ex's part

cabsy83

hi,
My ex and I have 2 kids together and we currently have a private arrangement whereby he pays me £340 a month in maintenance, and he would get shoes etc when needed. This was a figure he told me he could afford and I accepted that when it was set in october 2008 when our second child was born. He is in a good job and earns around £30k a year and I don't want him to be penniless obviously! The thing is he never has the kids, he goes months at a time without seeing them so therefore there are no 'extras'. He has also moved his new partner into his home who is now paying half his mortgage. She is also in a good job and earns around £25k. I have asked him for a voluntary increase but he shrugs it off and even told me he was considering going part time and doing a course so my money would be going down anyway! So now I'm considering making an application to the csa because I'm really struggling to make ends meet. Does anyone have any advice on how the transition would work and also would his new partners income be taken into account?

Caz3121

His new partners income would not be taken into account - they would look at a straight 20% of his net income ... so around £377 per month based on £30k..it may be less if he pays into a company pension

shell_542

What Caz said. If he is paying into a pension it might be less than £377 a month.

kelloggs36

You have got a very good deal - don't push it or you may get nothing!! Honestly, there are many PWCs who have ex's who pay nothing or will go to great lengths to pay nothing. You are extremely lucky.

Found_true_love

cabsy83 wrote: »

hi,
My ex and I have 2 kids together and we currently have a private arrangement whereby he pays me £340 a month in maintenance, and he would get shoes etc when needed. This was a figure he told me he could afford and I accepted that when it was set in october 2008 when our second child was born. He is in a good job and earns around £30k a year and I don't want him to be penniless obviously! The thing is he never has the kids, he goes months at a time without seeing them so therefore there are no 'extras'. He has also moved his new partner into his home who is now paying half his mortgage. She is also in a good job and earns around £25k. I have asked him for a voluntary increase but he shrugs it off and even told me he was considering going part time and doing a course so my money would be going down anyway! So now I'm considering making an application to the csa because I'm really struggling to make ends meet. Does anyone have any advice on how the transition would work and also would his new partners income be taken into account?

Just some quick questions, do you know what the £340 a month goes on?

DO you have a mortgage? are you living alone with your children? do you work more than 16 hours a week?

There are many way you could increase your "income" but it depends on your circumstances and the answers you need depend on wht your situation is.

And I agree with Kellogs you are in a good position with regard to what your ex pays you, that he doesn't want to see his kids is down to his own desicion, (not a good one IMO but hey ho), dont confuse your financial position (not good as you declare) with his responsibilities to maintain your and his children. My wife raises her two children (11 & 14) on £240 per month from her ex.

She puts it in a totally separate account from our joint account and any time they need something she takes it from that pot, so unless you are wasting money, spending it needlesley, or maybe you have taken out some loans that you are now having to pay, then I cant see how you cant cope with the £340 CHILD maintenance that your ex is paying.

Sorry if I sound like I dont care but financial responsibility starts with you being able to manage the money you have and thats what this forum is all about saving money, so first step isd too look at your finances to see where all your money is going.

mums_got_no_pennies

Dont get a penny from my ex for our 2 children,still waiting for their xmas presents too,so i would count myself lucky if i were in your position.i wouldnt push him for more as then you may really not be able to make ends meet.Unortunately its the parent that brings up the children on their own that has to have a major lifestyle change,but you do what you have to do and adapt IMHO.

DUTR

Cabsy as the others have suggested , you are on a very good deal, if the ex is on about £30 gross, he's prolly due to pay about £343 per month for 2 children via the csa.

speedster

also worth considering that once you set the fascist little wolves on him all of the voluntary extras he pays for will dry up. gauranteed.

don't forget too, that once the children grow up, you'll have to survive without any of his wages.

a lot of pwc just see the ex as a gravy train, and when it hits the buffers, they're screwed.

a mate of mine has just stopped paying his ex as their youngest has just turned 18 and is working full time. she went ballistic cos she cant pay her bills and started waffling about how she was gonna sue him!! :rotfl:

seriously though. i would seriously look around these froums and read some of the horror stories on here and you'll realise you're actually very lucky. involving the csa will more than likely throw a spanner in the works, jeopardise any ammicability with the ex and more than likely leave you worse off in the end.

ask my ex. she's stewing on a fiver a week.

Found_true_love

DX2 wrote: »

:rotfl:
My 14 year old son has just started a paper round, he earns more than his "father" pays in child support insert rolleyes smilie.

Oh dear I feel another fight with speedster comming on........my moneys on speedster:beer:

DX2

Found_true_love wrote: »

Oh dear I feel another fight with speedster comming on........my moneys on speedster:beer:

Oh grow up.

speedster

on gaurd DX2.

puddem up! puddem up!!