Help! Really don't know what to do!

zoska

Hi There!

Great site & forum. I desperately need some help and advice and I hope this is the correct section of the forum to be doing it (first time poster!).

I am married with 2 children & 3rd due 2nd Sept (unplanned!!).

My debts are:

Consolidation loan: AA Loans about 6% APR £15K (£13251.96 & 4.5 years left) in husband's name although I am paying. Used to pay off lots of odds & sodds.
Overdraft: £2K Lloyds TSB
Barclaycard: £5.5K paying minimum repayment & have been on arrangement of £100 per month for 12 months but this has now finished & they want more !
Lloyds TSB Platinum: £6.5K-was in arrangement for 6 months, again paying minimum.
Mortgage: £89K fixed rate to Sept 07 about 5.7% in my name only!!!
School fees: £800 per month
Joint account: Barclays £2K overdrawn.


Basically my income is eaten up by contribution to household account, school fees & paying back my husband. I juggle all the time and just about have enough left to cover diesel & car insurance.

My salary is paid into a basic Abbey account with an Electron card so no overdraft etc.

I have started taking lunch to work every day, cut my mobile phone bill & cancelled any unnecessary household expenses. Have even started looking at the prices of groceries in supermarket before buying. Utilise local market for buying friut & vegetables.

I own my car outright which is worth about £9-10K although I have to have a reliable form of transport as my job involves commuting between Uxbridge, Milton Keynes & Northampton-train is very time-consuming & there are no direct routes. Also public transport is pants where I live!

I believe I am doing everything I can. My problem is that I can't move my daughter out of private school as the local school is dreadful. She is only due to be there another 2 years until she transfers to the state system. My husband pays the nursey bill for my DS which is the equivalent to the fees.
He earns about the same as me.

I don't know whether to increase the mortgage on my own, sell/downgrade the car, move house to get to a better state school, ask my husband to get 0% rate cards for the credit cards (I have a poorish credit rating) or what!!!! Husband has said yes to getting his name on the mortgage so 2 names are better than one. Building society have ageed in principle to suspend mortgage payments for up to 6 months (will utilise this from Sept when on maternity leave-will not get anything except Mat Allowance (£108 per week as haven't been in job long enough!). Husband has small balance on credit card, owns car outright, no loans except for the one that he got for me & I think about £3K in savings (rainy day he says!!!!). He also grows veggies.

Job is temp at the moment & will probably go perm. I work through lunch breaks to get paid extra hours.

Sorry it's a bit long winded but I'm really stuck. What do you guys suggest???

Thanks for reading & I hope to get some feedback!

Sophie

loubie_lou

Sorry if I sound out of turn and tell me off if i'm wrong but your husband doesn't seem to playing a big role in this! Its all you you you!

How much do you and your husband earn? Surely with a baby on the way your finances should be united so to speak?
It may help us also if you state ALL your imcomings and outgoins such as utilities, council tax etc etc then we may be able to see where you could cut down further!

Welcome to MSE :beer:

southernscouser

Sorry I'm a little confused aswell!

The mortgage is just in your name! Does this mean hubby isn't paying it aswell? Also what are you paying him back?

And not being nosey but you didn't state how much you earn?

Can you also give us APR's for all the other debts?

SS

lynzpower

Its also unclear what your salaries are? Yeah a SOA would be best to see how we can help!

You say you need a relaible car to get around. My parents last week bought a 18months old Ford Focus for 2k. Its got nothing wrong with it, and runs like a dream and parts and MOTs with fords are cheap? What about cashing your car in and getting something that wont depreciate?

Good luck
Lynzx

zoska

I think this is where half the problem is!!

He's as stubborn as anything & thinks that my debts, my problem & that by having a loan in his name that I am paying is enough!

We both earn £32k each which is about £1900-£2000 take home.

Breakdown: £700 each (£1400) which covers mortgage (in my name only bit he pays too) groceries, phone inc. broadband, council tax, buildings/contents insurances, sky, life assurance/critical illness (to cover mortgage).
He pays nursery: £700 per month & then remainder is his to spend.
I pay school: £800 (she is not his daughter by the way her dad died although we have been married 5 years!)
Also pay his loan to me: £300.

What's an SOA?


Any suggestions????

southernscouser

SOA is a state of affairs!

