Don't know what to do!

MrsC....tobe

Ok, so the date has been set, and the initial plans put in place (I know I know, I haven't shared them with you all yet but still can't!).

Last night H2B and I were talking about the wedding and started a guest list. I originally only wanted 40 people during the day including children, but even with the most basic of guest lists it is already sitting at over 50! There are so many people that we want to invite to our ceremony but can't afford to feed everyone afterwards and now I don't know what to do. Going away somewhere with our parents and kids is looking more and more tempting but then we won't be able to do it the way we want.

My other thought is to have the ceremony a little later in the day, and see if the venue would do a meal in the evening buffet style but for the daytime guests, and then just not have an evening buffet at all?

I'm really struggling now. I know it's 18 months away but need to get some kind of plan in place so that we can plan and budget for it.

Help!!!

Phyzelda

I think you either have to be strict with your guest list, or like you say, have a late ceremony and roll straight into the reception, without the sit down meal and have a buffet.

Not sure how the speeches would fit in though:o

MrsC....tobe

That's the thing, that is being strict with the guest list! I have a big family and there's no aunts, uncles or cousins included, just parents, siblings and partners, grandparents, and carefully selected friends!! We both have many old friends that we want to come during the day but have been relegated to evening already
I don't mind not having speeches at all although I know my Dad won't let that one pass! He would relish being able to stand up there infront of everyone and embarass me like he did with my sister all those years ago when it was her turn!

Plans_all_plans

If you honestly cant/wont up the budget then just have a late service and an evening buffet. I think all this sit down meal malarky is a relatively new thing for 'most' people to do. Everyone over 40 at our wedding remarked on how generous we were having a sit down meal and buffet and that they weren't expecting both, even though we got married at 2pm.

ellay864

MrsC....tobe wrote: »

I don't mind not having speeches at all although I know my Dad won't let that one pass! He would relish being able to stand up there infront of everyone and embarass me like he did with my sister all those years ago when it was her turn!

You could always have quite a small intimate daytime do, focussing really just on the ceremony. Our venue can only seat around 36 for the wedding breakfast anyway, but can stretch to a few more for the ceremony so there are some close friends where we're basically saying we'd like them to share the ceremony with us but our wedding breakfast is limited for size and so will be family only. Is that an option for you? I'm sure close friends wouldn't be offended, and you're giving them the chance to join you for ceremony, not insisting they come but then disappear. And then have your evening do with all the speeches - there's no rule that says you can't do speeches later on and there'll be more people for your dad to embarass you in front of then

Kazz81

i know my wedding is different to yours since mine is away, but we are getting married at 4pm and then having the reception from 6pm. Naturally, we aren't having afters ( I would be BEYOND irritated if I got invited to the afters of a wedding abroad!!) so everyone will be fed around 6 and then party for the night.

xtinkersx

I was also hoping for 50 in the day (included in the package) did a tight list and wound up at 70!! cant invite one without the other oh kept telling me!! when i first started planning in 2006 i wanted EVERYONE to be there to see u swed but to do this i was looking at a later wedding and then a hot buffet stil getting all the tables speeches etc just a little bit less on foodbut it actually worked out deaer then we are paying for our package. its so hard though isnt it!! x

Lexxi

Our room only seats 50, we realised we had far more to invite to the evening so we had to get another room for the night time now we can only have 30 to the day as we've booked a very special one of a kind bus to get everyone from the day to the evening which only seats 16 and he's having to do two trips, we aren't inviting cousins or anyones children and the list is still growing!

paulabear

Just thinking the speeches might be more fun after a few drinks anyway, and you'd have had chance to relax into the day and have got the first, more nerve-wracking bit over with - and sure that guests would be really happy to hear the speeches too, plus it would give the evening do a bit more focus? xx

MrsC....tobe

I had a wee think about the guest list and really can't chop it down from what it's at already, although H2B has a couple of friends on it that has kids, so if they will need to bring the children they will be evening only as it will be family only children there daytime and they will all have a special role in the wedding. I don't want anymore children at all in the evening as the kids have a great time but parents and other guests get stressed out with them charging around!
Can't up the budget at all at this time so I'm going to have to hope that a couple of them can't make it unless we change the style of day that we have and go for the later wedding and early buffet.

Plans, not sure where you're coming from with the sit down meal being a new thing. My parents had it all those years ago and I've never been to an all day wedding without there being a sit down meal! I've only ever been to one where there was no evening buffet as that particular venue wanted the bridge and groom to pay £9 (yes NINE) for a bacon roll! They lost out on a fair bit of business that night because of their vastly inflated prices!

Starting to stress with the evening guests too, I have done my side and at the moment the list, including all the daytime guests is at 181!! And that's not including a LOT of people that I would still want there! H2B hasn't done an evening list yet but I can see it being huge! One part of my venue can hold 250 and the other part 300 but no matter what it's gonna be a squeeze!

STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! Me and my old enemy stress don't mix too well!!!!

Lexxi

I was wondering about people not turning up, I'm trying to keep my day list to 30 so it's pretty unlikely people aren't going to turn up, unless it's the bridesmaid or best man! I don't even feel like I can have a reserve list, I think we may have to up the numbers if we can and take our own booze