Real Life MMD: My son broke boy's glasses - should I pay?

Hal

1. If the shoe were on the other foot, and it was your son whose glasses needed replacing - and if it did cost £50 to replace them - would you expect the other boy's parents to meet half the cost, or would you expect to pay the full cost yourself?
2. Dependent upon your answer to the point above, the next issue if you did decide to share the cost is whether there is a cost to share, or whether it should be covered in full by the NHS. I suspect that whilst Specsavers etc will replace glasses for free, there might be a real cost of £50 which it recovers from the NHS. The other boy's parents might think they have to pay it.
   
   If it were me, I would expect the other boy's parents to contribute in point 1; so I would be prepared to contribute to their cost if any. I would do so up to a max of £25 and against sight of the receipt explaining that I was willling to contribute but I thought that replacement glasses should be free on the NHS for children. Any other course of action would be likely to lead to rancour (and yes, recover it from your son's pocket money).

JuniperBerry_3

Firstly, not the schools fault, individuals - even kids - need to learn they are responsible for their own actions.
First action, call a local Specsavers or similar, confirm advice here about free repairs then a note to the other parent appologising and saying, re money, "if you take them to X they wil be repaired free"
If for some reason other parent does need to pay then you should pay half once they forward the receipt (and son pays you back from pocket money)
As others have said the bullying is a seperate issue, I would mention it to the other parent if they seem reasonable, if not then the school.

JayD

The condition of the glasses when they got broken is totally irrelevant. The replacement pair will not be any cheaper because the broken ones were old or already damaged!
The boy had usable glasses until the playfight. During the playfight they got broken. He needs glasses. I think that to ask you to pay half towards a new pair is perfectly reasonable and I am amazed that anyone could think otherwise. £25 may be a great deal of money to you but I think in the grand scheme of optician charges these days, it is not a huge amount to have to find at all.

I recommend that you pay up and tell your son to be a lot more careful in future. It is a good lesson in consequences for him.

faineant

Compromise, goodwill and responsible behaviour are the key things here.

Suggest to the other parents that the two boys need to take equal responsibility and be given equal chores (working together if possible) to earn their contributions towards the replacement cost.

Who knows they may even become good friends but at least they should be able to make up and establish goodwill between the parents.

superbabe612

Don't pay. This is extortion!
My children both wear glasses but not all the time. I pay a small cost towards the frames (usually £10 or £20, since I tell my kids they should only choose from the 'cheaper' ranges!). Glasses can be repaired free of charge or replaced at no cost, dependent on the frames. My eldest recently lost her brand new glasses and I told her if I had to pay for a replacement, it would be with the standard NHS frames, to encourage her to look after them. It was a nice surprise to find out we could get them replaced free (that's what I pay my tax and NI for, after all!).
The school is condoning the bullying by asking the OP to contribute to the cost to stop their son from being bullied.
I would suggest the OP writes to the school and the other boy's parents complaining about the bullying.

bobmccluckie

3 word answer

sling your hook.

tommo812

Hello, the main point I picked up from your dilema, was OLDER Brother bullying. The young ones are obviously mates(boys will be boys). I suggest the fathers get together over a pint and your husband pays half for new glasses. Not a great amount to pay to start new friendship and stop oler one getting the idea that its ok to be a bully.Nothing stops bullying faster than parents being friends.

ruthb2008

I'm sure that Judge Judy would say that your son was partially to blame for the damage and so you should be partially responsible. But given that his glasses will be free to replace, as confirmed by lots of opticians' employees above, I dont think you should pay a penny! What are they after, designer glasses for their young child?! If they decide they dont want the free glasses then that is on them, why should you pay for their son to be 'stylish'? I'd just explain to them that they will be able to get free replacement glasses on the NHS, so there really isnt any need for either of you to be paying anything. You never know, they might not realise it wont cost them a penny! How can they argue with that?! They do, however, need to have a word with their older son - bullying is not acceptable in any circumstances!

Gemmai

Since children's glasses are free on the NHS I would say don't pay.

If the broken glasses were designer and genuinely would cost £50 to replace I would say that is the boys parents own fault for sending him to school in designer glasses and they have to take responsibility for that. Let it be a lesson to them not to send the boy to school in designer gear!

It's predictable that items will get lost or damaged at school and it's just common sense not to send children in with expensive items, especially when it is just for the sake of fashion!

If the parents can afford designer glasses then they can get him two pairs. I wear glasses and I have two pairs, one designer pair and a cheap pair for when I am doing things where they have a greater potential to get damaged. It's not rocket science!

If the £50 is just to pay for the 'design' I would say they should be treated as any other fashion accessory, like trainers or clothes. The person who owns then takes the risk of them being lost/damaged/stolen.

On the other hand if there is a genuine reason why the lenses are more expensive and the parents can provide proof of that, it would be a nice adult gesture to offer to pay half.

Skoorb

Many people are kind of missing the point here.

"Children under 16 are entitled to an NHS optical repair or replacement voucher. This voucher helps towards the cost of replacing or repairing your child’s glasses or contact lenses if they lose or damage them."

The link has been posted already on this thread, and mentioned multiple times.

If you want to talk to someone from the NHS BUsiness Services authority for definitive proof as well, just ring the Health Cost advice line on 0845 850 1166

All optitions, eye departments in hospitals etc have copies of form GOS4 'Repair or Replacement' That's all they need.

So, since the parents get it free anyway, I would rather not simply donate £25 to their back pocket as their child is bullying your child... This just reinforces that bullying gets you free stuff. Not Good.

Make sure the school know it's free as well. Print out the NHS webpage if you have to.