Help! I'm sliding...

fict7182

Hi all,

I haven't posted on here before although I've been signed up with the site for at least two years, but have been feeling so desperate today I needed to tell someone how worried I am!

I've been struggling with debt ever since I went to Uni and was given a big interest-free overdraft, plus access to savings to pay off the overdraft everytime it got "full". The trouble is five years on, I've got no savings and debt's really threatening again.

I was so hopeful in September when I got awarded funding for post-grad study and cleared all my debts with some help from my grandma. I made a rule that I would keep £1000 clear at the end of the year and was budgeting really well, working a bit as well to balance up any treats...the trouble is I took my eye off the ball and now I feel like I'm sliding into an out of control spending spiral.

First it was a party that needed to be paid for and then it was a dinner party that I couldn't resist going all out on...then my boyfriend said he might be living part-time in the US and I started comfort spending...and now its Christmas and I feel so guilty giving handmade presents when everyone's so generous that I'm adding extras. Why can't I just accept being on restricted funds rather than being so grandiose?! I hate this.

I've got to stop this cycle of strict budgeting followed by treat-on-treat erosion. (And using a forward projection on my spreadsheet to spend money that isn't there or should be saved because "I can always make it up in the future") I feel like I've been doing it forever and that by the time I'm 30 I'll be without any savings or hope of a house.

So here's my current situation:

balance -1,808.37 (£2,000 limit)
credit cards -1,104.67 (0% until March)
owed 530.18 (now)
earnings due 672.51 (end Dec)
cash 23.56

rent due 1st Jan -331.67
allowance left for Dec -113.08
Christmas presents left to buy -115.00 (£75 boyfriend, £10 friends)

total debt at end of Dec: -1,884.87
with current account balance: -780.21

usual monthly expenditure
rent -331.67
bills -50.00
hair -30.00 (every other month)
allowance -280.00

...which is ok because I get a funding cheque in Jan, but that has to last me till April, by which time I'll still be -£656.59 in debt...and by the end of the year, I'll have paid my debts only IF I MANAGE TO GET BACK ON TRACK but have absolutely no buffer against *any* sort of emergency. So I can keep fooling myself that I'm doing ok or I can get a grip.

So the plan is:
i) to cut back holiday spending this January from £250 to £200 and try to save even more than that;
ii) to cut back my weekly allowance for everything (incl. food) to a max.£60 from £70 - in particular no more tea and cake at cafes when I'm feeling down/peckish/bored, which costs £3+ a day;
iii) to start saving on utilities at home - no more rampant use of the tumble dryer or gas fire instead of putting on a jumper...and to talk to housemates about reforming all our habits.

Well, its a start and, if I succeed, will mean I save £707 by the end of the academic year. Not much, but it will make 2007/8 the first ever year that I start without debt or having to lie to my parents about how financially sound I am or how well I'm managing. I really can't bear to carry on doing that...so wish me luck.

Smashing

Is there really any need to spend £75 on a present for your bf? I'm sure he would be understanding of your financial situation if it were explained to him.

melaniec_2

I hear what you are saying about cutting back on utility bills but that will only work if your flat mates are being as careful as you are. There is no sense in freezing when they are turning the heating up when you are out, especially if the bill will be split equally.

I agree about the BF christmas present I'm sure he'll understand that this year you need to cut it back.

Its a good start to cut back on the coffee and cake a habit that I can relate to, have you thought about making cakes at the weekend and taking one out with you that way you still have your treat at a fraction of the price.

Is it possible to have your hair cut at the local college or as a model at a hairdressers. I did this when I was a student, you need to set aside a lot more time but for a fraction of the cost.

CLAPTON

i would help you if you prepared a proper budget i.e. a detailed list of all spending and not things like allowance 280

look at the top of this page under budget planner and put everything you will spend over the next 12 months into it.

joeblack066

I also agree about your b/f 's pressie, get him something thoughtful but inexpensive. Many shops have started their sales so you should be able tto pick up a bargain. What work do you do, could you get a bit more? Debs

lady_noluck

Fict7182 hun, before you start trying to physically cut back on spending money you need to start mentally cutting back. I read your post and I could have written it myself...... I needed to pay for a party, I needed a dinner party, comfort spending, adding xmas extras...... I do exactly the same and it drives me mad (and leaves me very very poor ) You need to believe that you can manage your debt, have faith in yourself and stop comfort spending. Find comfort in other ways. I.e if cakes make you feel better, instead of going to a cafe and buying one make some at home. You'll benefit in 3 ways. 1. You'd have saved money because yours will be a lot cheaper, 2. You'll feel a sense of achievement at saving the money (put the money you would have spent in a debt free pig or something) and 3. you'll get a sense of pride at being able to cook nice cakes!! Thus reminding you that although you're in debt and feeling bad about yourself, you're not useless cos you've just made 50 cakes for £1 (or something like that........ )

It's all very well saying you'll save money but if you're mind is easily led astray by things you THINK you need, you'll never really save at all. It's taken me a loooooooooong time (and a psychologist AND psychotherapist to realise that!! :doh: ) Apparently comfort spending is a way of us pressing our self destruct buttons..........

Feel free to pm me if you need a virtual butt kicking next time you feel you need a spending fix! :grouphug:

fict7182

Thank you everyone for your suggestions - you've all been so helpful. Particularly lady_noluck!

a) I know I shouldn't spend so much on my boyfriend, but he's taking me away for my birthday and I feel obligated to spend on him...hmm, now I've written that down, it doesn't make much sense! He is really understanding and I am good at making things, so I will have to put my "wanting to match up" instinct away for a while.

b) I will definitely be going to a cheaper hairdresser and trying out offers for 'models'.

c) Me and Delia Smith are going to have a regular bake session from now on. Stupid thing is I'm a great cook and was saving loads at the beginning of term making my own bread and cakes...but laziness got me. So I shall have to make the effort if I'm serious about this.

d) I have to change my attitude permanently to spending and needing things/treats to make me feel better. Bit of a big one...but maybe this is a good time for some careful thought.

Well, today's the first day of being better. Thanks again for all your support, I really appreciate it.

hypno06

Be Strong - you KNOW what you have to do!

Close your eyes and visualise your bank statement at the end of the academic year if you put all your plans into action. Actually SEE that credit balance and FEEL that sense of achievement that it will release. Do this for a minute or so every morning to give yourself a good positive start to the day.

Keep in touch x