i think it's time

milliejon

Hiya and welcome.

Try entitledto.com to work out what benefits you might get when you go to college.

I would also ask your nephew to contribute (if he's old enough of course).

I'm sorry if this is being too nosey, but I get the feeling that you haven't spoken to your partner about your worries.

bikerqueen

my council tax in norwich is 90 quid per month, which I think is relatively cheap. however, even allowing for £130 council tax that means your water is £70 a month? Is there any way of discussing this with the council to double check that it's right?

Did Husband help spend the money? then he needs to help cut it back, and that takeaway bill is mental.

Son needs to visit girlfriend? Son then needs a job I was working from 15, as were nearly all my friends.

Do you have sky? Is it in your name? cut it off then. Moaning? tough.

I suppose the hardest decision is, is now the right time to go back into education? Without the support of your family you may well find yourself sinking

Well done on getting to this point, I hope support here makes up a little for the lack of it at home.

elantan

hi everyone , thanks again for the advice if i can just give some answers to the questions asked first as i'm not really good at the p.c so it takes me ages by the last time i wrote a reply i noticed more had responded so i take ages to catch up sorry, for liuhut thanks for the thought i no longer need the endowment for the mortgage (as with all endowments it was losing money) i changed it to a savings plan i phoned about 6 months ago to find out it's value but it was penuts compared to what i paid into it so was thinking just keeping it on till it maturesthat way i get at least £20,600 (although i'm still on short fall ) but if things don't improve then yup it will have to be cashed in ther's no doubt about it ..for lynz power thanks for the advice i totally agree with the gas and electricity being too expensive i'm not in arrears i pay monthly, and have added extra insulation etc but i think it's my boiler that's the problem it's atleast 20 years old falling apart and inorder to heat the water i have to have it on for atleast an hour ( no instant hot water for me ) i think plenty of money is wasted that way it really annoys me and i know i need to replace the whole thing but that's gonna cost and right now i just don't think we have it ..i totally agree with you all about the take aways they will have to go or be severly cut back it just can't go on the food bill being £150 is for 3-4 depending on the nephew if he's at hoime or not that night..the isa's is our holiday fund we only go camping to free sites and burn wood for fires etc but we try and visit places while we are away the £600 a year saved in the isa's do us for the full summer ( we go away on average 3 weeks in the year) i'm scared that i didn't even add in dentists or prescriptions etc the fact the hubby has high blood presure and needs one every month makes me even more scared.. as for the nephew that is a long story he's 24 doesn't pay any dig money but does make sure my son get's to school ( his school is 45 min away in the car) he also takes him rock climbing white water rafting and pays for him to go to the pictures when they go (usually once a week) pays for my son to go to lazer quest basically he saves us a fortune just living with us.... he's barely home as he works with the local youth club as well as having a full time job and often will buy my hubby a take away or drink ..so i can't complain about him at all really ....millie jon i will deff look up what i'm entitled to i always thought that my hubby's wage would mean i get nothing (it always has in the past) he does know about the situation but is in denial

elantan

wow that was long sorry about that

elantan

bikerqueen (love the name) yup the hubby helped spend it and pays most of it through his wages the problem i think with him is he still thinks he's earning his old wage so thinks he can live like it ...i was tempted to give him the reins of the finances for a month but i couldn't even imagine the state they would be in after the month.... i think i have two kids sometimes ..i was playing ostrich he still is basically ...but thanks to the support i've had today i feel more able to tackle him head on ...somethings gotta go ..as for the son getting a job we've had this discussion so many times ..he wants to get a job but i've been saying no ...he's dyslexic so studying takes him so much longer than non dyslexic kids....between the gf the ju-jit-su singing etc i din't want him to slide with his studying he's 15 just now sitting his gcse's next year and while he's doing good (i can't complain at all really) i don't want him to loose it all for a job so we sat down and he told us what was important to him where he wanted to go with his life etc. that's how we came up with the pieces to school and the money saved would let him save for a night out with the gf and the singing lesson ...but as i sadi earlier i think that will have to come back up for discussion soon

jesster_2

Hi Elentan, welcome to MSE

You're going to have to get the family behind you if you want to make a big impact on these debts. I don't mean to sound harsh, but it's not acceptable to say 'can't change the phone cus my son uses it all night'. Think back to when we were his age: you certainly didn't sit on the phone all night, and if you were told to get off you got off! You're the boss here.

And re the electricity / gas: you can definitely reduce that, even with a cronky old boiler. I have a cronky old boiler much like yours (so rubbish you can't even have the radiators and water on separately but have to go round switching the radiators off individually!) but there's no need to pay that much. It just takes a bit of thinking... do you need it to come on for an hour or is the water still hot from last time? mine goes on for an hour first thing and for an hour late afternoon. Often, if everyone's been quick in the shower in the morning we don't need it to come on in the afternoon and can skip that. Or if no one's had a bath in the evening then the water's still hot for showers in the morning without having to come on again. You can definitely reduce this. Mine's max £30 a month. Also - check that you're on your cheapest supplier by comparing your bills at uswitch or similar.

Re takeaways: try doing a snowball calculator to work out how much more quickly your debts will clear with that extra £150 a month. This is a lot of money! If you can't wipe them out altogether then at least reduce it by a min of £100 a month.

wannabedebtfreebeth

Just a thought about the endowment - I know they are not worth much cashed in but they can be sold on for quite a bit and as yours will be worth so much then it might be worth looking into that.

elantan

jesster thanks for the advice re...heating i have changed supplier recently but me thinks i can do better now that a few of you have mentioned it i thought it was not bad ( shows you what i know) i knew it was expensive but thought as i was saving something then it was better (if that makes any sense) as for the phone thing you are totally right we didn't get to stay on the phone all night did we what do you mean by a snowball calculator though can't think what you mean by it ..i'm thinking takeaways down to no more than £50 a month from now on ...and you are toally right you need your family backing you like both oopsadaisy and you have both said ...i think that has been where my biggest failing is thanks again

liuhut

have a look on here for the snowball calc. Not sure if its the best but I think that they all do more or less the same thing???

http://www.whatsthecost.com/snowball.aspx

elantan

just used that site interesting to say the least ...i'm learning alot today