A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

kidcat

Lilysue - I have never grasped crochet, my nan taught me to knit but crochet was beyond me so good luck with that one.
As for schools, last year my son had the most incredible teacher who saved my life (literally) when she rescued us from our previous school. Unfortunately he has moved into juniors now and the teacher is different, she has never dealt with any autistic children but feels she knows it all and is not afraid to tell me how far above me she is.
Snapping last week was the right thing to do and I hope that the other three sets of parents follow suit. They are having the same issues and if we stand together we have a chance - failing that its going to be home schooling, I have decided that whilst I would get very little respite I would at least not be stressed and watch DS unhappy.

My plants have been very strange this year, garlic, onions and potatoes are all growing huge but the rest is non existant.

LilySue

Kidcat ~ Will your son get a different teacher in September? If so maybe it might be worth while seeing how it goes. I do think home-schooling is a great option to have up your sleeve, I home-schooled my middle son ( who has ADHD and dyspraxia) for a year, educationally it was great for him, but the respite factor was a challenge.

I feel very hopeful for you that there are three other sets of parents involved, one of my youngest son's problems is that he was the first child with autism going through his primary school, they'd had a boy with Aspergers several years ago and expected my son to behave like him, I think we all learnt a lot about how every individual on the autistic spectrum is unique!


You sound a great Mum, I went back and read about your break-out funeral day :T

kidcat

Thanks Lilysue and no he is stuck with her for the whole of juniors so another three years - I cant face that so have no idea how he must feel.

stiltwalker

Oh no kidcat - hadn't realised that you poor ds (and you) were stuck with this (insert expletive) teacher for that long. My friend homeschools her 2 and we go to lots of the homeschool social type stuff as the mixed age range is great for DD and I like the grown up company while various older children take my 2 little ones off my hands! I believe education otherwise is a great resource and support if it come to that and certainly going by our local group the are a good bunch and the kids are all really supportive of each other and accepting of each others little quirks (several are ASD/aspergers etc to varying degrees of quirkiness). I'm having a bit of an internal debate at the moment as in my heart of hearts I have some huge issues with today's schooling and curriculum focus however equally I recognise that due to our current financial position and OH's current job combined with our ages we also need to (at some point) both have better paying jobs/pension provision in order to provide the support that our kids will need later on. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place either doing what I think is best educationally now or providing the best stable support for the long term. I really want to do both but they haven't devised 48 hour days yet and so consequently I can't. I think I've resigned myself to them going into school with me being super aware of what is going on and prepared to take them out if necessary.

If you decide to take your ds out (I'm assuming he is statemented?) there are slightly more hoops to jump through so make sure you get the right advice, education otherwise will be able to advise I'm fairly sure

smileyt_2

kidcat wrote: »

Thanks Lilysue and no he is stuck with her for the whole of juniors so another three years - I cant face that so have no idea how he must feel.

Oh no, poor kid! Poor you! What a bizarre set-up - every school I know has different teachers for different years.

Hello LilySue.

PAH forgot to say earlier - your dogs look as helpful as mine in the garden .... :rotfl:

Off to bed. Night, all. Sweet dreams xxx.

prepareathome

I homeschooled youngest as although school was fanastic for other two when it came to him he was a square peg in round hole - he has dyslexia rather badly and in those days I was told by the asst head 'its a middle class mums disease' and there is nothing my son needs that some strict discipline to get him reading. Took me till he was 10 to get tested and offically diagnosed as in those days it was only just being recognised ( late 1980's) and school refused to accept it so I removed him and homeschooled and next thing I knew education dept here was taking me to court for not sending my son to school. To this day I cannot remember what I said in court, but hubby said I spoke for 30 mins explaining about sons health problems ( spending most of first 6 years in hospital) then the dyslexia and what I was doing for his homeschooling, but I have a total mind blank. I remember going into the dock and swearing the oath and nothing until I was walking back to sit beside hubby. Needless to say I won the case and education dept were reminded how it is quite legal for a parent to homeschool and the case should never have gone to court. I do remember the look on head of education depts face, if looks could kill I would have dropped dead. In those days there were no homeschool organisations and I was one of very few, or maybe only parent at the time here homeschooling but got son reading, writing and he even passed quite a few GCSEs mainly Cs all from what I taught him but declined to go on to A'level, he would have had to go to college for that and he then and now still feels uncomfortable writing in front of others, thanks to the way his teacher at school used to embarrass him in class age 5 over his handwriting. I just wish I had taken him out of school at 5 and not wait till he was 10 but I didn't feel I could teach him as well as the school, I trusted them and they damaged my son, no to ways about it, their treatment has left their mark to this day. Nowadays this self same school is a centre of excellence for dyslexic children.

Well bed calls, our internet went down for a couple of hours which I was worried about as someone on freecycle offered a cast iron frying pan and I was chosen, am tickled pink as would love all cast iron cookware and this is a start and didn't have the address as was waiting for him to send it, but thankfully back on again and got the address so we will collect it tomorrow. He says its old and needs attention but can be used so will be a project to keep me busy removing any rust and seasoning it for use. Second time in a week internet has gone down so tomorrow will call ISP and find out what is going on.