Have a look at this thread for a guide. The more detail you give us the more we can help you!

Bestthingsinlifearefree

Hi Zoska,

I think you and your husband need to have a chat about finances in marriage.

You say your income is "eaten up by paying back your husband".

How can your husband be happy to see his wife struggling in her finances and think tough luck thats her problem nothing to do with me.

I always thought marriage was TOGETHER in sickness in health for RICHER or POORER.

If you lost your job and had no income. Would he expect you to starve ?


My wife and I. Whats my money is hers and vice versa. If I earn 2K and she nothing we both have equal say other what we do with the finances and if she earned 2K per month and me nothing it would be the same.

My debts are her debts and her debts are my debts,my savings are her savings and her savings are my savings.

If she is worried about money then it is my worry to.

Anything either of us would spend over £100 we would consult the other about out of respect (except surprise Birthday presents etc etc)

We are one team, together. we get rich together , we get poor together and we would not want it any other way.

Sorry to go off on one but your OH attitude seems odd to me and you sound like you need a heart to heart with him and tackle this together.

....but hey what do I know I guess I am just an old fashioned happily married 33 year old bloke !!!

Good luck !!

mom23

Hi zoska
I don't really understand this either!!
All our debts are joint debts. our income is joint income.
I also think you need to try and sit down with your husband and talk it through! ( might be easier said than done!!)
I think it's unfair that you are struggling with this on your own.

Anyway (((Big Hugs))) cos i think you need them.

magentadreamer

I think you and hubby need to sit down and discuss financial matters ASP.It's a question of this being a join effort.

You both are on a decent income abet yours is a temp contract -are you sure they'll make it permananent now that you're pregnant. You are paying out £1500 in school/nursey fees this will go up once you go back to work as well. you could save your self £800 a month or £9600 a year by sending your daughter to a state school. I'm assuming there are extras to pay for the school -uniforms,school dinners etc etc?

Does hubby need a car for work -would a small cheap run around suffice so you could sell yours? Or why not sell yours and not buy one till you've gone back to work.

You say you look at prices in the supermarket twice before buying -have you thought about shopping in discount supermarkets? Way cheaper.

What you should do is write out a list of every thing you spend a month -use Martins budget planner to help you and look at ways to cut back.

Callisto

Hi Zoska, well done for posting, we will help all we can! Firstly I agree with others that your husband's attitude to the debt is strange! Myself and my boyfriend have always had seperate bank accounts and credit cards, but we still share our money. If one of us is skint, the other helps out and vice versa... seems very unfair if hubby isn't willing to share the debts equally. What will happen when you leave work to have your child, your husband will HAVE to pay towards the debt then...

If it was me, I would downgrade the car, you can get a decent, reliable car for £1 - £2k (my car was given to me by a family member as I wanted an old car to learn to drive in. It cost me £150 to get it roadworthy and MOT'd and it's very reliable. I'm not suggesting you should downgrade that much, but it's always an option!) The money from the car sale should go straight to paying off the debts with the highest APR's.

I would also downgrade Sky to a lower package or get rid of it altogether. It's a luxury you can't afford at the moment. Shop around for insurance when your renewals are due, don't ever automatically renew a policy. Shop in Aldi or Lidl if possible. Check out the MoneySaving Old Style board to find other ways to cut spending on food/groceries.

Also, please see where else you can cut back before you consider adding the debt to your mortgage as the debt will then be secured on your home...

AMILLIONDOLLARS

As I understand it:

Consolidation Loan £15K was this to pay off your previous debts (before marriage)? Your husband borrowed the money in his name, but your paying it back?

You have a Lloyds overdraft of £2k
you have two CC I'm assuming in your name only, total £12K
Husband helps with paying mortgage, with two children and another on the way I should hope so!! (why in your name only initially?)
School Fee for your daughter £800 per month
Lastly joint O/D again £2K

Tell me if I am wrong, your husband bailed you out once before (consolidation loan) but you have run up debts again, and he wants nothing more to do with them, its your baby now so to speak!!

If I were you, I would sell the car and down grade to a cheaper model. I would also move house to an area with good schools as you cannot continue to send your daughter to the present one, especially with another child on the way.

Sit down with your husband and discuss finance, its up to you to convince him that you have changed your ways, maybe then he'd be more willing to help (just speculating, please tell me that I'm wrong):eek: