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Why I don't feel deprived.
Trishiapp
Posts: 141 Forumite
At the beginning of my DFW journey, I felt rather frightened by the sacrifices I had to make to clear my debts; I had visions of me and my two children eating only value foods whilst sitting, shivering in a cold house.
Despite my fears, I stepped into the unknown... I must admit that, instead of feeling deprived, we are actually thriving! We lead a very simple life and have no desire to spend any unnecessary money. We cook, garden, walk, cycle, read, study, watch TV and spend time with family and friends. In fact, our lives have more peace and meaning!
As the weight of debt is slowly lifting off my shoulders I am feeling lighter and lighter. Not once, did I feel deprived by my frugal ways.
Through this process, I have learned new skills and no longer define myself through what I have or don't have. In short, for me, the rewards outweigh the sacrifices.
Since at the beginning, I did not anticipate such outcome, I am wondering about other people's journeys: What positives have you gained through your DFW way of life?
Despite my fears, I stepped into the unknown... I must admit that, instead of feeling deprived, we are actually thriving! We lead a very simple life and have no desire to spend any unnecessary money. We cook, garden, walk, cycle, read, study, watch TV and spend time with family and friends. In fact, our lives have more peace and meaning!
As the weight of debt is slowly lifting off my shoulders I am feeling lighter and lighter. Not once, did I feel deprived by my frugal ways.
Through this process, I have learned new skills and no longer define myself through what I have or don't have. In short, for me, the rewards outweigh the sacrifices.
Since at the beginning, I did not anticipate such outcome, I am wondering about other people's journeys: What positives have you gained through your DFW way of life?
Everything in my life is a reflection of who I am-as within, so without.
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Comments
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The only positive I've learned is to become legally savvy, and be more assertive. Also a hatred of bullying debt collection agencies.0
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Deleted User wrote: »The only positive I've learned is to become legally savvy, and be more assertive. Also a hatred of bullying debt collection agencies.
Which is hopefully the opposite of the lesson that most people learn here, which is to take responsibility for their own actions, to learn to live wiithin their means, and never get to the point where they need to be "assertive" over not paying back money that they've borrowed.0 -
Thanks Bill, send me a postcard from that perfect world you live in.0
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Deleted User wrote: »The only positive I've learned is to become legally savvy, and be more assertive. Also a hatred of bullying debt collection agencies.Which is hopefully the opposite of the lesson that most people learn here, which is to take responsibility for their own actions, to learn to live wiithin their means, and never get to the point where they need to be "assertive" over not paying back money that they've borrowed.
So Bill your hoping people on here become less assertive ?
Great idea. :wall:0 -
Deleted User wrote: »The only positive I've learned is to become legally savvy, and be more assertive. Also a hatred of bullying debt collection agencies.
I think it's fantastic you've become more assertive! This is especially important when one deals with debt collection agencies, who tend to bully people into submission!
Also, assertiveness has nothing to do with absconding responsibility for one's debts, but rather a recognition of one's boundaries which oftentimes get violated when we are not able to be assertive.Everything in my life is a reflection of who I am-as within, so without.0 -
Also, assertiveness has nothing to do with absconding responsibility for one's debts, but rather a recognition of one's boundaries which oftentimes get violated when we are not able to be assertive.
Trishiapp makes a VERY good point.
One of the main reasons for my debt was my inability to say 'NO'.
Not only was I constantly taken in by sales pitches, but I found it almost impossible to refuse when friends and family suggested outings, meals, holidays etc.
I mistakenly though it was a reflection of me if I couldn't 'keep up'.
Now I regularly say NO and find myself better respected for it.
It's no fun (and very costly) being one of life's doormats!
As for the other things I'm getting out of my DF journey.- Less time cleaning (don't own so much)
- Less time shopping (don't NEED so much)
- More quality family time.
- Know myself better - and what REALLY makes me happy.
Debt at LBM £60k (July 09) Jan14 £5k Feb14 £4615
Mar14 £4379 End Mar 14 £4035 :T
Completely crazy clothes challenge 2014 0/£100
2014 frugal living challenge0 -
Trish Dave Ramsey (American personal finance guru sort of like Martin but with a lot more bible-thumping) says that when you get a handle on your money and start living with a budget and paying off debt, you feel like you got a raise.
It's so true! The sense of peace and security I get from my budget, my cash envelopes and my spending app far outweigh anything i used to splash the cash on.0 -
Hettie - you soon learn who your friends are when you start saying NO!
I have lost 2 family members this way. AS long as you are the one giving and they will keep taking every thing is good. Say no more and then they will not want to know you sadly.
One even has said she will be my friend if I say sorry.The secret to success is making very small, yet constant changes.:)0 -
Which is hopefully the opposite of the lesson that most people learn here, which is to take responsibility for their own actions, to learn to live wiithin their means, and never get to the point where they need to be "assertive" over not paying back money that they've borrowed.
Bit harsh.As of 24th August 2016 total money owed was
£15,708 :eek:0 -
I am still at the anxious and worrying stage but there is beginning to develope a slight satisfaction that it is actually possible to take control of my financial situation even if there is still sucha long way to go. Seeing how other people tackle their situations is insplring.Member 116 2 pound savers club:) 167 virtual sealed pot challenge:j0
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