Advice please..

KarleyMarie

I know I should be greatful I have a job but nevermind....


I work in a shop, have worked there for 2 and a half years. Since I have been there an older member of staff has been a right pain in the :mad:. She went for a promotion about a year ago and didn't get it, a 21 year old girl did. Since this she has done nothing but make everyone elses lifes hell, when the main manager isn't around (which is pretty much all the time)

Things came to a head not last week, the one before (22nd? approx) & after having her spend the day yelling at me, making me do her job (covering the assisant manager who was off on hols), and putting me down in front of customers. I decided I'd had enough and put in a complaint including everything that I'd complained about before (verbally) and the incidents from this day. The manager did nothing about my complaint, except tell her one had been made. So obviously she made my life worse...
Anyway comes to Monday last week (28th) and I wake up start getting ready for work and suddenly feel really sick/sweaty/shakey etc etc. Ring in work sick, an hour later I'm fine. This carried on all week. Got to the weekend and felt okay and this woman wasn't working so weekend was absolutely fine. Monday morning comes around and I'm supposed to be working with this woman at 9am. By 9.10 I'm throwing up in the bathroom and having the same sort of sweats/shakey feeling. Get myself down the doctors and he says it sounds like an anxiety attack stemming from her treatment of me.

Spoke to manager etc he feels despite the fact 4 other members of staff complained about her as well (there's only 8 in total anyway..) there is no need for an investigation into her behaviour.

So as it currently stands; my doctors signed me off work until the situation is resolved, my manager is refusing to resolve the situation.

Is there anything I can do apart from keep making myself ill going into work? I would leave if we could afford to live on OH's wages but it's just not possible at the moment..

Any advice would be great, sorry for long post. If anyone wants me to clarify any points just ask, I've rambled a lot!


Karley

DVardysShadow

Get back to work. I know it will be hard. But if you carry on with this, it will reflect on you - you will be seen to be a bad worker and the bit cheese will get away with it even more. If you face up to the strong likelihood that where you are now will result in you losing your job, it becomes a lot easier. There is now very little to lose.

Live dangerously and face her down. If she shouts, don't shout back, in a calm voice just tell her to speak normally. If she puts you down in front of a customer, apologise to the customer "I must apologise to you for the behaviour of my colleague". You need a lot of front to carry it off, but for your own well being in the long term, you need to face her down.

Zazen999

Right - this happens all the time. However, usually 50% of staff complaining about a staff member will usually get a bad manager to get sorting; it would seem that this is not the case here - what a shame. Evidently not enough management skills to manage this one!

Either ALL the staff stand up to the situation; or you have to get yourself back to work and deal with it as above.

I personally would take a small notebook and a watch. Each and every time she shouts/comments etc in a negative way, look at your watch and if it is possible to do so, get out your little notebook and note down what she said and when. If you get ALL the people who have put complaints in [and the others who are too scared to] to do this; it should play with her mind enough to get her to take a step back.

Make sure that you note down each and every time as when needed - this evidence will be invalueable. If asked, you can say that you have been advised to note down each bullying incident [be vague about who has advised you, or just say that you are in the middle of taking 'advice' about this situation] and make sure you use the 'bullying' word in there; as that sounds exactly what is happening here.

At some point; it will come to a head. The aim is to make sure that you have your head held high, don't buckle under the pressure [remember the aim of shouting is to belittle you, and to try and make you look workshy - which is exactly what happens when you then have to stay away from work].

Don't speak to your manager; if you don't get a response in writing from your complaint, then you need to write again and ask what is happening with your complaint. Did you title your complaint 'grievance' and did you follow the grievance procedure? If not, then get a copy and follow it to the letter.

And don't stay away; just hold your head up and walk right back in, and do your work. If she starts anything, look at the watch, don't react, and make a note of exactly what was said and when and what you were doing in order to warrant that particular response.

Remember, if it went to tribunal, this is the evidence that you will give them to prove the situation.

Keep Calm and Carry On.

And also, you might want to keep your eyes open for other jobs....

DVardysShadow

Cracking idea from Zazen. Notepad, watch. I like it. If she asks you about it and you don't quite feel like replying, then don't get pressured. Just smile, finish noting the time and put the notepad away and carry on as normal.

