i can't stop spending

lemmings1986

hi all i am new to mse but could really use some help, a little about me live with my oh who i have been with for eight years i am 24yrs old and work full time for a supermarket chain he also works at the same store
my problem is i carnt stop spending i dont thinks theres a day gone by where i dont buy something and if im busy at home on my day off and oh at work i ring him up and ask him to get me random things that i dont need my cupboards are filled to the rafters but yet i carnt stop spending half the time i dont realise im doing it, i work mornings and he works nights and half the time i am on my own so i will just grab a sandwich rather then cooking a meal ,i have tried doing meal planner but havnt had any luck.we are currently £18,000 in debt and dont want to live like this so we have started budgeting and trying to stop spending we have cut our credit cards up although its me who spends most of the money not my oh.
my bills are always paid every month i never miss a payment most of the time we was paying the minimum payment but we never seem to have any money left once the mortgage is payed and utility bills,we are currently budgeting £10.00 a week for bread,milk patato's as our cupboards are chonged so we are goin to try and live out the cupboards and pay more off out debts.we dont go out that often as we both work different shifts my downfall is spending on stuff i dont need i now leave my bank card at home and only try and carry little money but i am finding it really hard i dont know what wrong with me when i was younger i used to save and wouldnt waste money but i just carnt help it,if any one has got any ideas reducing debt and sticking to a budget i could really use the help please thank you in advance xx

lostinrates

lemmings1986 wrote: »

,i have tried doing meal planner but havnt had any luck.

Its not luck! Its very important to take control and realise that its not luck, but rather discipline, planning and resourcefulness that will make a plan work.

If your cupboards are full now, why not plan your first no spend day for tomorrow?

Buddingblonde

Have you tried going out with nothing, no money, no card?
If you need food while out take a packed lunch, if you will need a drink take a drink but dont take a penny with you. See how you find that first of all. If you can plan a couple of no spend days per week you might be able to get your money back under control.
The only other thing I can think of is putting a weeks money in your purse and give your card to someone else - if you have a spend one day you will have to cut back the next.
What are you buying?

HariboJunkie

Lostinrates is right. You are just going to have to be disciplined and no one can dothat for you. Have a look around the board to get some ideas and then make lists and plans. Try the debt free wannabe board for inspiration on clearing those debts and working towards a goal.
Havealook at these threads to ge you started...

Avoiding the shops in April - The NSD Challenge

April 2011 Grocery Challenge

You've made the first step though so well done. :beer:

lemmings1986

lostinrates wrote: »

Its not luck! Its very important to take control and realise that its not luck, but rather discipline, planning and resourcefulness that will make a plan work.

If your cupboards are full now, why not plan your first no spend day for tomorrow?

i will it is my day off tommorow but i am doing a charity event at work to raise money for our charity of the year so other then that i wasnt planning on doing anything so will leave all money at home and will see how it goes i know i have a problem but from here on in i am going to try and clear my debts i am posting on here as i hoping it will give me encouragement to carry on

Bitsy_Beans

Why do you keep spending? Does it make you feel good? Do you forget what you've got stashed in the cupboard at home? If you can work out the reasons perhaps you can work towards dealing with this issue. Get your OH to ignore your requests extra shopping until you've used up some of your excess in the cupboard.
Given your busy lifestyle perhaps some quick and easy to prepare meals are in order. That way you're less tempted to buy a sandwich but not standing slaving away over a stove starving hungry Or the other choice is the batch cook, freeze it into portions and voila home made ready meal waiting for you.

The debt free boards have lots of tips, you can post a SOA (statement of affairs on there) and lots of the lovely posters can helpo advise you who you can trim your outgoings allowing you to chuck more money than min payments at your debt.

If you need daily encouragement and are able to post come and join us on the OS Daily thread, we'll be your cheerleaders egging you on the road to OS and debt free life.

Pink.

Hi lemmings,

Welcome to MSE

It sounds as though you feel that your spending is out of control. If so what about carrying only a little cash and no cards in your purse? If you know that you don't actually need anything just keep enough in there to cope with an emergency like getting home. When I'm on a savings drive I try to shop taking only the amount of cash out with me that I'm prepared to spend. That way if I don't have the money in my purse, then I can't spend it.

Another thing I do which possibly sounds a bit silly is that if I am trying stop myself from spending, or saving for something special I put a little note in my purse....at the moment it says 'holiday 2011' and just seeing that when I open my purse makes me think twice about what I'm buying and whether or not I really need it.

You've said that you don't get on with meal planning, but could you try just two days of 'shopping' from your cupboards? Plan your meals around what you've got it and perhaps tell your OH what you are doing so that he will be onboard and not just bring home shopping that you don't need if you phone him.

Are you in debt or is there something that you would like to save for if you could? Would it help to put aside any money that you are saving (that you would normally spend) and seeing it build up?

I know it's a fun tool, but it might be worth a look at The Demotivator It can be quite grounding to see how little things like a sandwich out or a takeaway can add up.

