Very fussy 4 yr old won't eat much!

rosie383

I know there are many threads on feeding fussy kids, getting veg into them etc, and I have been reading for hours.
My 4 yr old is giving me 'mealtime battles' at the mo! When I look at her diet, she does eat more than some kids, but I am really struggling to get her to eat what the rest of us eat.
She will eat virtually any fruit, cucumber, lettuce, and other fresh veg in the summer. However, she won't eat anything with a sauce, so it is difficult to hide things. She will eat things like plain rice, pasta, noodles, cous cous, but only small portions of these things.
I just worry that she is not getting enough nutrients. A typical day would be:
Breakfast: Cereal (maybe 3 tbsp + milk) OR 3/4 slice wholemeal toast with butter.

Packed lunch: 1 slice bread as a sandwich made with butter and either choc spread / peanut butter/ vegemite.
Chunk of cucumber (about 3")
Maybe HM small flapjack or 1/2 muffin.
Either a wee tub of sugar-free jelly/ or maybe a frube.

Dinner: She will eat maybe 1 tbsp mash, small piece chicken or salmon, if I'm lucky, couple spoonfuls baked beans (this is a battle I've just won!), or 2 baby corn, 1 tbsp peas.

She would eat plain pasta/ rice etc every single meal if I let her.
She will eat a cheese omelette, but not if I add anything else to it.

I have stopped giving her anything else in the evening if she doesn't eat her dinner, and most times she will just go off to bed without eating. Occasionally she will eat the pasta or whatever later in the evening that she refused earlier.
She just doesn't seem to have much of an appetite. She is a healthy weight, but on the small side.
I am just worried that I am not giving her enough healthy food. I can't hide things in sauces as I've said.
She will eat soup, but again, this is hit and miss. It is always HM, and I try to make one that she likes, and then the next time I make it, for some reason she hates it!
I know she is taking the mickey to a certain extent, I just can't figure out how to get her to eat more healthy food!

short_bird

From what I've seen on TV programmes, the main thing seems to be not to make a battle out of it: you and the rest of the family stay chilled, she stays chilled. Make a fuss when she does eat rather than when she doesn't. And it sounds as if she's less averse to vegetables and wholemeal food than a lot of kids:D

Katkin_2

I really wouldnt worry too much about it yet. From the description of her food it sounds as though she is getting enough nutrients. You could try her with some smoothie drinks and get her to make them with you which would up her vitamins and minerals. And its a drink not food. Homemade food is always healthier than shop bought so you are doing very well anyway. I know it is just infuriating when they wont eat something you have taken ages to prepare.

My DSS would not eat anything except plain pasta for around a year, and my own DD (4) and DS (6) wouldnt eat meat for a while. Something about them being too lazy to chew. DS was under weight for a long time and I worried about what he ate. My Health Visitor told me not to worry and just to let him eat what he wants as their bodies know when they are full at that age.

I found once they started school full time they are hungrier in the evenings.

If you are really worried about her eating then talk to your HV.

Another thought is too eat together and give her a bit of what you are having. You may find that she will try a bit. My kids always eat better when we eat at the table together. Just no fizzy drinks to go with it.

I really HTH to settle your mind about it. ((HUGS))

Diflower

It doesn't look bad. If she's eating fruit and some veg it's more than a lot manage. Also does she drink any milk?
You say she likes a cheese omelette, have you tried mashing a little cheese into her potato? Also, some kids really like pasta mixed with just grated cheese (not made into a sauce, just added after the pasta's cooked).

I used to eat very little as a child, once the doctor told my mum I was perfectly healthy she stopped worrying. I really hated other people trying to 'persuade' me to eat more. Children's palates are more sensitive as well, a lot of the things I didn't eat just tasted far too strong to me.
Gradually as I got older I tried and liked more things. It is best to try and offer a good variety though, once in a while you'll find a new taste/texture she enjoys.

rosie383

Thanks guys. We do all eat as a family and do things like smoothies. Has to be the best way to get fruit into kids! They especially love them with the frozen bananas as they are nice and ice-creamy.
It's the savoury foods that are the problem. As I say, only plain pasta/ rice etc. All of our meals are cooked from scratch, and as dh will only eat things with a sauce, I end up cooking separately. Things like the pasta are ok, as I just leave some plain for her and grate some cheese over it, but I would love her to eat what we eat, and to eat enough.
I am trying really hard not to make a fuss at mealtimes. I just hate that she will either refuse to eat, or eat just a tiny bit of the bits she wants, and then refuse to eat any more.

