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    • cpfc25
    • By cpfc25 9th Oct 17, 7:21 AM
    • 6Posts
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    cpfc25
    Bullied at work - advice please
    • #1
    • 9th Oct 17, 7:21 AM
    Bullied at work - advice please 9th Oct 17 at 7:21 AM
    Deleted....
    Last edited by cpfc25; 09-10-2017 at 1:29 PM.
Page 1
    • JReacher1
    • By JReacher1 9th Oct 17, 7:40 AM
    • 2,613 Posts
    • 3,598 Thanks
    JReacher1
    • #2
    • 9th Oct 17, 7:40 AM
    • #2
    • 9th Oct 17, 7:40 AM
    You’ll be in breach of contract if you don’t serve your notice.

    Probably won’t mean anything as I doubt they would pursue it but it will be an option they could take.
    • motorguy
    • By motorguy 9th Oct 17, 7:46 AM
    • 15,545 Posts
    • 8,896 Thanks
    motorguy
    • #3
    • 9th Oct 17, 7:46 AM
    • #3
    • 9th Oct 17, 7:46 AM
    Personally, as you're a contractor and have resigned anyway, i'd be standing up to the bully in a firm, professional and controlled way.

    If they were being aggressive, i would pull them on it in front of people. If they were being irrational in arguments i'd give my reasoned, calm response.

    You're going anyway but i certainly wouldnt let a bully "win".
    Last edited by motorguy; 09-10-2017 at 7:49 AM.
    You are not special. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake.
    • sangie595
    • By sangie595 9th Oct 17, 9:05 AM
    • 3,813 Posts
    • 6,232 Thanks
    sangie595
    • #4
    • 9th Oct 17, 9:05 AM
    • #4
    • 9th Oct 17, 9:05 AM
    Hi all,

    I am a self-employed contractor at a client and have been bullied by a permanent employee. This person has been verbally aggressive, undermines me in front of meeting rooms full of people, is pushy, demanding and generally makes my working life miserable.

    I don't have to put up with this **** and I resigned last Tuesday.

    Since doing this and discussing his behaviour in more detail, I've been asked not to go to meetings with him alone, to sit on a different floor so I'm never alone with him and to block his phone number so he can't call me.

    They said he is under under a lot of pressure and is prone to aggression. I've seen this myself and also two of my colleagues have experienced it. One of them (female) ran out of the office crying and the other (male) gave as good as he got back verbally. The bully then submitted a complaint to say he had been "attacked" and would start shaking whenever my colleague was around him.

    You're going to ask me how he hasn't been sacked yet... and I wish I knew. When all of this happened with my colleagues he got sent to counselling and once again the company are talking about "getting him the help he needs".

    I have 3 weeks of my notice period left to fulfil and I don't want to do it in the office. The risk of him confronting me and even just having to see him makes me so uncomfortable. I want to be professional and see out my notice but I want to do it from home (home working is standard in my line of work and I do it at least once weekly anyway). When the bully is on holiday for a week I will happily go into the office then.

    If they can't agree to this I want to tell them that it means I won't be working my full notice period and I will leave tomorrow, one week after I resigned.

    Does this sound reasonable? I have a conversation with the Team Leader later where I will need to make this request / demand. Any advice welcome.
    Originally posted by cpfc25
    Does it sound reasonable? No it doesn't. You feel "uncomfortable"? Well you only have three weeks left at the job so you can live with it. You entered into a contract and you should abide by it unless you have a very substantial reason to not do so. Feeling uncomfortable isn't a very substantial reason.

    There is no good reason for bullying, but you do not have the whole picture (and nor should you), so the employers response is not inappropriate. They recognise that there is a problem, and are dealing with out by getting support and help for the individual. Dismissing someone is not the only, nor necessarily the most appropriate, response. Just because that is what you want doesn't make it the right thing to do. Perhaps this person had a mental health or learning disability? Perhaps they have a physical condition that causes them undue stress? There are many reasons why someone may act like this, and it sounds rather like the employer knows what the reason is. And has decided that the person is valuable to them and they will support them. That sounds rather like a good employer rather than a bad one. if you want to be professional, serve your notice period.
    • annandale
    • By annandale 9th Oct 17, 9:13 AM
    • 882 Posts
    • 1,908 Thanks
    annandale
    • #5
    • 9th Oct 17, 9:13 AM
    • #5
    • 9th Oct 17, 9:13 AM
    This person is prone to aggression. You aren't being supported by the sounds of it.

    I wouldn't be putting myself at risk in this type of situation.

    I'd leave. And I speak as someone who was assaulted at work due to employers not dealing with aggression.
    • marlot
    • By marlot 9th Oct 17, 10:02 AM
    • 3,069 Posts
    • 2,197 Thanks
    marlot
    • #6
    • 9th Oct 17, 10:02 AM
    • #6
    • 9th Oct 17, 10:02 AM
    I'd propose negotiating the notice period down - your being willing to do this may come as a relief to your customer.

