Dollys' Discombobulated Debt

Gingerjar

Hi Dollyy

Lovely to fiind your new diary, I've subscribed to it and am looking forward to riding in the seat behind you on the Debt Free rollercoaster. You've done really well so far.

Whenever I read your posts, I feel such parallels and can totally empathise with the feeling sick even ringing the bank, feeling ashamed and even thinking I somehow "deserved" the hellish charges and sleepless nights as I was a bad person because I couldn't control my money and spending. Taking control and feeling liberated is a common emotion on this site, and look at what you've done:
Saved money from your salary
Overpaid debt
Saved cash on your food shopping
Become a bit of an earth momma
Sold stuff you didn't need
Not used your credit card for 2 months
Spoken to the bank even though you were scared :eek:

Be Proud of Yourself Doll

See you soon

Ginge x

PS If your son had been made redundant, he may be entitled to some retraining money from his company. Worth asking the HR Dept about this???

dollybeads

Thanks Ginger

As you say its a huge rollercoaster, one moment I am up up and away and the next plummeting to the bowels of the earth. So its very much bipolar at the moment, but trying to keep on track and not to see any set back as the end of the world. I am also one of those sad people who work better at anything when I am under pressure, so by challenging myself this will make me work harder to accrue cash and pay off more.

I am really grateful for people like you sharing their stories with me, it makes me feel less weird all round, I have always struggled with self esteem, although if you asked anyone else they would tell you I am confident and an extreme extrovert, but not the real me. I am underneath quite shy and have struggled constantly with feelings of worthlessness all my life, to compensate for this I have overindulged in a wide variety of things, spending (a biggy for me), eating, extreme exercise, drinking, spending time online!!!!, etc etc you get the picture. This has been my little haven of rewarding myself for feeling so totally crap, and as you say, in the past have not felt worthwhile enough to challenge anything about my own finances. Even now on brink of PPI reclaiming, the old feelings of (what if they discover its me!!) have been plaguing me, have that feeling of they will tell me to go away and not be so stupid as wouldn't pay out to the likes of me. as I am writing this, it looks pathetic but is how I feel from time to time.
Am working on this along with the paying everything off, as I need to crack or it will all have been in vain.

Sorry for the ramble, lovely to hear from you and thanks for all your support and advice over the last month or so, its been invaluable.

Have a great day Ginger

Dolly x

backinbusiness

Hi Dolly

As promised - here I am!!

Sorry you've had the odd wobble - but WELL DONE for not resorting to the plastic in response!!

Had to laugh at your downshift shopping - I am 43 and it had never even occurred to me to look above or below the point of sale to find non-brand versions of my normal shop!! (Although I still can't bring myself to buy the value stuff - why do they have to sell it in such bright yellow packaging at Morrisons?).

Nor had it ever occurred to me that I could haggle with my energy suppliers, etc over how much my monthly DD should be.

I just didn't know these things - and I'm not dumb -honest!

That's what I love about MSE - they take the obvious(!) things and point them out - and give you the impetus to do it yourself.

On the 28th Jan I received my first (post-debt) salary payment that was mine all mine (apart from the normal bills of course - which are all MSE-d to their absolute minimums!) - and like you I thought - why the hell have I not been living this way for the last XX years!

Better late than never Dolly!

Catch up with you soon,

BiB x

dollybeads

Thank you BIB, what an achievement to have your whole salary and not to have to pay any interest on anything or to contribute to any debt. Truly amazing, I hope to be there one day soon, but baby steps at present!

Good luck to you and enjoy every minute of your new DF life, I expect you earned every single moment over the last couple of years getting to DF status.

Best wishes and thanks for your post Dolly x

choogirl

Hi Dolly

As promised on my own diary I have subscribed to yours. I have had a quick read through and the post about you having 4 wardrobes of clothes with boxes on top made me chuckle - wow that is some clothing!

I can also relate to your watch selling comment as well. I have got a beautiful Tag Heurer watch and it is my absolute prize possession, I thought about selling it to clear some debt but then thought hang on I wear it every day and I am so proud of it. It wasn't bought on credit as DH bought it for me with a bonus payment. I wouldn't part with it as to me its a symbol of better times that will come again.

I can also relate to your down shifting at the supermarket, I have also done this and it has made such a difference, and also like you I am guilty of popping back for that forgotten item and spending more than I intended. Its the little steps that we start taking that add up to make a big difference.

I know that you will smash your debts to smitherins as you are so determined and I love the fact that you always try and help others on the forum.