rosie383

So I should just 'chill'? I think I have read so many threads where people say...."just put it in front of them, if they are hungry they will eat". Made me think that I was letting her be very unhealthy and was a bad Mum!

valk_scot

Is she sticking to her growth curve for her height? If so, she's fine. Some children are petite, others are bulldozers. If she's the correct weight for her height, eating a good range of foods over the course of a week (not just a day) and has plentyenergy then my advice is to back off now and leave her alone otherwise you could end up giving her food issues in later life. Children are much better than us at listening to their inner voices as to when they're full. Far better to be an energetic, lean child than a fat and unfit one, tbh. And smaller bodies only want smaller portions. a portion of fruit or veg is the size of the eater's clenched fist so her portion size will be a lot smaller than an adult's.

Got to say though that her typical day as written above is low in dairy foods. Does she drink a lot of milk? If so then remember milk is a food and that's possibly why she's not eating a lot of solid food. One pint a day of full fat (semi-skimmed is for over fives, unless a child is chubby) is enough.

Also check she's not drinking lots of squash or fizz, both of which fill kids up without adding nutrients.


Also your typical day is low in fruit and veg. TBH I don't see what's wrong with a cheese omelette and a little plate with a selection of raw stuff like carrot sticks, apple chunks, cherry tomatoes etc. Or plain pasta with grated cheese and salad? Chopped fruit with her Frube or yoghurt. Cheese or ham with salad on a sandwich, or beside a piece of bread and butter. Many kids don't like mixed up food, especially if their mum is trying to conceal hated ingredients inside!


Why sugar free jelly btw? It's full of foul chemical sweetners. Sugar is a healthier alternative than sweetners if calories are not an issue tbh, though of course you mustn't go overboard with it. Ditto vegimite...full of salt, choc spread is full of sugar and the less healthy type of oil and contains nothing by way of healthy ingredients. There are healthier alternatives...chocolate is healthier than choc spread, belive it or not!

Katkin_2

Is she at full time school yet? Can i recommend that if she is or when she goes (& if its still an issue then),and you can afford it, make her have school meals. She may well eat better with her peers than with you. It would be interesting to see what she would do if she goes to someone elses house for a meal. It used to shock me what my children would eat if other people had cooked and put it in front of them.

You do sound quite worried. Please go see the GP or HV for some advice or just to put your mind at rest.

rosie383

She does drink milk, but would have maybe 1/2 pint in total over a whole day. She eats more fruit than I put in the above food diary type thing. I will give her a cut up apple, handful of grapes, wee orange or whatever I have. She does eat 4-5 portions of fruit or veg a day, but small portions.
The reason she sometimes has sugar-free jelly, is because I only buy vegetarian jelly, and that would be maybe once a month.
I buy the reduced salt yeast extract and only use a wee bit. I make my own choc spread too so I know exactly what is in it. It's usually peanut butter she would have.
Oh, and she also has at least 3 kid-size handfuls of peanuts per week as she is part of a peanut-allergy study.

rosie383

My friends have got her to eat things that she wouldn't eat for me. Things like peas, fish fingers, that she wouldn't even try for me.
I think my problem is that one day she will eat cauliflower, for example, so I think to myself "great, I can add that into the menu!". Then the next time I try it, she turns her nose up completely!
So, if she eats fruit, some veg (but just the ones she likes), plain fish and meat (again small portions), plain rice/ pasta etc, and some egg and cheese, that should be okay for her? Oh, and the peanuts and milk too.
Would it be worth me doing a food diary?

Katkin_2

Children apparently need to taste something at least 19 times before they decide they like it permemantly. So keep trying the cauliflower and add new things for her to try making sure some of her old favourites are in there too. All kids are the same - liking something one day but not the next. It is infuriating! Keep at it - you are doing better than most and you havent given up. You sound like a good mum so dont beat yourself up. I wouldnt worry about the food diary unless asked to do one by a medical practitioner. The person before was right about sugar substitutes though. We are told that we shouldnt be giving our kids sugar but the alternative is worse. Aspartamine effects over the long term have not yet been looked at, but kids need some sugar. My dentist told my DS today to eat ice-cream for the weekend as he's made one of his teeth loose in an accident at school and has to eat soft stuff for 4 days!