I'm really ashamed......

emilia_2

I think that's a really good idea justtruth. Although how weird is this - I'm in total money guilt mode about everything. The thought of buying a new top or actually spending money on anything to do with me (aside from my hair) makes me wince a bit as it feels a bit naughty

I checked my account last night and it wasn't too bad although I have told F that because of money paid out on repairs to house (house I own with brother) that I can't save for the wedding this month. He was understanding as he always is....which made me feel worse....then okay again as previously I would have stuck all spending on the credit card.

So had to spend £20 on petrol today. I live about 9 miles away from work so I'm starting to chomp petrol and as I said I need car for the work I do. There isn't an option of using public transport or car sharing.


Also spent £5.66 on food tonight plus breakfasts for next 2 days. It's amazing how much I'm not spending by just making my own lunch every day. Previously I would have got the odd tenner here and there every other day and end up spending the change just because it was in my purse.

I'm shattered - I was thinking of writing wedding invitations and now feel bored at the thought. I wish I could be a bride who turns up on the day with everything organised for me. Just wheel me in and I'll say 'I do' - job done off on honeymoon

Still hate my job loads but i'm still happy cos I know I'm not staying there any longer than a few more months xx

justruth

Thats cool about the job. It's all going to fall into place. The thing with changing habbits is you don't always notice once you have done it, but the results soon begin to show.

Good luck with writting the invites!

cheesedoffwithdebt

Hair £48 (again I know but I tried getting this done at a cheap salon and then a local college and I nearly ended up with no hair. I get it dyed a bright blonde colour you see)
Food £120 (yes just me ridiculous - it's all influence from my partner I will explain further)
Entertainment £80
Petrol £60 (need car for work)
Clothes £40
Wedding fund £200 ( I have to save this as partner is paying for nearly everything....)


I hope you won't mind me commenting on the above!! I've been struggling with money for years, got made redundant a couple of times, had to take jobs with a lower salary in order to keep some reasonable income rolling in- and finally faced up to everything- am in a DMP-feel remarkably better, but have had to face all these issues of giving up what I felt was justifiable expenditure.
So- entertainment £80- thats a staggering £960 a year- what's all that about? I appreciate its hard when your fiance does not have the same problem but there is a teamwork issue here which is not- he pays while you sort out the money- but kind of can he help you by perhaps together finding cheaper ways to be entertained?
I appreciate that mind sound harsh, but its comes from experience-when you hit rock bottom which you have not done- entertainment budgets are not allowed, I would bet if you broke that down- you could find ways of saving at least half of it.
Hair- absolutely know- however I have now successfully found a salon where the model nights for a cut are a fiver and colour is £15-the level of supervision is high, and the chain run their own school of hairdressing- you do need to shop around but your annual budget is currently £540- if you could get the same deal as me for instance, and I have my hair cut monthly and coloured every three months, you could save £420 a year.

Food- is actually not a bad figure- could probably get that down to £100 if you shopped carefully.

So- I reckon you could shave off £1140 from your annual budget by making the changes I suggested;

Halve your entertainment costs
find a decent hairdresser model night
chop £20 a month from your food budget.

Once you are married you can save the £200 as well-so thats £3540 in total a year that could go towards your debts.

As I say-it's not easy, but alot of the challenge is working out what we want versus what we need. I am going to start up a new thread on this basis because changing spending and lifestyle habits are definitely the hardest- see if we can create some sort of challenge.
I wish you well
:beer:

chevalier

Have you actually done a proper SOA? There is one at www.makesenseofcards.com which you can fill in and then format for MSE site. Even if you don't post it on here, it would give you a nudge aboug categorys of spending that you may have forgotten.

Also ref the flat you own with your brother, is the person paying rent paying enough?

good luck
chev

emilia_2

Good question Chevalier. The person who pays rent is probably NOT paying enough. The problem we have is that it's a friend. Tricky situation when you end up renting a room out to your friend and then put the rent up. We did actually do this a few months ago... Caused all sorts of chew. He was only paying £300 per month all in including rent, gas electric, council tax, water (we live in a big city close to city centre) so it was cheap. The said friend did help us out at the time as were were looking for someone quickly - knew we could trust him not to wreck the place etc. However the thought of putting the rent up again could cause a major rift and the fact that him and my brother are quite close mates too.....not an easy one!

As far as money saving goes this past week - I've wrecked all of my good moneysaving hard work. I'm so annoyed with myself it's unbelievable. Having checked my account tonight I am £20 over my overdraft limit, don't get paid until Tuesday, have no petrol in my car and F is expecting to come home tonight to find his tea cooked as it's my turn. I have no money to buy food.
I thought I'd budgeted properly but evidently not. It's my dad's birthday this weekend and I have no money to buy him a card or a present. It's embarassing I'm in this situation. I'm really upset with myself. Again this is where a credit card could have saved my life but I've cut them all up. I'd rather starve than ask to borrow money off anyone. I don't really know what to do?

I think I know where I've gone wrong - I think I paid more than my share for food last week and I seem to have used more petrol than I was expecting too for work. I won't get expenses back till the end of the month

I've just sent F a text now telling him I'm skint and he was lovely about it. Oh god. So short of selling myself down the docks this evening I have no idea of how I'm going to get hold of money between now and Tuesday. The petrol light isn't on just yet so I could maybe scrape two days out of that. Actually I'm finding this almost a bit comical. I have soup to take to work. I'll have to give my dad a hug for his birthday. Stay in all weekend.

