Don't be scared to cut the cost!

lindaatno9

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debtfreein4years

thats good advice but when its your parents running riot with the wedding plans and footing most of the bill then you dont really get much of a say.

my wedding has gone from small intimate church wedding, photos, bus to reception straight into evening do and buffet with dress from landy and oh uniform being made to the following.

church wedding, photos, bus to reception, drinks, semi formal sit down buffet, evening do, bacon/sausage sarnies (im insisting on this one instead of a later buffet), dj, dress from shop, bouqet of flowers for me, oh uniform being made.

the cost has more than trippled. the first i had budged 3K as my reception venue is mega cheap but lovely and now my parents have told me to budget more like 10K still keeping the same venue and photographer who is a friend and is doing it for cost.

it is absolute madness and a waste of money for just one day.

gxx

lindaatno9

So do you feel pressured things are out of your control?
We were very lucky when we married. We had friends only. No family except our children. 14 guests including us. Married in a beautiful country pub on the banks of a river. As Frank Sinatra said, we did it our way and have never regretted it for a moment.

weeclick

sounds really nice Lindaatno9! I am doing a wedding at the end of this month with only 20 guests, its the smallest thats been booked since my company opened in January this year, and Im really looking forward to it - all these other weddings with 100-300 people scare the hell outa me!

debtfreein4years

things definetly feel out of control. but im not going to sweat the small stuff as if parents are paying for most of it then ok. the only things i am going to put my foot down on is the dress and shoes and the guest list.

the rest of it doesnt bother me as at the end of the day its getting married that counts and if my parents feel the need to show off and have a big party then thats up to them and i will go along with it as it doesnt really matter to us.

gxx

*Louise*

I haven't had any pressure at all. Couple of comments at the start questioning the lack of some 'traditional' aspects, but once I made it clear (very nicely!) that I wanted things done my way, I was left to get on with it - both sets of parents even gave us some money towards the wedding, and all they have requested is 2 extra guests each.

Our original budget was 3k, and it is ending closer to 4k - but for the amount of stuff we hve going on, I am really pleased.

In all honesty - if I had 16k to spend on anything I wanted - I would still choose the wedding I am having and would use the rest of the money to pay off some of the mortgage :rotfl:

Horace

Well said Linda...I couldnt have put it better myself.

I can remember my own wedding back in 1987, the guest list was limited to close family and friends, it was a registry office do, it didnt cost much either and being very MSE I went and bought a dress that I could wear again - I have worn it several times since for anniversary dinners etc. No meringuey type things for me. I had what I wanted...and my parents did have a huge party at home afterwards, it was their chance to invite their chums round.

I always thought that small was beautiful - who wants to book Westminster Abbey and have loads of hangers on whom you are never going to see again?

IWantToBeFree_2

I think forums like this have a lot to answer for as well (well maybe not MSE because its more about saving money than spending it)... I will be completely honest, before I came onto this forum, I had never even heard of wedding favours and a variety of other things!

I see my wedding as a day to marry the man I love, not a day to spend thousands upon thousands throwing a lavish party for people who I may not even like!

lindaatno9

I totally agree. Sometimes it's a kind of "peer pressure." It happens on every level. "The woman up the road is having favours. I should have favours then really shouldn't i? I don't want to be seen as a skin flint!"

It depends totally on your budget and what you an can afford. As I said, have anyone been to a wedding where there were favours and said thanks, or even where there haven't been any and thought what a tight a$$?
I think it's conditioning yourself. It's like kids parties. Who the hell invented a party bag? They are like the window to your soul and you get judged on their contents. People you invite to your wedding should deserve to be there. Some parents who stump up major costs seem to think it's ok to invite all and sundry because they are paying. But, hang on. What about the 2 people that the day is really all about?
Weddings should be the happiest day of your life, but all to often are overshadowed by the wedding politics!