Night night, hope your hand isn't aching to much Mar

Oh gosh welcome to our newbies sorry names forgotten, as you will get to know I am hopeless with them.......

Hugs, Healing and Love to everyonexxxxxxxxxxxxx

prepareathome

LilySue wrote: »

Mardy ~ It's his fault, any changes to the status of potentially sharp objects needs to be communicated!

Kidcat ~ My youngest son has autism, and I have found that schools and different teachers within the same school vary enormously in their ability to accomodate and teach children on the spectrum.

Feeling slightly silly posting about my day, as I'm new and why should you be interested in my allotment and life but.....had a good afternoon at my allotment:) I stuck it out through a spell of rain and a hail shower ( which got rid of my two teen helpers) Put in the mange tout plants I bought at a roadside stall last week, weeded my potatoes and broad beans and went on a lovely tour of my friend's allotment. He's a very friendly spry older Irish man who was widdowed a couple of years ago and likes to keep himself busy by helping everyone.....he's done some of my hard digging and gave me two big courgette plants today, I must bake him something for next week.

Came home and made some rather leathery gluten free pastry, but on top of left over chicken and veg made a reasonable pie. And now I'm slumping over the computer and am wondering just how hard it would be to learn how to crochet....

Ah Lily now I have your name and of course we want to hear what you have been up to, we are the nosiest lot around ( ducking and hiding)

Crocheting is very, very easy - look on youtube lots of fantastic vids there to show you how, I noticed a couple even on finger crochet the other day......

Right bed definately - oh yes Fuddle yep those tins did not appear overnight, and as not bought any since march its a lot less than it was but I have been at this for years and still not got what I want = a years supply, one day, well a girl can dream. Always seems to be when I get a few months supply money needs to be spent on other things so no money to buy more so have to use it. I didn't take a photo of the kitchen cupboards they have tins in one and breakfast cereals, other baking things in another - only have two cupboards for food in there, one a base unit and one a double wall cupboard. I would love to fill every bookcase in study with tins and jars and just have the books piled up in the middle :rotfl:

Definitely night night sweet dreams everyone

Hugs, love and healing for everyone xxxxxxxxxxx

Mrs_Chip

Morning Everyone!

Welcome Lily, no doubt GQ will be getting you to make the tea shortly!

Up early as I can't sleep - OH snoring like a pig in its sty and my feet are aching and hot. Last night went well again, another sell-out of fish, and lots of amazing comments about the food. But boy am I glad we are not working tonight. I can't believe how much a couple of hours on my feet is taking it out of me, I am going to have to harden up fast!

I am going to have to sit down with OH today and have a serious talk about roles and responsibilities, he is getting too chippy (:D) by half. He is IC cleaning the van the morning after we have worked but he has 'man eyes' and only sees the most 'obvious' grime, and does not see why it matters! he then takes umbrage when shown how it should be done and has a hissy fit, which I can't be doing with. He must understand that we cannot compromise on cleanliness, and I am not just saying it because I am an 'anally retentive control-freak' (his words). Should be interesting .

Looking forward to a day off, but will be prepping on Wednesday - the HM stuff is going well, so need to keep ahead of the game. I am making southern-fried free-range chicken and coleslaw for Thursday so will be busy in the kitchen tomorrow. I also have to pin bone our current batch of fish, make mushy peas and tartare sauce - and OH thinks he has the raw end of the deal with the cleaning and serving!

Anyway enough from me for now, hope everyone has a lovely day, whether lottying, crocheting or armageddoning!

prepareathome

Mrs Chips I am so, so pleased your business has started off so well and am praying it goes from better to better and you end up with a whole fleet of vans all over.

Got a surprise at 7am, binmen came - no one was expecting them so no one had put their bin out, ours luckily lives at the front of house so they actually opened the gate came up the path and took it. Seeing binmen on a bank holiday is unheard of and then the fact they actually came in and took it didn't drive past as was not at edge of property ( we have a tiny pavement by a busy main road so bins cannot be put on edge of it as to dangerous and police informed council of this after a few people nearly got knocked down years ago when they first introduced these bins and then bins had to be at edge of pavement, but it meant anyone going past had to walk on road,which as one of main roads into city gets very, very busy in rush hour and bins usually not collected till around 10am then).

Woke up just before they arrived with a headache and feeling very dehydrated and already drank half a litre of water and on second half yet still feel so dehydrated, not sure why as drank plenty past few days and always do drink at least 2 litres of water plus numerous cups of tea a day. I know headache will not go until I have drank enough so pointless taking anything for it. Neck is a bit sore so hoping its not going to go into a migraine ( usually how they start) as not had one now for about a year and was hoping they had gone for good ( a specilist told me years ago that migraines can very often go when people turn 55 but they do not know why and after about 5 years ago when I had them constantly for nearly 3 years but hardly one since I was hoping that would be the case for me.) During those years I spent most of my time lying down in darkness so totally got out of the habit of watching tv as the screen would make things worse and not got back into it, I just watch odd things I really do want to see via laptop and iplayer or similar depending on the station. Roght that is a litre of water in me and still I feel as if I have not had a drink for days........tomorrow I go for fasting blood test to check glucose levels as in past have had middling to high readings but not high enough to class as being diabetic so have to have them every so often.