What's more annoying is that work is still SOOOO stressful. And despite my best intentions to save £200 per month for the wedding I have so far saved a grand total of £0.

The simple answer I've just realised is that I'm trying to pay too much off my credit cards. I think £300 per month is too much + overspend at the weekend = I'm skint till Tuesday. Oh bloody hell.

poddle911

Hi Emilia

I know those 'bloody hell' moments well! Try not to beat yourself up about things - it's obvious you're determined to sort out your finances, but overdoing it won't help in the long run, especially if you get charged by your bank for going over your OD. Sorry I don't feel like I'm being much help! I think you've been incredibly tough cutting up your credit cards, and I know it must be frustrating how easy it would have been to put a tank of petrol and your dad's birthday present on one, but I guess that's how we get into debt in the first place.

Any chance you can swap food weeks with OH so you do two in a row after payday when you get your expenses back? Is £300 the min. repayments on your cards? If not, then you could be more flexible by paying the minimum and then throwing whatever extra cash you have left at the end of the month at them. At least it won't leave you short...

Anyways, keep up the good work, sorry you're having a tough time - are your colleagues still being b*stards?!

emilia_2

Ah thanks Poddle you have cheered me up!

People at work are being semi-bast*rds. Not as bad as they have been. It got so bad the other week I called a meeting and asked everyone to get it off their chests....and they did! Basically said I was completely different to their old boss, didn't like my management style etc. (which in my opinion means they don't like being managed) Tough ti*s I say - they were getting away with murder. Anyhow the clear the air chat seems to have worked for the moment

Good idea on the credit card situation - ie paying off the minimum and then paying the rest at the end of the month. This means I have to be very disciplined....

And I've sorted out tonights tea for me and F. Bear in mind he buys all our food from M&S, world food shops and Tesco the finest etc and he's a fitness freak....I have made fried egg, oven chips and beans. I can't wait to see the look on his face - it's going to be well funny. The chips are in now and he's nearly back home so must go and get them out. :beer:

emilia_2

God so my last post was a few weeks ago and I was very nearly falling off the moneysaving bandwagon.......but I'm back with a vengeance - all is not lost!!! Big victories this week finally closed down Barclaycard and Egg cards. Well Egg are being a bit funny and keeping my account open for 30 days in case interest goes on - I've told them I'm still at 0% so there won't be any interest but they insist on keeping it open - how annoying. I think they are sneakily hoping I'll change my mind and spend on the card again but no way. That LBM is still keeping me on the straight and narrow....that disdainful "you owe £6,000?????on credit cards?????" I can't wait to tell her I've paid it off.

Second victory sold my ski gear on e-bay for £80....how good is that? I was well chuffed The only problem now with these ski's is that I can't work out how to bloody wrap them to post. F got home the other night to find me red faced having a fight with 2 card board boxes. I used a full roll of parcel tape....which didn't tape anything...so gave up and now the boxes are in a crumpled heap in the corner. I need to work this out by tomorrow or I'll end up with bad feedback:rolleyes:

However down side to my victories is that is that I did fall off the easter non spending mission, went out for a few drinks, ended up in a few v expensive wine type bars. The next morning woke up significantly poorer and wishing I hadn't bothered. Getting elbowed in the ribs at the bar and having people spill bacardi breezers all over me isn't my idea of a fun night. I knew we should have gone to old mans pubs.

Loan currently stands at £5,400 CC £6,300.... overdraft £1000 need to double check this

Also told F about the full extent of my CC debts......Oh god I nearly died!!!!
He was very good, looked unshocked (what must he think of me?) and said something along the lines of we are a team anyway. What a star!


xx

Fire_Fox

Re: the confession - I hope you also told your OH how well you are budgeting and how much you are paying off each month? You are doing great!

Re: the skis - e-mail the buyer and tell them the truth ... I would find it funny and honest that you said you were having trouble wrapping them, but were doing your best. Def give you good feedback once the parcel was received carefully packed.

Re: nights out - do not take the card out with you!! Just the money you have budgeted, plus a fiver in the flat for an emergency taxi.

emilia_2

Cheers Fire Fox! I will tel F how well I'm doing. I'm really glad he's being supportive not that I didn't think he would be of course but it's just really hard. Yes you are also right about the nights out. I aways find I go home home having spent whatever money is in my purse - be it a fiver or 50 quid.

Re: skis well the wrapping saga lasted all day today....had to lug them into work receiving odd looks from colleagues, nip out in between a meeting, run to the post office - used another full roll of parcel tape and brown paper...thankfully they managed to accept them even though there were bits of paper and tape sticking out all over the place. I could get into this e-bay lark if the posting wasn't such a hassle. Saying that it's not like I'll be posting ski's every week

Spent £20 today on petrol and also 75p on two cornish pasties from the bakers. I'm literally working flat out at the moment so had no breakfast - or proper lunchtime so stuffed them both in between appointments at work. Felt guilty but then remembered I'd had no breakfast.

Mad day today......