Feel like I'm drowning

Tinka21

I'm sorry for posting on here but I'm having such a bad day and I need to let off some steam because at the moment I can't stop crying and feel so depressed I wonder what the point in being alive is when living is such a miserable existence.

I am not working at the moment and am a Stay at home mum and my OH is a self employed taxi driver. We have got two very young children and when I was working it wasn't worth it as the childcare and travelling expenses took most of the money i earned.

Taxi driving is not bringing in much money at the moment, probably around £100 - £150 a week after expenses for around 70 hours work and with rising fuel prices the amount he makes is going further and further down.

We can't afford to pay our mortgage and are about £2k in arrears so i'm expecting them to repossess soon and the council have said they won't be able to help rehouse us as we will have made ourselves homeless by not paying the mortgage. There is no way we will be able to rent private as we will never pass a credit check.

The mortgage company keep putting us on a payment plan but we can never make a payment anywhere near what they want.

I'm fed up of not being able to afford food and having to scrimp all the time. I can't buy the kids shoes and clothes when they need them.

I feel like the worse mum in the world because I can't even provide properly for my kids and they deserve so much better.

We have got loads of debts that we are simply just not paying anymore because we struggle to pay for the normal household stuff as it is. I can't even offer token payments because the money is simply not there to offer.

I'm fed up of keeping up a pretence to my family that everything is okay all the time as I know they would be disgusted by this situation.

I'm sorry for posting but I really did not know where else I could get this off my chest without somebody knowing who I am.

DarkConvict

Chin up, You need to put yourself and your family before you debts.

Your OH should consider alternative employment, at 70 hours a week that is nearly 2 fulltime jobs, he might be better off on min wage vs self employeed!

To gauge where thing are, post up an SOA. If things are so far down the line then you could consider bankruptcy to relieve the stress of debt and at least keep 30% of your surplus income after 'reasonable' living allowence - http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

3Dogs

Hi tinka, you have come to the right place - you will get the best advice and masses of support - well done for posting

Firstly, read Martin's Guide on dealing with debt "debt help plan" this will help you to complete a SOA (statement of affairs) on here - people who wish to help will then be able to see what the poblems are - and it will help you to now exactly where you stand

It will also direct you to one of the free debt advisor services - CCCS, CAB or NationalDebtline - you will need to contact them to discuss your situation and see what options are available to you

You should go the www.nationaldebtline.co.uk whree you can insert all your details and it will come up with advise without talking to anyone

Good luck - and chin up Pet

RAS

Tink

Hugs.

This situation is not viable but you plainly need help ASAP.

Are you claiming Working tax credit?

Re the Council, they tell just about everyone they are not eligible BUT a lot of the time, actually they are when push come to shove.

And there are quite a lot of landlords who do not make credit checks, so you will find somewhere privately even if you need LHA to fund it.

dors1

Hi Tinka

I'm not an expert at all...but there are lots of friendly non-judgemental people on here who will give you great advice.

Really sorry to hear you and your family are having such a horrible time - have you checked that you are in receipt of all the benefits that you may be entitled to?

You are not the worst mum in the world; you are all just going through a really rubbish time at the moment.

Do have a chat with one of the free debt advisor services as others have suggested.

Butti

Hello Tinka,

Sorry to hear about how you are feeling and how difficult things are for you at the moment. You will get lots of good advice and help on here but first I think you need to understand exactly what is going on with you and your children.

When children are very young they don't actually need much to be mentally and physically healthy. They don't need new shoes or new clothes - these can come from hand-me-down's or charity shops. What they do need is food, shelter and above all to feel safe and secure. The last bit is really important and is what you are doing very well, provided you don't get too stressed about the situation you are in (easier said than done!) In 10 or 20 years time when all this is a distant memory they aren't going to tell you how their first memory was of not getting a pair of shoes.

I also think there is a world of difference between finding yourself behind in your mortgage and making yourself intentionally homeless.

I'd just like you to give yourself a break and stop beating yourself up.

Big hug,

B

Tinka21

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet
Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 2
Number of cars owned.................... 1
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 0
Partners monthly income after tax....... 600
Benefits................................ 700
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1300
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 400
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 490
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 106
Electricity............................. 70
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 38
Telephone (land line)................... 11
Mobile phone............................ 50
TV Licence.............................. 12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 60
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 100
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 0
Road tax................................ 17
Car Insurance........................... 194
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 50
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 15
Contents insurance...................... 10
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Coal.................................... 40
Total monthly expenses.................. 1663

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 82000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 2500
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 84500

Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 68000....(400)......4
Secured Debt.................. 10000....(169)......15.9
Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 7000.....(206)......0<
Hire Purchase..................2500.....(115)......0
Total secured & HP debts...... 87500.....-.........-
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Barclayloan....................280.......40........0
AMEX...........................700.......17........0
Dell...........................400.......31........0
Close Assistance...............4500......35........0
Egg............................1800......50........0
barclay card...................3000......70........0
ge money.......................5500......140.......0
Total unsecured debts..........16180.....383.......-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,300
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,663
Available for debt repayments........... -363
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 383
Amount short for making debt repayments. -746
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 84,500
Total HP & Secured debt................. -87,500
Total Unsecured debt.................... -16,180
Net Assets.............................. -19,180

Tinka21

Thank you for your replies.

My SOA doesn't include all debts because there are some that I have no idea the amounts involved as they are OH's but he is not paying anything off them at the minute.

RAS

Hi what are the two hire purchase debts for?

RAS

Tink

You need to separate out your hubbies business costs and your household expenditure. Can you do that?

Are you rdecaling his takings or his net income for benefit purposes?

You also need to cnacell the satellite TV now.

Tinka21

HP: 1 is for the car that is OH's taxi and it has got 2 and a half year left to run.

The second was a caravan we had but got stolen but still have to pay for it and that has got 10 more payments left.

I use the net income for the tax credits claim.

I haven't used any of OH's expenditure except for insurance at £194 pm and the car finance payment but that is in my name and not his.

He has to pay for things like his fuel and rent to the taxi firm which is £84 a week.