It's a mess !

maxmycardagain

BTW, in the unlikely event of your house attarcting a buyer, what are the chances in reality of you moving out before xmas?

usually takes 3 months anyway

LilyBart

I know it's really time-consuming but given the different quality of available advice, even from within the same charities, I think it's always a good idea to speak to all three of the main ones. Even if the advice is conflicting. Because there's a lot to take in, and going BR is a big decision. I hope you get things sorted on a personal level.

SouthCoast

I just have a feeling that CAB may have been given a different story to the one posted here.

I would suggest a joint meeting with them.

So_Sad_Angel

I agree with SouthCoast here...a joint meeting would likely give a fuller picture. I don`t want to offend but do you think that your OH may be looking to distance herself from your situation?...just a thought.

It certainly sounds like it to me & I am not sure that a CAB advisor would `recommend` this course of action....however may have discussed as a `senario & outcome` option.

Hope you get that chat with your OH & please let us know what happens. Feel free to use this board to express your thoughts....sounds like you really need to talk.

Take care Hun,

Angiexx

Itsallgonepearshaped

Me again! Well we've had a chat and she doesn't hate me - she's just angry that I buried my head in the sand thinking I could get us out of this without worrying her and not telling her things had got as bad as they did sooner, trust issues etc - perfectly understandable. I think there is an element of her trying to distance herself from the problems (she works as a nurse parttime but also has her own ebay business which she has built up over the last year or so and where she relies on credit to get supplies from wholesalers etc and she doesn't want to lose that. She hasn't decided whether the marriage is over or not - it's not something she's going to make a snap decision about - sometimes she thinks it's for the best, others not, grass isn't always greener etc. Personally I want to make it work so that's a battle I'm going into now !

It seems the CAB advice was based on what was best for her and the kids without taking the emotional element of the situation into consideration - it's all purely practical and they did tell her it would be best if I moved out while I went through bankruptcy so she didn't get blacklisted as well. She would then be able to claim various tax benefits and housing benefit and get 70% of her childcare paid for etc and with all this included she should be able to afford to rent a small 3 bed place for her and the kids in the same town.

They also told her that I should transfer the car over into her name now so the bailiffs can't take it if and when I go BR.

She's not averse to putting the house on the market now but it needs me to tidy the garden and do a bit of painting to tidy a couple of rooms up a bit but we are going to get some estate agents round in the meantime.

Got a letter from C&G this morning offering a 6 month payment holiday after I wrote to them asking for a payment reduction which I thought was a result in the circumstances but she's still thinking about it as she thinks it's basically adding to the debt and reducing any of her equity left over. I thought it would be a good idea in that if we do end up sorting out our personal issues and staying together it'll potentially reduce the BI in the house.

On the plus side, the interview at Sainsburys didn't go too badly and it's 5 nights a week from midnight to 8 so should give her some time without me around to think about if that's what she wants ! Just have to wait and see if they offer it to me !

... and that's about it for todays getting it off my chest session.

pink-lint_2

hi there sorry i still dont think the cab would recomend this as advise,
my OH is going BR and we still are together with our kids in our mortgaged house , we used the cab and they didnt say anything like your wife is saying.

as for getting blacklisted that doesnt happen anymore.

if you hang on im sure more peope will advise, but in my opinion something doesnt sound right with the advise your wife got.

pinkx

pink-lint_2

all so i wouldnt recomend transfering the car as it is seen as giving away your assets. and bailiffs only come once it goes to court i think

deedee_3

I have a feeling that your wife didn't speak to a specialist money advisor.

She won't get blacklisted because you went bankrupt it is an individual thing. So she can carry on trading.

Don't sign the car over to her as you will get into trouble for getting rid of an assett.

Have you phoned National Debtline yet?

Do you have any joint debts?

Itsallgonepearshaped

pink-lint wrote: »

hi there sorry i still dont think the cab would recomend this as advise,
my OH is going BR and we still are together with our kids in our mortgaged house , we used the cab and they didnt say anything like your wife is saying.

as for getting blacklisted that doesnt happen anymore.

if you hang on im sure more peope will advise, but in my opinion something doesnt sound right with the advise your wife got.

pinkx

Thanks for that Pink. I'm assured by the friend who went with her that that was the advice given so could just be a dodgy councellor !:eek: Hasn't helped the situation at home at all though - it was stressful enough as it was without this getting chucked in the pot as well ...

chelseabun_3

Hi, I agree with pink and deedee. You need to talk to a professional debt advisor asap. It might also be worth having a joint meeting with your OH with a trained debt advisor. The advise your wife was given by CAB was seriously flawed and appears not to have been given by a trained debt advisor. Your wife may be resistant to talking to someone else, but it's vital for both of you and the children that you both get good, appropriate advice. It's very concerning that CAB are giving this kind of advice.

Take care and keep us up to date. CBx