Couples... do you count your partners debts too or do you only consider your own??

midlander81 · 24 November 2014 at 11:29PM

My wife and I are trying to take a more collective approach towards our finances as opposed to keeping things separate. The vast majority of our 40K debt is mine.

If you are part of a couple, do you count your partners debts too or do you only consider your own personal debts??

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DD265 · 24 November 2014 at 11:35PM

My partner doesn't have any debts (excluding student loan) so it's a slightly different situation.

The debts are entirely mine however he supports me in terms of contributing the greater share to our activities and food at weekends (we don't live together) and if I find myself short at the end of the month he'll help me out.

I think if we were living together and acquired debt through that, it would be a different story.

FireWyrm · 24 November 2014 at 11:54PM

All income to the house belongs to the House and all debts were accrued by the House. There is no separate debts anymore. Any debts that belonged to my OH were either paid off or were adopted by the House years ago. The House in the meantime is trying desperately to pay off the last dregs of debts but as of tonight, the House decided it needed a new sideboard and so cheekily spent £300 of itself on one from Amazon (is there anything that place doesnt sell?). I shall have words with the House later.

P.S the House decided that it didnt want the existing set of drawers flattening the smallest inhabitant of the house and so deemed the old furniture beyond repair and consigned it to be burned for fuel through winter...so it wasnt really an expense :-)

James_B. · 25 November 2014 at 10:09AM

I believe that my OH has no debts, but as neither of us knows the other's finances, it's hard to say.

I'd be pretty disappointed if she did have any, really. It'd be completely out of character for her to do something like that.

hohum · 25 November 2014 at 11:19AM

The debts are mostly mine, but we run joint finances. I mentally make sure that debt repayment comes from 'my' income however. Running joint finances has substantially improved our financial position, mostly because we're not frittering as much as we did.

dano17439 · 25 November 2014 at 11:24AM

Mine and my wifes income is pooled, so therefore if we had any debt, that would also be pooled. Really cant understand married couples who have there own separate money. Your are supposed to be a unit, a team, a partnership and everything is a joint venture if you have a happy successful marriage

Flutterby83 · 25 November 2014 at 11:41AM

We see ours as joint, even though we both have debts that were accrued before getting together we also have debts accrued jointly. My partners single debts were cleared earlier this year and mine are still ongoing, however, he doesn't have a personal bank account so all payments come out if mine. He gives me money for 'the house' every week and this gets put in with the budget, if he has more than expected he will pay it to the debts just as I would. We live together so the less debts either/both of us have, the easier living is for both of us....I wouldn't see him struggle with crippling payments if I could help him and I know he'd be the same.

On_my_way · 25 November 2014 at 1:14PM

My boyfriend (we live together in a house he owned before we met) doesn't have any debts except his mortgage.

I only got into debt because of my ex bf using me and I was too stupid/nice/abused to say no and put a stop to it. I told my new bf about my debts very early on in our relationship so that he knew the score. He is a great person and I always believe the truth is the only way.

I have a few debts (on a DMP). He is very kind to me and pays for a lot of things that, in time, I will contribute to but I am paying my debts myself.

So, he does support me emotionally and financially in that way but my debts are paid out of my salary.

Pixie5740 · 25 November 2014 at 1:30PM

I think it depends on how the debts came about. If someone had debts before the relationship then I would see them more as their debts. Likewise if the debts came about because my partner had a gambling addiction or some other kind of addiction, then I'd probably see them as their debts rather than our debts.

However, if the debts came about during the relationship for things like an extension they'd be joint debts. I also think if it's fairly obvious you're living beyond your means and bury your head in the sand about then I think they should be joint debts.

There was a poster a while back who had racked up debts trying to run the household exactly the same as it was before her husbands hours were cut at work. When she finally came clean he !!!!!!ed off. How he thought she was managing to maintain the same lifestyle on less I do not know.

spendaholic1986 · 25 November 2014 at 1:31PM

My partner and I keep our finances very much separate but have an account which we equally contribute to for bills and rent.

I have debts, most of which were accrued before we met so I don't feel it would be fair to ever ask him to contribute any of his income to paying them off.

Even once debt free we will probably continue with this arrangement as it suits us both.

rockm87 · 25 November 2014 at 6:16PM

Our debts are seperate, our joint finances are fine.

Once ive sorted my debt, I will help DH sort out his, he is currently on a DMP (for a fee) and I feel he will be paying til he's 100 probably!

We have very different views on debt, and I prioritise mine very differently to him, but I wouldn't want to consider his debt and his attitude to money as a burden to me (which would happen) .. so we keep it...for now...separate. It's whatever is manageable in the relationship.

Couples... do you count your partners debts too or do you only consider your own??

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