Urg head becoming sorer so got to get off this and lie down, think will have to close curtains again as need darkness, not a happy bunny..........

Hope everyone else has a better day,

Hugs, Love and healing to allxxxxxxxxx

Its dull and overcast out there and a bit chilly - not been out but window open and can feel cold draught coming in.

fuddle

LilySue, I love reading about what others get up to and thrilled we have you here

I'm so sorry to read about your experiences with schools and your children with SEN. It all resonates with me but from a different perspectives. Before I quit work to have my children I was a support assistant in both infant/primary and secondary. I am very bitter about my treatment (sent out alone to deal with children who were having difficulties in class or 'disruptive'. But when the children were 'conforming' I was no better than a class skivvy/tea girl/photocopier. I was very undervalued when what I should have been doing was implementing a differentiation curriculum so the children could cope in the classroom environment. I have once heard a teacher say 'I should't have to teach these children' and was absolutely livvid. If they used me in the way in which I was intended then it could have worked.

I became very frustrated and two things started to happen. Because I had built up really good rapport with the children (you have to don't you, the children need to feel trust and actually like you) the teachers became 1) jealous of that and I found that their confidences or ego's became knocked as I could 'handle these children' whereas they couldn't. In truth they just never took the time. 2) there was a lot of plagiarism going on i.e. they would get me to write reports about the children, for whatever outside agency, and use that report but signed their name at the bottom.

The crux came one annual review when we were all sat there, mum, head teacher, teachers, me and educational psychologist - I read my report out and the teachers face drained. She had become so used to pinching my words that she wrote pretty much the same as me in the same order etc. She made a quick comment before she read her statement saying something like 'fuddle must have had a look at mine to right hers, deary me, they're near identical'. I was absolutely livid and couldn't hide the anger in my face. I wanted to stand up for myself but that would have been unprofessional. The pyschologist pulled me to one side at the end (you cant hide anything from them can you lol) and said he knew that it was my work and sees it happening so often. He actually said to me we need talented teachers in education and I see you have a talent and a passion for my work, for the children and how would I feel about becoming a teacher myself. From that day I have been determined to get into schools and teach. I'm in my 3rd year of my degree to then go on to teach Geography in secondary schools (if it all works out)

So sorry about letting all that out on the OS thread. I just wanted to let you know that there are some really good caring people out there working with children with special needs, it's the hiarchy letting every one down in some schools.

Ergh, another thing. I was talking to my mum last night on the phone. You know we have sold the car? Well we have a couple of hundred in the bank now. We have bought DD a new bed as she's been sleeping on my MIL's guest bed for 6 months, I've paid some of my arrears off gas/electric and we've been redecorating the living room and plan on getting lined curtains for the bay window in prep for the winter. My mum has scoffed at how we always fritter any money away (one minute I'm 'tight' and the next I'm a spendaholic ) and that we are stupid for spending our money on a house we rent...... breathe!

Ok, we lost our home three years ago when I gave up work to look after the children myself. I cannot tell you the pain. We now have a 1930's semi that we rent privately. It's quite cheap rent as the decoration really was in a mess. It's taken this long to get anywhere near complete. Having lost our home I know that all I need as a family is to feel like we have a home. Home is so important to us. It doesn't matter who actually owns the house (mortgage company/landlord) but a home is home and I feel strongly that we should feel happy and content in it. My mum think we should have saved that money for a deposit for a mortgage. I would love a mortgage and a house but it's not going to happen yet. We're a one wage family and trying to live for the moment (you never know what will happen) until I am qualified we're making ends meet. What is the point of having a couple of hundred sat in the bank when there's no hope of adding to it in the next 5 or more years when you need to pay off/buy a bed for your kids/home.

I get what she's saying but it hurt. We haven't squandered anything. We sold a car (and I my life would have been easier if I had kept it!!) because it was a luxury and costing money to run. We used the money to pay the only debt we have, bought a bed that was needed, spent some on making home more comfy and put some away in case it was needed. I am sat here feeling so angry at the snobbery over renting/owning. It shouldn't matter. Home. It's my home. Sorry I let her down by becoming a renter. Sorry she looks down on me. Sorry she doesn't like coming here. Sorry she tells people we moved to live in a bigger house in a better area. Sorry. I don't waste money. I look after my family and make sure a home is a loving welcoming place to be.

Really sorry this has been long this morning. I don't think I've spoken about anything OS but it all has OS connotations as I emulate my grandma, who lived in a council house but made it a home. I doubt anyone scoffed at her... they wouldn't dare!