Good luck with cutting back your spending.

Pink

lemmings1986

Buddingblonde wrote: »

Have you tried going out with nothing, no money, no card?
If you need food while out take a packed lunch, if you will need a drink take a drink but dont take a penny with you. See how you find that first of all. If you can plan a couple of no spend days per week you might be able to get your money back under control.
The only other thing I can think of is putting a weeks money in your purse and give your card to someone else - if you have a spend one day you will have to cut back the next.
What are you buying?

thanks that is a good idea i read somewhere the envelope system where you work out what money you have and budget it in different envelopes and only open the envelopes when its needed for that particular thing

katholicos

lemmings1986 wrote: »

hi all i am new to mse but could really use some help, a little about me live with my oh who i have been with for eight years i am 24yrs old and work full time for a supermarket chain he also works at the same store
my problem is i carnt stop spending i dont thinks theres a day gone by where i dont buy something and if im busy at home on my day off and oh at work i ring him up and ask him to get me random things that i dont need my cupboards are filled to the rafters but yet i carnt stop spending half the time i dont realise im doing it, i work mornings and he works nights and half the time i am on my own so i will just grab a sandwich rather then cooking a meal ,i have tried doing meal planner but havnt had any luck.we are currently £18,000 in debt and dont want to live like this so we have started budgeting and trying to stop spending we have cut our credit cards up although its me who spends most of the money not my oh.
my bills are always paid every month i never miss a payment most of the time we was paying the minimum payment but we never seem to have any money left once the mortgage is payed and utility bills,we are currently budgeting £10.00 a week for bread,milk patato's as our cupboards are chonged so we are goin to try and live out the cupboards and pay more off out debts.we dont go out that often as we both work different shifts my downfall is spending on stuff i dont need i now leave my bank card at home and only try and carry little money but i am finding it really hard i dont know what wrong with me when i was younger i used to save and wouldnt waste money but i just carnt help it,if any one has got any ideas reducing debt and sticking to a budget i could really use the help please thank you in advance xx

Firstly, well done on having your light bulb moment and realising that things can not continue like this. People overspend for many different reasons, but it is usually because they have an overdraft or credit card and as payments are often paid by card by overspenders, it is a disconnect from real money. If you had £100 quid in your purse and it had to buy your food for two weeks or more, you probably wouldn't be as likely to hand over your hard earned cash on stuff that you have no need of.

Why don't you write a nice long list of all the things you have in your fridge/freezer and food cupboards and then you can devise a menu plan that works with the food you already have in.

All the best.

lemmings1986

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

Why do you keep spending? Does it make you feel good? Do you forget what you've got stashed in the cupboard at home? If you can work out the reasons perhaps you can work towards dealing with this issue. Get your OH to ignore your requests extra shopping until you've used up some of your excess in the cupboard.
Given your busy lifestyle perhaps some quick and easy to prepare meals are in order. That way you're less tempted to buy a sandwich but not standing slaving away over a stove starving hungry Or the other choice is the batch cook, freeze it into portions and voila home made ready meal waiting for you.

The debt free boards have lots of tips, you can post a SOA (statement of affairs on there) and lots of the lovely posters can helpo advise you who you can trim your outgoings allowing you to chuck more money than min payments at your debt.

If you need daily encouragement and are able to post come and join us on the OS Daily thread, we'll be your cheerleaders egging you on the road to OS and debt free life.

yes i think i know the reason i have been with my oh for the past eight years and have been trying for a baby for the last six when finally oct2009 i gt pregnant but after seven weeks had a misscarriage and we have both had numerous tests to discover i have pcos i think i spend because i am lonely what family ive gt live 30 miles away and my oh works opposite hours to me he has tried changing them numerous times but with no success and because i work long hours i dont have time to visit family and my friends were i used to live so majority of the time i am on my own i am not from round here so havnt got many friends i think my spending is down to boredom and the fact we havnt been successful at concieving yet and it is starting to put a strain on out relationship

Bitsy_Beans

lemmings1986 wrote: »

yes i think i know the reason i have been with my oh for the past eight years and have been trying for a baby for the last six when finally oct2009 i gt pregnant but after seven weeks had a misscarriage and we have both had numerous tests to discover i have pcos i think i spend because i am lonely what family ive gt live 30 miles away and my oh works opposite hours to me he has tried changing them numerous times but with no success and because i work long hours i dont have time to visit family and my friends were i used to live so majority of the time i am on my own i am not from round here so havnt got many friends i think my spending is down to boredom and the fact we havnt been successful at concieving yet and it is starting to put a strain on out relationship

Have a hug. Had a m/c myself so know how awful they are. Aside from wanting a family what makes you happy? What do you enjoy doing? I eat when I am bored (I loathe shopping, food or clothes ) and what I need to focus on is doing non food related things to deal with my boredom. Or in fact just accept that I AM bored. It will pass, most feelings do.
I am not sure what counselling is available for you but would it be worth considering it, especially if you're finding it a strain on your relationship?