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    My home is a mess
    • #1
    • 10th Apr 11, 10:11 AM
    My home is a mess 10th Apr 11 at 10:11 AM
    Due to various reasons (ill health, work issues, family problems) over the past 6 months my home has become very messy and in certain places dirty

    I am so far behind with housework and so exhausted at the weekends that it is all I can do to keep up with the kitchen, bathroom and clothes, towels and bedding washing.

    OH has been great - helping with the tasks he is set but the house now needs

    1. A bloody good declutter
    2. A really deep clean
    3. Money spent on it

    The task is sooo over whelming that I would rather not start than start and get half way through and abandon it.


    I have read the declutter thread and the old style daily cleaning plan - the problem is that as soon as health deteriorates I lose track and the mess starts again. OH has to look after me when I am not well so he cant do that and pick up the house slack too.

    Have been up since 7 and done 3 washings - that is the darks, lights, towels and now I am doing the bedding. 10am and I am pooped.

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    Last edited by Buddingblonde; 03-05-2011 at 7:27 PM. Reason: To acknowledge and celebrate that I am in good if messy company!
Page 1
    • mumofjusttwo
    • By mumofjusttwo 10th Apr 11, 10:12 AM
    • 2,602 Posts
    • 40,789 Thanks
    • #2
    • 10th Apr 11, 10:12 AM
    • #2
    • 10th Apr 11, 10:12 AM
    May be worth while looking at the flylady thread.

    Will find link

    The first post will tell you all you need to know but you can focus on doing as much r as little as you like. Taking it in baby steps can be the key.

    Good Luck
    January Grocery 11/374
    • Butterfly Brain
    • By Butterfly Brain 10th Apr 11, 10:17 AM
    • 8,552 Posts
    • 59,479 Thanks
    Butterfly Brain
    • #3
    • 10th Apr 11, 10:17 AM
    • #3
    • 10th Apr 11, 10:17 AM
    I would agree with mumofjusttwo about flylady - Just start on one bit at a time, none of us are superhuman. Babysteps and you will get there x
    Blessed are the cracked for they are the ones that let in the light
    C.R.A.P R.O.L.L.Z. Member #35 Butterfly Brain + OH - Foraging Fixers
    Not Buying it 2015!
    • Barneysmom
    • By Barneysmom 10th Apr 11, 10:24 AM
    • 9,457 Posts
    • 24,285 Thanks
    • #4
    • 10th Apr 11, 10:24 AM
    • #4
    • 10th Apr 11, 10:24 AM
    I'm in kind of the same situatioin as you, except it's my hubby that's ill.
    There are areas in the house that need a clear pout, so far I've got a huge box of curtains for my mom, and threw a bin bag of my clothes away leaving me with just 4 t-shirts to use on weekends.
    I'm finding the less stuff I have in the house, the easier it is to keep tidy.

    There are areas that have been neglected the last 6 months but I'm learning slowly to be a bit easier on myself. Cobwebs will grow long after we're gone, and it's quality of life that matters, not a tidy cubby hole.

