBagpuss

I disagree, Shiva42

Shiva42 wrote: »

Its fairly typical of the stingy small minded section of society (and is why we presently have the Tories in again) to go with the "I'll do what I want with my money" lecture. You are (nearly) all missing the main points here -

1. Just GIVE something, we're talking about charities here and they are suffering like you wouldnt believe at the moment because of politicians and bankers. And chairites and their staff and volunteers actually have the courage and passion to go out there every day and actually DO something for other less fortunate (less well off) people! You can afford it, and even if you dare to try and say you can't, just dont stuff the next takeaway down your throat.

You have no way of knowing what people are already donating. Why should they be expected to prioritise the cause which is dear to the OP's heart over ones which are dear to their own hearts? And there are some causes whichpeople may not support because they either don't agree with their aims, or because they feel that their money could better support similar aims, by giving in a different way (sponsorship can often have several layers of admin/ transaction charges)

2. The reason you think the questionner shouldn't say anything is that you, and therefore by inference her friends, are mean selfish people and you couldn't care less - shame on you!

Er, no. but I think the the choice of whether and how, and to what causes I donate, is my choice, and how my friends, or acquaintances donate their money is their choice. It isn't selfish or mean to decide to continjue giving to (say) cancer research charities instead of donating to your friend's sponsored walk in aid of donkey sanctuaries (or vice-versa)

3. The other level on which to look at this is that it is a friend asking for a favour and for support, so just give a fiver and think yourself lucky that you know someone who is not selfish and is out there doing and giving when you can't be bothered to.

I agree that it may be reasonable to donate in order to support your friend, even if the cauise isn't one you'd otherwise support. BUT as others have pointed out, some kinds of 'charity' fundraising do have a big element of self-indulgence - I am very reluctant to donate to someone who is cycling across cuba, or climbing Kilomanjaro, or anything of that kind, because the proportion of the mmeny raised which actually goes to the charity is often very low. In those cases, I will take some convincing that the person carrying out the task is actually doing so for selfless reasons. If they are so unselfish and wish to support that specific charity, why not seekn sponsorship for something which is useful in it's own right, or which does not invlove significant cost.

You can't assume that becasue someone does not give to one specific sponsorship/charity request that they don't give to charity, or volunteer, or act in very unselfish ways themself. There is a significant minority of people who make it a point NOT to talk about their charity work, because charity should be a private matter which you do because it's right, not becuase you want to look good.

N.I.M

TBagpuss wrote: »

You can't assume that becasue someone does not give to one specific sponsorship/charity request that they don't give to charity, or volunteer, or act in very unselfish ways themself. There is a significant minority of people who make it a point NOT to talk about their charity work, because charity should be a private matter which you do because it's right, not becuase you want to look good.

Sanity does exist. Thank you.

Dreamscometrue

I am lucky to have a decent job at the moment and like many people I treat myself occasionally (without going wild). I also have substantial levels of debt like many others. Whilst it may seem that I'm doing quite well I'm just trying to stay afloat like a lot people. Like most I help out when I can, usually every month but I give directly.

TimBear

Some people may have the money to spare but don't agree with the cause; don't press your friends for the money.

missile

I am glad OP is not my friend:j

prowla

I don't agree with these "sponsor me to go on a trip for charity" things; it seems to me like it's really just paying for a holiday.

And how much of the money actually gets to the deserving cause?

I once sponsored a previous workmate to go on a hike in Peru or something, but it was more that he'd helped me out there rather than I thought it was going to save the world.

nhampson

prowla wrote: »

I don't agree with these "sponsor me to go on a trip for charity" things; it seems to me like it's really just paying for a holiday.

And how much of the money actually gets to the deserving cause?

I once sponsored a previous workmate to go on a hike in Peru or something, but it was more that he'd helped me out there rather than I thought it was going to save the world.

I can think of a huge number of people I would contribute a fiver toward if it meant they went a long way away for a long time....

FATBALLZ

Urgh, there's nothing more I hate than when people who go round asking other people to 'sponsor' them.

Roughly translated they are saying "I want to go have some fun doing some useless activity and take all the glory and attention for it, whilst you go to work, earn some money, give it to me, and then I will tell everyone I 'raised it'."

If you are that passionate about charity, donate the £5k or whatever out of your own back pocket. Otherwise !!!! off.

Can't stand that stupid 'just giving' website either. A bulletin board of who has donated, and how much, for everyone to see, to attempt to guilt others into giving more than they can afford, to a cause they don't support.

heretolearn_2

I don't think you have any right to question those who choose not to sponsor you. It's their money, their decision, and they don't have to justify it to anyone.

I think we are being a little harsh on some of the people who ask for sponsors though.

I agree that I do not want to pay for someone to go off on a jolly holiday etc.

It doesn't always work that way though.

I've done 3 sponsored events - an abseil down a car park, a zipwire slide, and a solo parachute jump. In every case, yes, I did them because I thought it sounded like fun. In every case when you sign up to do them you had a simple choice - a) pay for the activity yourself and then fundraise on top of that with 100% of the donated money going to the charity, or b) guarantee to raise a minimum amount and then get your activity free (in other words part of the donations were used to pay for it).

I always paid for myself in full and made this clear to everyone I approached for sponsorship and promised 100% of what they gave would go directly to the charity. Every 'charity experience' I've looked into has given you these two option.

What's wrong with that? True, I could have just gone and done those things myself without any charity element and it would have cost me the same. But if I can pay to go do something both fun and challenging (the number of people who said 'I couldn't do that!' and there were people on the day who pulled out as their courage failed them) AND at the same time collect some money for a charity, surely it's win-win? You can't tell me all those people I collected from would have sponteneously gone and given that 50p or whatever to a charity anyway. The charities get a lot of extra money from these things.

I would pick my activities carefully. All of these have an element of a personal challenge, they were fun, yes, but also scary and difficult. I wouldn't ask for sponsorship to walk 5 miles along a road as there's no challenge in that for me, or to go on a foreign tour holiday even with some pretend charitable 'school building' or whatever as that really is taking the mick imo. I'm tempted at the mo to go for a charity walk up Mount Snowdon next year as it would be a big challenge for me to lose weight and get fit enough, and again I would cover the actual costs myself, and it would be an achievement and challenge people are sponsoring me to do, not just a jolly hol.

I don't agree that the things you get sponsored for should also be something that directly benefits someone, like doing their gardening. The point of events and sponsorship is to raise money - that's separate to providing a charitable service itself.

It's wrong to pressure or guilt people into giving. It makes me think of the Catherine Tate sketches with Geordie Georgie going into the office every day or so for some ridiculous cause - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNbt8noczlw&feature=related