maybe not strictly OS but I'd like to ask you guys..

MATH

Hi alex, well at least you have perceived a potential hot-spot in your relationship before you move in together which gives you the opportunity to decide on your plan of action in advance. I say YOU because it is going to be you that has the problem not your partner. He ain't gonna change and neither are you, but whilst he will be happy living in a spotless house cleaned by you or a filthy hovel not cleaned by you, you on ther otherhand will only be happy in a clean enviroment.

You can decide to embark on a life of missery, arguments and bitterness as you try to make him more like you and share the cleaning duties. (I tried that for the first 3 years or so)

or

You can train yourself to be happy living in a filthy muck heap. (I havn't tried that one - my nerves and immune system won't stand it LOL)

or

Accept the fact that to have things how you want them you will have to do most of the work yourself and he probably won't notice one way or the other (welcome to my world LOL)

Good luck!

spaghetti_monster

Hi guys!

Thanks for all your replies!

Math - you're right I think, I want to sort this out before I actually move in and prevent potential arguments.
For about 5 years I shared a flat with a very good friend and about the messiest person I ever met. I decided to turn a blind eye in the end and live with the mess - rather than spend loads of time clearing up after someone else.
Whenever she was away, and since she moved out - I keep everything much tidier. It's like you say Lynz, I can think clearer/work better/feel happier when things are cleaner - I've realised I need that ( especially if working from home).

I think my BF will respond to a bit of gently persuasion and would do a few of the more obvious jobs (he's very sweet about it and like I said I've already talked to him).
I like the ideas about sharing out the chores (and I don't mind doing more, just not all!)
Also when I move in, it might get easier if I apply a bit of OS organisation. For example - he doesn't have a dirty laundry basket and there are clothes lying around here and there (they smell neither clean nor dirty, very puzzling.....) But I think once you have a system in place, these jobs get easier. (is this the fly-lady thing???I don't quite understand it!)

Thanks gooismeid for the advice! I have already had a look at expatica and someone else advised "undutchables" - for getting some part-time work whilst I build up my own stuff.
Did you manage to learn Dutch?? I've been making slow progress with a teach-yourself book but I plan to go to classes when I get there. I know a lot of my BF's friends already but I think this would be a good way to make some of my own!
I already like a massive dollop of mayo with my chips, so no adaptation required for that!

Anyway, thanks again for all the advice!:T

pickle

Employ a cleaner?

gooismeid

I did a bit of book-learning before I went too, and then got lulled into a false sense of security with everyone speaking English (even the staff at the inland revenue and the council offices.... puts Brits to shame). However, I persevered and had to force people to let me speak Dutch at them in order to practise. That was the hardest bit! Classes were definitely beneficial, and now I can claim to be fluent, having lived there for about 8 years. It makes a HUGE difference speaking in Dutch when you come up against stroppy waiters in cafes in Amsterdam!