Hi my name is dixi and I'm a debt addict :(

Dixi64 · 7 February 2015 at 8:54PM

in_debt_again_but_dealing_with_it wrote: »

I posted this back in February 2007;

My heart is racing, have I done the right thing?? My story is long and I won't go into it (my previous posts say it all!!) but I've realised that at 42 I'm incapable of using credit sensibly though I'm very good at mismanaging debt!!and have just submitted my details to cccs - they recommended an IVA but as I'm a mature (very!!) student I'll have graduated in 5 years and hopefully be employed so able to pay off anything outstanding quite quickly - my commitment has always been to repay (as are everybodies on here) all my debt. The bank however seem to just keep piling it on, my most recent visit in December involved yet another offer of a consolidation loan - I'm sure they know I'm good for their pay rises!!! But I've done it and taken the plunge and I still feel fear but most of all shame - I have no heart renching stories for my awful debt just mismanagement and overspending on nothing!! so here's to my lightbulb moment, my spending diary and budgeting to the penny. Fingers crossed!!!

Not expecting anyone to remember me but just wanted to announce that I am making my final DMP payment on 1st November 2013 and have successfully repaid £23,500. :money:

:A It was largely thanks to this site that I dealt with my debt and in the intervening years completed my degree, a PGCE and am now teaching ... what a journey!

If anyone is contemplating heading down the DMP route, just starting or part way through - keep going you can do it and come out the other side. Keep strong.

Thank you all

IDA xx

Am feeling nothing but shame as I read the above ... that was me back in 2013 I was celebrating completing my debt free journey. 16 months is all it has taken to hit rock bottom again

My new successful career and larger wage than I had ever received (by no means a fortune!), gave me a false sense of my own financial prowess and I felt empowered. Control my spending and borrowing of course I could. I wasn't going to get into that position again. Complacency was my biggest enemy as was the feeling of self worth I felt when I was accepted for credit cards and loans. They've said yes of course I must be capable of dealing with it. They've said yes I am such a sensible person. They've said yes how good am I. Please don't think I'm blaming the financial institutions, ultimately I know I am entirely responsible for the ridiculous situation I find myself in ... again. Like a moth to a flame, a drug addict to their next fix, I think am addicted to the feeling I get when the money people say yes and I have extra money in my pocket ... to fritter and waste. Believe me when I say I have nothing of any real value to show for the £20,000 worth of debt I have accrued over the last 15 months. I live in a council house, drive an old car and furnish my house from ebay. I don't expect anybody to understand or sympathise with my stupidity but time will show that this time I am determined to get rid of my debt and never, ever have credit again.

bambos · 7 February 2015 at 9:10PM

Hi Dixi,

Well I've only one thing to say. You've done it once before so you know it's achievable and YOU CAN do it again. Absolutely achievable, credit is never your friend but you already know this and you should be proud for recognising your debt and having your LBM. Don't waste energy chastising yourself this will achieve nothing only make you feel bad.

Why not post an SOA and let us have a ganders.

http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

Don't worry you'll get there.

Laconic · 7 February 2015 at 9:14PM

Come here! *hugs* You're suffering from the disease called humanity -- we're all weak in some way and no success is ever final. Welcome back.

While you do own your own actions, lenders also assume some risk in lending to you -- the moral hazard isn't all one way, so more fool them too!

Hang in there: you've done it before in far less auspicious circumstances and you'll do it again. It's important to have something rewarding in our lives -- the question is what is it? Sounds like you need to develop more financial goals other than being debt-free, such as asset-rich being a reward -- otherwise the credit cards are waiting in the future.

Good luck and I look forward to your posts.

On_my_way · 7 February 2015 at 9:16PM

Hi Dixi,

Reading your posts made me feel quite sad for you but you cleared it before and you can do it again.

Good luck xxx

sofarbehind · 7 February 2015 at 9:16PM

Oh Dixi,you poor thing. You aren't the only person who has made the same mistake twice and sadly you won't be the last. Beating yourself up about it is a waste of time. You should be proud of facing up to it and of what you've achieved. Your life has changed drastically and it's just going to take you a bit longer to adjust to your new wage and circumstances. YOU WILL GET THERE.

Make yourself a cuppa and plan a budget. Remember you've done this before and you'll do it again. Hopefully it will be a bit easier this time as you've learnt a few things already and your income is better. x

sofarbehind · 7 February 2015 at 9:20PM

Bambos - love your avatar! I had a pet axolotl when I was a kid :j

clearmydebts · 7 February 2015 at 9:22PM

Chin up Dixi! You've come on here and fessed up! You've done it once and you can do it again. Try not to look to the past but learn from it. I look forward to hearing how you are getting on

bambos · 7 February 2015 at 9:44PM

sofarbehind wrote: »

Bambos - love your avatar! I had a pet axolotl when I was a kid :j

Thanks sfb they're great, so unusual and a great talking point.

Just2Ashamed · 8 February 2015 at 9:54AM

You're going to beat this Dixi. I've also been here before, and know how embarrassing it is and how easy it would be to slide into depression. You sound really positive though, are in a fantastic position and have already shown that you're more than capable of fixing your finances. A SOA is a good idea, stick a cuppa on and take a look at your current budget and potential cutbacks.

sandycheeks · 8 February 2015 at 11:00AM

Hey Dixi just wanted to say Hi - and don't beat yourself up. Just start your journey again and "you can do it!!!"

Dixi64 · 8 February 2015 at 1:28PM

Thank you for your warm welcome, it really does help to have your support. Don't know why I leave this site - it's helped me in so many ways over the years. I gave up smoking (20+ a day for 30 years!) in 2007 thanks to the no smoking thread (still a quitter almost 8 years now :-D ), I sorted my finances out with many boards but particularly in the very first DMP thread. Lesson learned I must stay here to stay on track! I've been in touch with Step and am pretty sure I'll be heading for a DMP again :-( just got to get DH on board. I hope I don't sound flippant I am genuinely distraught about my situation just trying to be positive. On another note I was diagnosed with depression last October and have been on anti-depressants since, almost certainly linked to my financial circumstances. Once again thanks for your support and I look forward to sharing the journey.

Hi my name is dixi and I'm a debt addict :(

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