My Wife's in Debt

Prosaic

Hi all, just after some advice as I'm a little worried

My W has been struggling to repay 2 bank loans and a CC. I have tried to help as much as I can but my money goes on the mortgage, bills, car etc - her money ( used to) pay for the weekly shopping and kids uniforms etc

However she's almost paying out what she earns every month ( she works part-time) which has spiralled the debt & put morepressure on me to be the sole provider for everything

Main debt is a 10k unsecured bank loan - god knows what she spent 10k on, we have nothing to show for it I'm ashamed to say. In many ways I blame myself, but I took care of the mortgage, any bills etc and just trusted she was spending wisely

Anyway she's phoned the bank saying she's struggling to meet the payments now. She's never defaulted but we both feel she may well do soon

They have said they cannot renogiate payments etc and suggested she call CCCS, which she did today

They want to put her on a DMP to the bank and CC provider, and suggested she change current account to control what's being taken out

Anyway my questions are -

Our mortage is joint in both names, although I pay it - we don't have joint accounts - can the creditors take us to court and ask for a charge on the house as she part-owns it?

If the creditors go to court for a CCJ will it affect me aswell? I'm just thinking what will happen when time comes to re-negotiate our fixed mortgage

Are the big banks likely to accept DMPs - or are we heading to the county court?

As I said she's never defaulted so I guess taking action now and still making payments must be seen as a responsible action rather than just defaulting?

thanks

Mum_of_3_3

I'm not sure about all the technical stuff, but I'm sure someone much wiser than me will be along very soon. They will probably ask you to post a SOA so it may be worth doing that I (there is a template at the top of the forum I think).

I just wanted to say that, without knowing more of your personal situation, could your wife work more hours? You say she is working part-time, could she up this by a few more hours, or even go full-time?

Like I said I have no idea how old your children are so I appreciate full-time work may not be possible.

Hope you get everything sorted out and don't worry you aren't alone here and someone will be along with some constructive advice for you.

Take care

M_o_3
x

Gangstabird

If your wifes name is on your mortgage, yes a charge can be applied.

In fact, even if your wifes name was not on the mortgage and she has been living there for 2 years or more a charge can be applied.

Gangstabird

And yes, if there is a charge on your house, it will affect you credit.

Prosaic

Mum_of_3 wrote: »

I'm not sure about all the technical stuff, but I'm sure someone much wiser than me will be along very soon. They will probably ask you to post a SOA so it may be worth doing that I (there is a template at the top of the forum I think).

I just wanted to say that, without knowing more of your personal situation, could your wife work more hours? You say she is working part-time, could she up this by a few more hours, or even go full-time?

Like I said I have no idea how old your children are so I appreciate full-time work may not be possible.

Hope you get everything sorted out and don't worry you aren't alone here and someone will be along with some constructive advice for you.

Take care

M_o_3
x

Thanks she has already increased her hours, but our 2 kids are 5 & 3 so only one at school at the minute, and we do all the childcare between us, as no family etc nearby, so she works my days off. If she goes out full time we'll have to pay childminders which sort of defeats the object unfortunately

I'm pleased she is trying to get on top of the debt- she's run through an SOA with CCCS so I think that's done, but it's such a worry thinking debt collectors might soon be after us

Lelc

I'll leave the expert advice to those in the know but it sounds very similar to my situation.

I was in debt and have been with Payplan for a couple of years - thanks to people on this site who gave me lots of good advice and guidance and encouraged me to admit the debt to my hubby. I have dealt with my debt myself and he hasn't been affected and we were able to remortgage when our fixed rate came to an end. I hope it works the same for you and your wife.

Maybe you could encourage your wife to come on here for advice.

Prosaic

Lelc wrote: »

I'll leave the expert advice to those in the know but it sounds very similar to my situation.

I was in debt and have been with Payplan for a couple of years - thanks to people on this site who gave me lots of good advice and guidance and encouraged me to admit the debt to my hubby. I have dealt with my debt myself and he hasn't been affected and we were able to remortgage when our fixed rate came to an end. I hope it works the same for you and your wife.

Maybe you could encourage your wife to come on here for advice.

I have told her about here but to be honest she didn't even tell ME until after her appointment with CCCS - I think she feels humiliated & that she's let me down. I wish I had the extra money just to get rid of it rather than tell all these companies our personal business, but there you go

Glad to hear it hasn't affected you in other ways then - was worried about that. She won't default, and up to now never has, but she knows that the repayments are beyond what she can afford, and she's started borrowing again to get through the month so wants to put a stop to it

Lelc

I can fully understand how she feels because I felt the same. To this day I have not told my hubby how much I owe or any details of my DMP. I made it clear when I told him that I got myself in the mess and I would sort it out but I did feel that I had let him down, particularly as he's so careful with money.

If your wife ever wants someone to talk to then I'm more than happy for her to pm me.

Prosaic

Lelc wrote: »

I can fully understand how she feels because I felt the same. To this day I have not told my hubby how much I owe or any details of my DMP. I made it clear when I told him that I got myself in the mess and I would sort it out but I did feel that I had let him down, particularly as he's so careful with money.

If your wife ever wants someone to talk to then I'm more than happy for her to pm me.

Thanks, I appreciate that . I will tell her. I think sometimes she finds it tought talking to me because I do tend to get annoyed about it and criticise her. I'd just rather that money went on the family you know? We all make mistakes though I know that

Lelc

Do you know what's really interesting is that I actually do more for my family now than I ever did before. I may not spend a lot of money on them but I really contribute more of myself to them and I love it. I think you have to find a positive in all situations and to me this is the most positive thing that has come out of my situation.

It will all turn out fine, I'm absolutely certain of that. It's just a bit daunting and upsetting at the start.

mummytofour

Hi OP.

I just have to say something and this is not necessarily a direct go at you. But I have seen over the months more and more couples in a situation such as yours and I just can not understand why these situations are occurring. You are saying you pay the mortgage and bills and your wife pays the uniforms and food? You don't understand where the money she owes has gone?

IMHO the splitting of bills often works well when its just a couple but this really does not work as well when children are involved. Children need things that you don't always budget for a new pair of shoes as they lost theirs! Or as a parent you want to treat you child to a day out as you feel they miss out compared to other kids.

Of course the answer would be for couples to be open about finances and share how things are organized. But so often this just doe snot seem to be the case.

OP you sound like a fab dh as you are looking for help for your DW. I just wonder how many situations as yours could be avoided by open-ness about finances at the start and would avoid these kind of things happening? The cost of living is huge and every day it staggers me just how much things add up, living as a family needs the family finances to be combined, you cant live as a her and me in a situation where one persons earning power is reduced as they work part-time.

Hey I know nothing, good luck the ones who know will be along in a while.