KarleyMarie

I like the notepad idea!

I started the letter:

Dear *Managers name*

This letter has two purposes: to formally submit a complaint, and to put the facts of the situation on record. The subject of my complaint is the treatment I received 23rd June 2010 by my co-worker *WomansName*.

My complaint, in brief, is that *Womans name* has been showing bullying tendencies towardsme on several occasions. The latest event has been extremely distressing. As a result, I have made the difficult decision to make a formal complaint.



I was told this was sufficient? Please correct me if I am wrong.


Going back Monday against the ill feeling was pushing myself and ended up throwing up, as soon as we throw up we're not allowed to stay on-site.


I'm going back Wednesday, with the full support of my assistant manager (back off hols!). Will take a small notepad.

If they keep ignoring it, would I be wrong to go above the managers head?

DVardysShadow

KarleyMarie wrote: »

My complaint, in brief, is that *Womans name* has been showing bullying tendencies towards me on several occasions.

... If they keep ignoring it, would I be wrong to go above the managers head?

I think part of your problem is that you are too gentle. 'Bullying tendancies' is too mild a description. It invites someone to have an interview with you and say 'Bullying tendancies? Now what do you mean by that? Now did she actually bully you or were you just frightened of her?'. And then they get a bit more aggressive and you have been backed into a corner.

Just write "<woman> has been bullying me. On <date> <what she did and said>". Don't pull your punches, don't exaggerate. Once you have made the accusation in writing, it becomes more difficult tobully you out of it.

SarEl

DVardysShadow wrote: »

I think part of your problem is that you are too gentle. 'Bullying tendancies' is too mild a description. It invites someone to have an interview with you and say 'Bullying tendancies? Now what do you mean by that? Now did she actually bully you or were you just frightened of her?'. And then they get a bit more aggressive and you have been backed into a corner.

Just write "<woman> has been bullying me. On <date> <what she did and said>". Don't pull your punches, don't exaggerate. Once you have made the accusation in writing, it becomes more difficult tobully you out of it.

Agreed - don't "pull any punches" (no pun intended). If the employer knows that someone is bullying or harassing another employee, and they do nothing to prevent it, they become legally liable as if they had done the bullying themselves. You therefore want to leave no "wiggle room" for them to say that they didn't realise how serious it was or what was going on.

KarleyMarie

Okay thanks guys..

Will update if necessary

xxxxx

pinkshoes

You need to be precise in the complaint letter, and preferably back up your claim with evidence. If they're anything like the company I work for, then unless you have actual evidence (i.e. a witness, not just your word against theirs), they'll just "sweep it under the carpet" and ignore it!

I love the notepad and watch thing. Just be brave, hold your head up high, and if she asks what you're doing, smile and walk away. Try not to be off sick any more.

RedSoleShoes

I think you should take this higher (above manager's head) to your HR or personnel dept (in head office maybe?). This manager is clearly rubbish as they should take ONE complaint seriously and deal with it so with 4 complaints, they are not doing their job properly by ignoring it. Don't know how close you are to your manager but maybe approach them first and tell them you are taking it higher. If you are not in work anyway then it can't get any worse for you. Staying off sick with anxiety is not going to do you any good physically, mentally, or in the long run for your career. Please speak to your manager again and go above their head if they won't help. You will get called in for an occupuational health meeting evenually anyway if you stay off sick.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, it's not meant to be at you at all, I just think it will get an awful lot worse the longer it goes on.

You have nothing to lose, good luck!

ali-t

KarleyMarie, your story sounds like mine in a previous job. A narky old cow who was peeved she couldn't afford to retire and took out her vile frustrations on everyone in the room. She picked on various people at any given time and I ended up off work sick with stress and anxiety for months. I ended up going back to work against doctors orders as I wanted to tie up loose ends and hand in my resignation as I was offered a job elsewhere.

Don't let this person get you down. Make sure your concerns are documented and passed onto the relevant people and that you keep copies for yourself. I would raise my concerns in supervision with my manager but she never minuted them as the nasty evil clerical woman typed them so I ended up with no evidence that I had raised my concerns with my manager.

Grrrr! I would do it far differently now and would not have let it get as bad as it got before taking action.