bluebird's diary

bluebird36

Hi guys,

just read Mike's thread about keeping a diary and was not sure myself if this is still allowed. I would like to keep a diary too, as Yellow Monkey's diary has really helped me to make up my mind bout what has to be done and it just seems a good way to be able to let off steam now and again, without interrupting more important posts.

So here it goes...

The reasons behind my debt are a combination of two divorces, low wages and trying to bring up my children, at times spending too much just to make us feel a little better (nothing big really, just birthday and x mas presents for the kids, no holidays or jewels!) at other times supplementing income with credit cards, store cards and catalogue debt to replace broken items or to buy necessities.

Many things break in our house as one of my children is just being assessed for possibly being autistic and he has bad temper tantrums. The car breaks routinely, is only worth about 550. The washing machine and tumble dryer also. We even have been struck by lightening once, which killed the sky box, the phone and a computer. And no, at this stage I did not have any contents insurance, as I had cancelled it due to having not enough money...

I have always worked and also did a part-time degree. More hours at work and more responsibility gradually helped me to increase my wages and I tried to keep up all the payments, paying into cards(minimum payments) but then using them again when necessary. At times I would go over my over-draft limit and consequently being charged, leaving less the following month.

I think the real trouble began when last summer I received a letter from egg. I had been with them for many years and only ever had one late payment years ago. They informed me that even though I had not exeeded my credit limit or missed any payments they had decided to stop me using my card. They said I could continue monthly payments. This effectively left me with no other source of emergency credit.

At the same time my bank offered me a loan, to repay the maxed out overdraft and to cover my other loan, where I had only 2 years left to pay. I did as they suggested, but did not repay all of the egg cc, as I needed money to fix car.

Even though I told the tax credt people about my wage increase in september, they have now sent me a letter telling me I was overpaid by nearly 2000. Also payments will drop by about 200 a month. My job contract for this year was temporary and due to redundancies will be abolished in September. I can remain in work but only part-time (which I believe is probably a good thing for my child) and will loose a further 400 each month.

I cannot really afford to live and pay for all outgoings even now, so things would be abbysmal by then.

I did my SOA, spoke to Debtline, read loads and loads of the advice and experience of you kind people on here. I then opened a cashminder co-op account and have just received card and pin. Wages are redirected and will hopefully arrive at co-op end of this month (also tax credits and CB).
This is to avoid the loan payments, so I can use that money for the court and OR fees.
Have cancelled all Direct Debits except fo priority payments and also set up new phone and internet to save costs.

I have already received 2 letters and 1 phone call and feeling dreadful.
BR date booked for 28th of April (was first available date two weeks ago!).

Richard_S

Hi Bluebird,

Your circumstances are similar to so many other people that have had to confront bankruptcy as the only viable option to move theit lives forward.

You've clearly tried your hardest to deal with your debt problems but there comes a time when it's pointless to continue fighting the inevitable.

Try to ignore the inevitable phone calls and snotty letters and just look forward to 28th April as the day that you'll ultimately regain control of your destiny.

Regards

Richard

bluebird36

Thanks Richard,

I thin I will send all creditors one of those letters asking not to be contacted by phone. Had this first call today (I knew it would happen eventually, but am surprised how quickly they act) and the lady told me she is very sorry for me, when I said I could not pay this month.
(I tried to tell her that I will probably be in a better situation at the end of April, but felt sick telling lies like that).
I promised to call back next week with my new bank details, but again I know i will not do that and i hate the lies, would much rather tell them the truth but am worried what they do then and want to avoid CCJs if possible...
So it is the unplugged phone option for me I think, but I am really scared that they will call my workplace (she even asked if I still work there).

I really hate the whole situation and will try a last ditch attempt at winning the lottery, once every week until BR date.
Wish me luck!

Richard_S

Hi Bluebird,

It's a truly awful situation to be in and one that I'm very pleased to get behind me, but you will come through it; you just need to keep believing in the ultimate outcome rather than the day to day aggravation.

I was tidying the study last weekend and came across the notes I made every time I spoke to a creditor and it really did bring it home how difficult things had been. Speaking to a DCA prior to going into a meeting at work and trying like mad to concentrate on work and not personal finances; character buikding stuff.

Richard

bluebird36

:A When did you go BR, Richard? Was it recently or are you maybe already discharged? Sorry, I do not think I read your background yet...

You are right, it seems to split my mind into two halfs. The 'money worries' mind and the 'have to just keepon going with day to day stuff' mind.

Cannot even concentrate on telly or books anymore, this has taken over my life and I cannot wait for BR day, because then I will not keep on thinking shall I/shall I not...

Sorting out the study and maybe even shredding it all would be soooooo good! Thanks for your support!

Richard_S

Hi Bluebird,

My wife and I were declared bankrupt as the result of a creditor petition in August 2006 and discharged a year later.

It was a very difficult time for all sorts of reasons, but we never stopped believing that it would be ultimately for the best. With the benefit of hindsight our faith was well placed, but that doesn't mean that it's been an easy ride.

We're both working full time and have a decent joint income, and despite not particularly enjoying our work, we never give our former problems a moments thought.

As beautiful as the human mind can be, it can equally be a living hell with its continually shifting thoughts and emotions. You have to force yourself to ignore its distractions and just single mindedly focus on bankruptcy as being the only realistic way forward.

I'm sure you'll make that journey; you certainly won't be the last.

Regards

Richard

bluebird36

Hi,

the first god thing in ages happened today. I told a friend and colleague about my upcoming BR and mentioned that I worry about the car situation, eg will they let me keep it? And if I am allowed to keep it, will I be able to pay for repairs due (lots needs fixing, but cannot afford right now and do not want to either if I loose car).


I am especially worried as work is close by, but getting kids to school and then reach work in time would be only doable via taxi. Also my son needs alot of medical appointments during work time (always about 6 miles away) and to achieve this with public transport would keep me away from work so long that I would have to miss nearly or probably a whole day.


So my colleague said that she is buying a new car next month and I could have her old one as a gift (worth probably around the same as mine, but better condition £500)
Is that allowed? If the OR takes my car would I be allowed to accept a car as a gift?

Anyway, just that she was so kind and understanding and non-judgemental helped a great deal. And to be offered some hope....:j

Hope you'll all have a good weekend!

yellowmonkey

Hi

Dont know about OR and car as gift but what a wonderfull gesture and what a great friend :T Keep hold of them

Nice to see you doing a diary and I am glad mine was of some help

Have a nice weekend yourself

ttfn

ym

startagain_2

Hi bluebird,

From one diary writer to another can I just say how much I actually enjoy reading other peoples accounts of their day to day lives and traumas which we all seem to have. Learning that other people go through it too makes it all just a bit more bearable! With my own diary, it gives me a chance to "say" things that I can't in real life because hardly anyone knows about my BR and it saves me bottling it all up.
I am so pleased that you are getting the car as a gift - I can't see it will be a problem especially as it is not an expensive run around for you. Others will give the official line on that later on. I am very lucky in that my little car has been very reliable over the past 3 years (touching wood) and that I was allowed to keep it after my BR.
Please continue to write the diary and I shall keep on reading .....
Best wishes and a welcome hug....

SA

bluebird36

Hello Startagain,

you are right, it is so so helpful to read other people's experiences! I now do not feel alone with this anymore, I can see that many, many people are in a similar position.

Also by reading as much as I can on this forum I have gained the impression that most Bankrupts seem to be fantastically nice and generous peolple, so supportive of complete strangers and anybody who wants to pour their heart out or requires help.

My theory is now that maybe a generous and kind nature could even have contributed to our relationship with money?;)

I will look up you diary now and send you hugs too.

startagain_2

bluebird36 wrote: »

Hello Startagain,

My theory is now that maybe a generous and kind nature could even have contributed to our relationship with money?;)

Umm, yes.

I spent 12 years to - ing and fro - ing to the other side of the Atlantic thinking that I was helping the poor people there and all the time it was causing damage to my finances,sanity, and heart.
Because of low self esteem I find I end up giving presents and money when I really could have done with the money myself.
Luckily the end of 2008 was a real turning point for me.... becoming BR within a month of first posting on here, realising that my "addiction" for my travels abroad was harming me and also that it was time to have a rethink on which way my life needs to go, especially now I am on the wrong side of 50 and still behaving like a teenager!
People on here have been a godsend for me - from the ultra practical answers on the procedures of BR to the ecuddles that often change my whole day and outlook on things ....
Hugs
SA