Miss KJ's, "Actually I will have it all" with brass knobs on, Diary.

hypno06

Personally, I go for the "do all you can to hang on to your house" method. I know plenty of people that have told me that I would be better off renting etc.....but I tried renting for a year, and I felt quite "nervous" of not having that asset of a house I could call my own.

At the end of the day I will own my house to have that security - I can sell it later if need be, I can give it to my children, but I have choices and for me that is worth a lot.

BUT, it is your decision - if you feel more in control by not having the mortgage, then who am I to criticize!

shaun40400

hi MissKJ
if you can at all hang on to it do so!!!
i have to properties and land in eastern europe
cost me around €25k five yrs ago
now worth around €80k
however maintenance, heating eth cost us €100 a month
money we really could do with now as im on pension and oh can only work part time cus of my disabilities..
our aim over the next 3/5yrs is to save €25k
and put it down as a deposit for a house and business..

if we sell or had sold i think those plans would have disappeared

taxi73

I agree hang on if you can.Is your plan sustainable?..I'm sure you'll make whatever is the best deciscion for your circumstances.

angela110660

Definitely - do your utmost to stay where you are - the peace of mind of your own place - not a landlord's must be immense.

MissKJ

Thanks peeps, you are all just confirming what i know deep down. I am going tolook at my budgets with fresh eyes, and do a new SOA. see if we can make things feel a little better. I have pinched an idea from MOVE TO PORTUGALS blog, where she describes having budget meetings with her OH. My OH just gets on my nerves getting depressed then asks for something we cant afford to "cheer him up". He doesnt play any part at all in managing finances and all the pressure is on me. This has to change if we are to stick to our goals. I am going to speak to my lenders this week and see if we can get some fleibility. I unfortunately went onto a fixed rate which is much higher than current interest rates before they dropped.

angela110660

Budget meetings are def the way to go. We have one at the start of "our month" to see where we ended up and what we have going forward and maybe in the last week a brief one before the end of "our month". Works so well and focusses our minds and keeps us on track.

MissKJ

Yes, I haven warned him that the meetings may have to be weekly at first to get the regime "bedded in" with us all. He hates all this, but it feels much worse when you aren't in control, and that is where he is right now. You know sometimes, just sometimes, I actually enjoy the whole budgetting thingy, when I can feel some progress in both debt reduction and lifestyle. Bit mad eh?

angela110660

Not mad at all Miss KJ - we spent years living up to our monthly income and scrapping round when things came out of the blue - y'know school trips and the like. Then MSE came into our lives and that ended all that. Credit cards went, budgets were set up, Xmas and Birthdays were budgeted for monthly and we have never been so well off all our married life - we still have a mortgage being paid but that is not an issue.
Once you start this budgeting lark - it gives you such a buzz - we never buy things for the home or whatever without talking about it - it saves lots of anxiety as you never have to hide something and makes our relationship much stronger. Enjoy being "mad" - you know it makes sense!!

MissKJ

Good morning. Today I am decorating (mostly using up decorating stuff which is littering the garage) and will have to buy a few things. But the aim is to get all that stuff lying around for jobs used up. And hopefully onceI have painted the skirting boards and ceiling, I will prepare a budget for a budget meeting with OH tonight. It is going to be a tough one, as I know we have spent some of the mortgage money this weekend, but we still have a week to claw it back fom somewhere.

As always, I am going to balance every bit of "bad" news with some "good". Both our cars passed the MOT on saturday, mine cost £15 for a clip? I can live with that!

shaun40400

sometimes its sooooooooooo hard
great ideas you've listed here ,,,especially the meetings and especially as your oh is depressive
it will be hard to get through to him without it sounding like its a personal attack on him!!
the wanting to buy things is part of being depressed,,,
i know i was that man,,,just dident have debts then..
what i/we did was
did my personnel monthly budget....we then added in 5euro
and my job was to save up to 20 euro a month to treat myself to some little thing
dvd,,,magazine,,,take family to coast by train and get chips and coffee..
hope this helps somehow

ps
like the positive news bit as well