lazy oh's

bonnie_2

There's been a lot of threads lately, about oh's wanting to pay the op debt of.
I know my answer to this one no: no: no:.
What is your answer and why, if the debts not joint it, dosen't affect you and especially if your not married.
Why do people feel it is their duty to pay other peoples debt of.

loopyloulou_3

i am with you on this one.

My OH has much much more debt than me and thinks that if i become debt free i should take on more of the household bills to ensure he becomes debt free sooner. so therefore me becoming debt free actually makes no difference to my quality of life.

he got himself in it and he has got to get himself out.
if he doesnt learn the hard way he will never learn at all and we will be back in the same situation with me having to bail him out.

so yes i def agree with you on this one!!

bobbadog

It's called love, isn't it. If debt is making your OH unhappy and affecting your relationship, regardless of any joint financial status - it'd make sense to help them as best you can - whether that is advice or money.

lazy&indebt

I agree totally with the OP!! If you get yourself into debt then you should get yourself out of it! Fotunately, I have an OH who is fantastic with money!

vodkabarbie

I think it depends on the reason for the debt and the couples plans!
For example, I'd never ask OH to pay my debts as they actually pre-date hime - they are from my student days! Some of my friends think now we are getting married he should pay them but the idea horrifies me as I don't want to land him with them. I don't think people should pay OH's debts when they are from addictions or frittering money either as settling the debt yourself is part of the recovery.

However if your debt is from spending to support your OH/family in hard times, or doing things together where you paid (eg expensive holidays) or down to a joint financial mistake like a bad house purchase and negative equity, then I think people should share it. Plus I guess if the debtor is doing all they can to clear things and has changed their ways and the OH wants to help out, why not?

chatta

Is it because if you are a couple then what affects one affect the other in the end. Can't help but think that nowdays couples insist on separate accounts and then get big shock when one partner gets into debt the other one wasn't aware of. Or is this debt that was taken on before couples joined up

Mumstheword

we dont have any his n hers finances, only the joint pot. everything goes into that, everything comes out of it

Biddyrolo

Yes, we are the same.

llh189

If my other half needed anything from me I would help, what is the point being in a relationship if one person can afford champayne and the other has to drink sparkling water.

I agree if it is anew relationship bt in my view a serious living together / mortgage / baby should me that things get shared in a blame free way.

Some of the debt I have is because of my two serious longterm relationships, we have all moved on and yet I still have some of the debt my I am not bitter or resentful or wish I had done things differently, my decisions were right at the time.

I hope that my next partner is just as accepting / forgiving as me.

yung

been married for 30 yrs, always had a joint account where my salary (now pension) goes in , we both have seperate account too I have always manage all the finance that is why I am where I am now. debt free, retired, stress free and happy

Barcode

I've been with my partner for three years. Most of my debt is due to being a student. She earns a very reasonable wage, and can afford to help me out without any impact upon her standard of living. It is not an ideal situation, and I wish I could afford to contribute more, but the bottomline is that if she wants us to do certain things, she's going to have to pay for them.

If one person earns significantly more and can afford to help, then I think it is miserly to sit back and say, 'you got yourself into this situation, now get yourself out of it.' That might apply if somebody has been silly enough to run up enormous credit card bills on frivolous items, but there are those of us who have gone into debt just by trying to manage the essentials and pay the bills.

I am very fortunate that my partner does not make me feel guilty and that she is prepared to support me through further study. When I'm earning, I have every intention of treating her to nicer things.