    If you can plan 15 minutes extra every other day you'll soon have it a bit more under control, and don't worry about it, Rome wasn't built in a day.
    • Mrs_B
    • By Mrs_B 10th Apr 11, 10:31 AM
    • 317 Posts
    • 4,429 Thanks
    • #5
    • 10th Apr 11, 10:31 AM
    • #5
    • 10th Apr 11, 10:31 AM
    Another one who says "come and join the Flyladies". I've not been there long, but they're an extremely welcoming bunch, they're never judgmental if you haven't managed much, but insteady just encourage you about everything you do manage to do - and there are folks on there who are not as fit as others, so there's plenty of understanding about the times when it is just not possible do keep up.
  • Buddingblonde
    • #6
    • 10th Apr 11, 10:34 AM
    • #6
    • 10th Apr 11, 10:34 AM
    I have read and reread the flyladies - the problem is that I often dont have the energy to do bits every day after work and I feel that the house needs more than a bit doing every day - for maintainance I can totally see the flyladies being the way forward but it would take me ages to get everything done that by the time I got to the start again the house would be in chaos.
  • Buddingblonde
    • #7
    • 10th Apr 11, 10:35 AM
    • #7
    • 10th Apr 11, 10:35 AM
    I have taken to commercial break cleaning - doing small tasks in the breaks of programmes that I watch. The problem is I get in from work about 5.30 and I am often in bed by 8.30.
  • jackieglasgow
    • #8
    • 10th Apr 11, 10:38 AM
    • #8
    • 10th Apr 11, 10:38 AM
    I am in a similar position Buddingblonde. I am struggling to get just the daily housework done that the overdue stuff is really overwhelming me My plan is to start in the kitchen and work my way through the house, doing the Flylady level one in each room - giving myself an hour a day to deal with essentials, and four hours a day on the other rooms whilst I am off work - I normally work five hours a day, and am translating that into housework hours to get on top of things in the next week before I go back to work. It means I can do it in parts, or all at once if I am so inclined, but five hours is the limit for the day, for everything, and the rest of the day is mine and my children's time
    It's what is inside your head that matters in life - not what's outside your window
    Originally posted by mardatha
    Every worthwhile accomplishment, big or little, has its stages of drudgery and triumph; a beginning, a struggle and a victory. - Ghandi
    • mumofjusttwo
    • By mumofjusttwo 10th Apr 11, 10:40 AM
    • 2,602 Posts
    • 40,789 Thanks
    • #9
    • 10th Apr 11, 10:40 AM
    • #9
    • 10th Apr 11, 10:40 AM
    Many people that are on the flylady thread focus on just doing Level 1. So for example clean work surface. If you have lots of stuff on there then you could just focus on a small area and see if you could clear it and then try and keep that area clear as the next week you would just need to give it a clean and would not need to declutter that area so will be done quicker.

    Many people use you idea of commercial break cleaning and also putting something away each time you ned to go upstairs etc so it is never a wasted trip.
    January Grocery 11/374
    • Mrs_B
    • By Mrs_B 10th Apr 11, 10:42 AM
    • 317 Posts
    • 4,429 Thanks
    I'd suggest you try the MSE Flyladies and see - starting with 5 minute efforts seems like a very positive start to me - and it sounds as if you could do with some support to accept that you can't do the impossible in the hours that you are at home - and awake.
    • CRANKY40
    • By CRANKY40 10th Apr 11, 11:06 AM
    • 2,343 Posts
    • 23,965 Thanks
    I have arthritis in my spine, so my back hurts when I do too much. I do 15 minutes of housework then sit down for 15 minutes and so on. It's amazing what you can get done in 15 minutes, and then you have your little rest to look forward to before you start again.
  • BitterAndTwisted
    My home is a complete mess and I don't even have time-constraints or ill-health as a legitimate reason for not sorting it. Motivation is my problem. I live alone and rarely have anyone visiting so just sit here looking at the mountain of chores that need to be done and think "Oh, crikey, maybe I'll do it later" but I never do.

    I'm up-to-date with the laundry and spend plenty of time cooking and baking and that's it. I need to have a serious word with myself. If my German haufrau mother was still alive she'd have had a coronary if she saw the squalor
    • tigerfeet2006
    • By tigerfeet2006 10th Apr 11, 11:19 AM
    • 13,421 Posts
    • 29,550 Thanks
    I'm another 15 min. girl as the girls on the Daily thread will attest to. I have hip, back, neck and arm problems and my house is disgusting at the moment.
    The only stupid question is an unasked one
    I now live in a country that is 4 hours ahead of the UK so you may now find I post at weird times
  • rosieben
    I ditto the advice of doing a little every day. After years of depression and struggling to keep the house tidy and clean I learned that even just 5 minutes a day can make a difference, both to how I feel and to how the house looks.

    'Never underestimate the inevitability of gradualness.'

    baby steps
    Last edited by rosieben; 10-04-2011 at 11:46 AM.
    ... don't throw the string away. You always need string!

    C.R.A.P.R.O.L.L.Z Head Sharpener
  • Buddingblonde
    I am in a similar position Buddingblonde. I am struggling to get just the daily housework done that the overdue stuff is really overwhelming me
    Originally posted by jackieglasgow
    That is exactly how I feel!! You put it so much better than I could.