Good luck I will be reading with interest xx

dollybeads

Thanks choogirl

My watch is a tag too! I bought it in duty free on a trip on the way home from holiday one year. Had wanted one for ages but saw it and (not unusual for me in the old days, bought it on my CC). Still i do wear it every day and I love it. So have decided I would need to be on my absolute uppers before I would sell it!

Thank you for your lovely comments about helping others, i just still relate to that whole thing about being paralysed by fear, and feeling so ashamed and guilty and worthless, but no more of that (or not very often at least). Times they are a changing...............well bit by bit anyway.

Thanks for your post, and looking forward to keeping up with you on your journey too.

Have a good evening Dolly x :wave:

Herewego

Glad you are considering the PPI claim or should I say when are you posting the letters, I still have one ongoing from months ago and yesterday I got a letter which said they have told the bank to reconsider so watch this space.
I had a few different responses one cc just agreed and sent me a cheque within days but others required Martins 2nd letter then paid out in full with interest.
Have you any plans on how you are going to make your extra cash and when you are starting as I could do with a kick to get me refocused.

Rock_Cakes

Hi Dolly

Good to read your goals. No doubt we will give you lots of support and you will tick off a few. You are doing so well, coping with a lot of stressful things at the same.

xx

Gingerjar

Hi Dolly

Nice to hear you feeling more positive. Gosh - lots of food for thought on your diary and the things that have been posted.

Interesting the outward extrovert Dolly not matching the inner shy Dolly, again know how you feel and the subsequent external behaviours of trying to cope with this - know exactly what you mean, have done the same things myself. One thing I found that really helped was to realise that to banks/lenders/CC companies I am not a "real" person. They have no loyalty to me so I don't need to have any to them (other than paying off what I owe). So for things like PPI repayments, all they do is look at the facts and don't look at the person behind them so they won't know it's little old you feeling shy. They'll either do it or they won't. And if they won't then you send them Letter 2.

I realised this recently when I have a dispute with a lender about reclaiming for the cost of a holiday with a company that had gone bust. ABTA and the liquidators backed my claim but the credit card company kept disputing it. Pre-MSE I would have given in feeling worthless/hopeless etc but I managed to stay calm and just kept writing them calm assertive letters (most unlike me!). In the end I got my £490 quid back. And then promptly cancelled the credit card - hah! When I rang to cancel and they askied me why, they could not have cared less.

Re the downshift shopping, I know what Backinbusiness means about the Morrisons bright yellow. I always try to hide them under the other stuff! :rotfl:

Hope you have a good day

dollybeads

Thanks Herwego, Rock Cakes and Gingerjar for your posts, today i have achieved a few new things.

Filled out a request for information on an Egg loan I paid off two years ago, I had insurance on this, so hoping I can make a successful claim. Also completed the complaints form for a Loan with Lloyds which included insurance and sent this off today.

I have another claim to make, but am in a quandary and wonder if you nice guys on here might advise me please?

My dilemma is this: I currently have a loan with Lloyds which it took out a year ago. The manager at my local branch has been quite nice to me in helping me to shift my bank account to Lloyds (following a split from my husband). Plus organised this loan as I was really struggling financially after moving out as my husband took my car and I needed one for work. However, on checking the insurance paperwork it states that I said I would not have any income to cover my payments if I was made redundant or was on long term sick leave. This is not true, I said that I would not be able to pay my payments after a year, as I currently have sickness cover from work, and also other insurance that will substitute my salary up to the full amount after 6 months of sick pay from work for another 6 months.

I am just concerned that If I name this person on the complaint that there may be repurcussions. I appreciate I am worrying ahead of anything concrete, but am just feeling anxious that if I put this complaint through, it may impact my relationship at the bank and or my accounts etc. But on another note, I have been thinking about what Gingerjar has said, i.e. maybe the loyalty on lies one way and overall the bank and its employees are looking to protect the banks assets and business. I am sure if things were the other way round, they would have no hesitation in putting in a claim to me. May be I have answered my own questions!!

Do you think i should just put this in and see what happens?

On the downside today, gave my DIL £100 towards the cost of repairing her car today , and did not even receive a thank you, :mad:

My boss at work was in a foul mood and had to deal with 2 very challenging patients today :mad:

Then to top it all, journey home took 3 hours :mad:

However got home and lovely OH had bought me a lovely bottle of wine so enjoying that now, and pleased that I managed to get the paperwork off for two claims today, have had the colly wobbles about this all week!

Have a good evening all and sorry for the ramble, just needed to get it out. Dolly x