Any ideas - parents can't decide

Half_pint_4

Hi all

Looking for a bit of advice.

To cut a long story short, my niece's mom moved away and my niece went to live with her dad rather than move away with her mom. This relationship has broken down so my niece has come to live with us rather than going in to care.

Her mom has asked how much we want to maintain my niece as she has no idea and dad has said he wants a figure and will decide if he is willing to pay this.

SS are involved and have said it is a private arrangement so they will not pay anything but cannot give any ideas of the amount we should be asking for.

How much should I be asking for her upkeep (she is 12) as I want to be able to cover the cost (we can't afford to keep her without financial support for her) but I do not want to look like I am doing it to "make money" and my niece's dad does not want to be "ripped off"!

Loopy_Girl

The CSA rulings state that an NRP (non resdient parent) should pay 15% of their salary for a child for their maintenance.

As there are 2 NRP's then I would be asking each of them for 15%.

The Dad would not be getting 'ripped off' (sounds like a nice man:rolleyes:) and you would get the financial help you need.

Are either of them on benefits? If so then the CSA rulings would state a flat rate of £5pw.

Half_pint_4

Thanks for the info Loopy Girl.

Neither of them are on benefits but niece's mom is officially bankrupt

marksoton

Half_pint wrote: »

Neither of them are on benefits but niece's mom is officially bankrupt

Thats irrelevant. They chose to have a child and now both of them should provide financially. I must admit it is quite beyond me why neither of them is looking after the child. I will say nothing further as i don't know the circumstances.

tsstss7

I worked out recently that my ds1 (also 12) costs me about £85 /wk to feed clothe etc although that does include music lessons and bus fare to school each week that possibly your niece won't need. (so that leaves £65/wk)

I'd say minimum £50.00/wk if its just for food and clothes and then ask them to pay seperately for school trips etc and any extras she may need. Or perhaps a bit more to cover everything.

edited to add that ds 1 does not nec. get everything that he wants if that was the case it would be a whole lot more!!!

craftygranny

My niece came to live with me and i claimed child benefit and tax credits for her which helped a lot. As for what her parents should pay check out the csa website and then ask them for what seems reasonable to you taking things like school trips which can be expensive etc into account.

NACSA_CHAIR

I would agree with LG - use the CSA guidelines to know what you are legally entitled to, ie 15% of each of their wages, and try to keep all parties on good relationship so that the arrangement can be kept private and keep CSA out of it.

dtc04

NACSA_CHAIR wrote: »

I would agree with LG - use the CSA guidelines to know what you are legally entitled to, ie 15% of each of their wages, and try to keep all parties on good relationship so that the arrangement can be kept private and keep CSA out of it.

I agree with this, I have two children with different Fathers (both from serious relationships 5 years apart dont know why I feel the need to explain it I just do! )

dd1 I tried for a long time to have a private arrangement it didnt work and I had to get the csa involved, and he did his best to avoid paying

dd2 we have a private arrangement he chooses to pay 25% of his income and buys things on top of this, he pays the money on time, and there is no hassle.

If I could choose I would never deal with the csa again. I have talked to some very helpful people but a few of them have been a complete nightmare. My personal favourite was the woman who just kept chanting "its gone clerical" at everything I said and wouldn't even explain what that meant! She didnt say anything else during the entire conversation, but to be fair five minutes later a very helpful woman rang me back, but the number of times Ive been told someone will ring you back with in five days and no ones rang is unbelievable.

ekkygirl

I would say £60pw for board and the Child Benefit for incidentals (toiletries and the like) ect. I see what you are saying about not making money and think this would be a fair amount. My girl costs me more than this but pester power has a big influence on that. Neice should still be able to get pocket money etc from parents who should still be supportive. It is a great thing you are doing for your niece, Well Done.

ps. The parents should pay for school trips piano/dancing/horseriding lessons.

daska

Apply for Child Benefit and Tax Credits now if you haven't already done so. You are legally entitled to them but it might take some time to get them into payment if one of her parents is already claiming

As to maintenance, I would start by quoting the CSA guidelines and, whilst I wouldn't advocate using the CSA if you could possibly avoid it, if he is difficult then you could get them involved. If he knows this is a possibility he may be less inclined to mess you around.

Donedoingdebt

tsstss7 wrote: »

I worked out recently that my ds1 (also 12) costs me about £85 /wk to feed clothe etc although that does include music lessons and bus fare to school each week that possibly your niece won't need. (so that leaves £65/wk)

I'd say minimum £50.00/wk if its just for food and clothes and then ask them to pay seperately for school trips etc and any extras she may need. Or perhaps a bit more to cover everything.

edited to add that ds 1 does not nec. get everything that he wants if that was the case it would be a whole lot more!!!

Don't forget though, that the NRP's child support payment is meant to be a contribution towards the cost of the child, not the whole amount.

In my opinion, if a child costs you £65 per week, surely a reasonable contribution would be 50% of that figure, ie £32.50? Plus of course, any further contribution towards "events" that is agreed between the 2 parents.

Having said that OP, I'd go along with LG & NACSA CHAIR & go for 15% of both the parents' net income as that is what the CSA would come up with & therefore, there should be no comebacks on either parents or yourself.