    But if they are unwilling, I'd still work my notice period.

    I'd put a very loud whistle in my pocket (eg. Acme Thunderer) - The very loud noise has even broken up dog fights when I've been doing training.
    • NineDeuce
    • By NineDeuce 9th Oct 17, 10:19 AM
    • 299 Posts
    • 242 Thanks
    NineDeuce
    • #7
    • 9th Oct 17, 10:19 AM
    • #7
    • 9th Oct 17, 10:19 AM
    I am not sure you can legally do a lot, given that you were a contractor. I dont think that you have the right to claim loss of earnings in the same way that an employee claiming constructive dismissal could....
    • pinkshoes
    • By pinkshoes 9th Oct 17, 10:45 AM
    • 15,241 Posts
    • 20,746 Thanks
    pinkshoes
    • #8
    • 9th Oct 17, 10:45 AM
    • #8
    • 9th Oct 17, 10:45 AM
    I think you should man up and go in as usual for the last few weeks.

    If you are in a room with this guy just record any dialogue on your phone.

    Just be firm and politely tell him where to shove his unnecessary comments.
    Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
    Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')

    No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)
    • gardner1
    • By gardner1 9th Oct 17, 10:54 AM
    • 2,155 Posts
    • 3,040 Thanks
    gardner1
    • #9
    • 9th Oct 17, 10:54 AM
    • #9
    • 9th Oct 17, 10:54 AM
    I think you should man up and go in as usual for the last few weeks.

    If you are in a room with this guy just record any dialogue on your phone.

    Just be firm and politely tell him where to shove his unnecessary comments.
    Originally posted by pinkshoes
    Then hit him
    • sangie595
    • By sangie595 9th Oct 17, 11:57 AM
    • 3,813 Posts
    • 6,232 Thanks
    sangie595
    This person is prone to aggression. You aren't being supported by the sounds of it.

    I wouldn't be putting myself at risk in this type of situation.

    I'd leave. And I speak as someone who was assaulted at work due to employers not dealing with aggression.
    Originally posted by annandale
    I'm sorry you had a bad experience of being assaulted at work. But at risk of what? There is absolutely nothing in the OP to say that this person is a risk to anyone - quite the reverse, since the evidence suggests that the one person who has stood up to them has resulted in the individual having some form of panic attacks. And the employers are dealing with the issue. They have made accommodations to allow the OP to have no dealings with the individual on their own, including phone calls. And they are arranging counseling support for the perpetrator. So the employer is aware of the issue and responding to it.

    We do not have the full story, and shouldn't be making assumptions about the situation. We have no reason to believe that this person is a risk to themselves or others. And there may be some very understandable, if not acceptable, reason why this person acts inappropriately towards others. The fact that the employer is dealing with it, but in a supportive way, might suggest that there is a reason they are sympathetic to. Things are not always black and white. My friends mother is sometimes prone to being verbally aggressive (which is also a rather subjective thing anyway) and her employers are very sympathetic and supportive - she is in the early stages of early onset dementia and does not always have full control. People on the autistic spectrum may be subject to inappropriate verbal responses. People under stress - for example in their work or personal lives, or facing severe health problems such as cancer - can lash out verbally without good reason. That does not mean that anyone is at risk as a result.

    In my experience, employers often do see things as black and white. They either do nothing, or they dismiss. The fact that in this case the employer is choosing to act, but in a way that supports everyone, suggests that there is more to the story than we know.
    • Fireflyaway
    • By Fireflyaway 9th Oct 17, 12:01 PM
    • 1,270 Posts
    • 1,288 Thanks
    Fireflyaway
    If you have given the reason for resigning this persons behaviour and your company knows he is aggressive, I think it would be unfair for them not to try and ' protect' you in the last few weeks.
    Its good they are trying to help him, but that help should extend to everyone. There could be others who are suffering but too afraid to say. However in reality they might well think you are leaving soon so why bother to put any effort into helping you.
    If this were me I'd say I'm fully prepared to work my notice, but I'm no longer prepared to be around the person in question. He is making you concerned for your safety / wellbeing and you would appreciate your managers support in safeguarding you from this. They do have a duty of cafe after all.
    • pinkshoes
    • By pinkshoes 9th Oct 17, 12:10 PM
    • 15,241 Posts
    • 20,746 Thanks
    pinkshoes
    Then hit him
    Originally posted by gardner1
    With a pink stiletto!
    Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
    Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')

    No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)
    • xapprenticex
    • By xapprenticex 9th Oct 17, 12:25 PM
    • 1,243 Posts
    • 1,135 Thanks
    xapprenticex
    Lol the bully got some back and fell apart?
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