    I felt so ashamed about confession to living in a tip that I have opened to large black bags and put them in the hall, one is for the next charity shop bag that comes round and the other is for the bin. The charity shop bag has 5 things in it at the moment - not great but better than what I had this morning.

    OH has been instructed to find 10 items of clothing that he no longer wears that can either go in the bin (if too tatty for charity and not suitable for dusters). As long as he is instructed he works well.

    I have a sink load of dishes soaking at the moment and then the fridge needs sorting - there is a lot of stuff out of date that needs sniffing!!!! to see what is still usable.

    All the windows are open to air the house so I am trying to start with a clear mind.

    I think I will print off the flyladys step ones and see how i get on with them.
    Last edited by Buddingblonde; 10-04-2011 at 11:46 AM.
  • kit77

    I know how you feel sometimes it's so hard to get on with things, I have fibromyalgia, work 26 hours a week and have 2 kids who I'm sure were put on this earth to make as much mess as possible.

    This week I started a diary on here with things for me to do each day. Normally i wrote this on a list in the house but no one saw it and it didn't matter if i never did it but haivng it online I feel i've got to do it. Maybe no one will read my diary but it's a mind thing for me. And so far it's working the house is actually far more organised.

    It has helped the weather being good the last few days and getting the windows open and the washing's outside.

    I would love to try flylady but at the moment I don't think i'm ready, once I have everything up to date though I will join.
  • 4nnabella
    I have read and reread the flyladies - the problem is that I often dont have the energy to do bits every day after work and I feel that the house needs more than a bit doing every day - for maintainance I can totally see the flyladies being the way forward but it would take me ages to get everything done that by the time I got to the start again the house would be in chaos.
    Originally posted by Buddingblonde
    I started following the flylady thread a couple of weeks ago, and my house is such a nicer place to live in now! Neither myself or my husband are naturally tidy people, so rooms can very quickly become cluttered, bedrooms floors disappear under piles of clothes, washing up piles up etc etc. But now I just spend half an hour most days doing one room, and it's so manageable!

    I also thought that it would take a huge amount of effort in getting my house to a 'maintenance' stage, but what I've found is that even if I only do the level one stuff, the next time you come to that room, you can do more. It's kind of like you just chip away at it and yes, it won't be perfect overnight, but it will get there eventually.

    I just had to accept that my house didn't turn into such a mess overnight, so it won't look like a show-house overnight either. It's going to take a bit of time but by breaking it down into little chunks then you can get there
    Debt Free 27.07.2011!!
  • Buddingblonde
    I am not a naturally tidy person - OH is better but not much.
    Shouldnt really spend as much time as I do online but I am trying to bits and pieces between posts.
  • renegade
    I also have problems keeping up with jobs that need doing, live on my own with my 2 dogs. It isn't inside the house that is getting me down I do try and do as much as I can everyday, but it's my garden I can't cope with,It's quite a large garden with lots of shrubs and a few evergreens, but everything needs pruning as they are all merging into one another, I have loads of weeds and the lawn is looking worse for wear with the damned foxes.I used to be so proud of my garden spent 's on it and hours and hours weeding , pruning and making sure everything was as good as it should be.Now I get thoroughly depressed just looking at it, I have made a start and lopped 2 trees down to stumps but the other problem is ,disposing of the branches, can't afford a skip or to pay someone to help me. I suffer from Arthritis in my hands which does'nt help things.
    What to do? What to do?
    You live..You learn.
  • tiff
    Its so much easier if you set yourself a task or goal. I struggle with motivation and also spend too much time online. My husband was working away for 2 weeks and came home Friday but I wanted the house to look nice for him so managed to dust the living room on Thursday and hoovered. Cleaned the bathroom and had a quick declutter of the dining room which the kids use as a dumping ground and then got up early on Friday to clean the kitchen floor and hoover the stairs. Keeping it all uptogether is my problem as cleaning is such a thankless task when you have to do it all again tomorrow.
    A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went. - Dave Ramsey
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