Help needed for interview problems

Each interview where he doesn't get a job is likely to mean he puts more pressure on himself.

Has he looked into doing some voluntary work? This may not help him directly with interviews but it may help build his confidence back up and give him something else to focus on, hopefully helping him relax abit more about getting a new job.


Have you tried mock interviews with him?

Is he claiming JSA? His advisor may be able to set up mock interviews for him to practise.

OP, I had real issues with interviews. I got made redundant a few years ago, then looked after a terminally ill relative and when I started looking for work again my confidence was shot to pieces due to depression after a bereavement, along with not being in the job market for 18 mths.

It all became a vicious circle as whenever I got feedback I lost even more confidence.

I did finally get a job. A friend got me some freelance cover in a different field, but made it clear it was only for a month or so as budgets were being cut...but I still couldn't get another job as my interview nerves weren't improving.

So I went for hypnotherapy, I've had it for other stuff before and I was so desperate. I finally did get a decent contract after that. It doesn't work for everyone but woman I saw was really good. Within two sessions it helped me. Something just clicked and I then got it together. Unfortunately when going for jobs and you're not feeling confident it can be easy to lose heart, especially in today's recession.

I'd advice your other half to do all they can to keep up their confidence (voluntary work suggestion above is great, I got chatting to people about potential roles just by going in for applications...counselling, hypnotherapy, courses, whatever you can do/afford). If you can get your partner to see someone make sure it's someone he feels comfortable with, I've seen a couple of people who weren't right. One was plain weird, other was nasty.. so if you decide to do that I'd try and get a recommendation (you are not in London are you otherwise I'd PM you details?). I've had CBT counselling for free from my docs in the past (it looks at re-framing your beliefs) but that didn't help me, others say otherwise.

The job centre couldn't help me with interview/application advice (first time around) as they saw my CV and said I was assertive, think they couldn't get why I didn't get a job, but I wasn't nervous with my advisor as it wasn't an interview. I spoke to a career advice line and I asked about doing mock interviews with others in same situation at the job centre and got laughed at as they said we may cause more harm than good if someone official didn't run it. But strangely, when I signed on for one week a couple of months ago (luckily I got called back for my contract again) I got offered a day's training to help with applying for jobs.. it was aimed at graduates and I'd just got my degree through the open uni. But they did have non-grads and it was really useful. Couldn't work out why I hadn't been offered it before. So it is worth asking.

Anyway... I am going on, but if you have any questions shout. I know it's dire to be in that situation, so wish him luck. He just needs to do what he can to not get too down.

Along with mock interviews, he should come up with and practice answers to possible questions. Have a look at the STAR method to answering interview questions

http://www.quintcareers.com/STAR_interviewing.html
http://www.mit.edu/~career/guide/star.html
http://www.cvtips.com/interview/interview-questions-and-answers-the-star-technique-interview-questions.html

It helps provide a structure to the answers and you can come up with numerous examples prior to the interivew. The benefit of it is that it helps to avoid being floundered by questions and having a stock of answers to draw from will help with the nerves.

Hope that helps.

Vested Interest Declaration……I am a Hypnotherapist and I quite often see people with similar issues – OK, have got that out of the way J

Ellie101 has provided some great advice – I am just going to add a bit more “meat to the bones” about hypnotherapy.

The basic problem is that your husband now focuses on fluffing his interviews rather than focussing on the interview itself is just a problem with the way he is thinking…. If I say “don’t think of a big pink flying elephant” then that is exactly what you think of……

He is anxious and thinking “don’t fluff the interview” so strongly that it has become his elephant…..

If he called me I would probably recommend 2 sessions (approx 75-90 mins each) about a week apart with a treatment plan something like this:

Session 1
Medical questionnaire just to ensure that he is not taking any drugs or have any conditions that may affect/be affected by his treatment
General talk about what has happened in the past and why he feels the interviews went so wrong (max 10 minutes – not a counselling session!)
Light relaxation hypnosis to get used to the sensation and allay any fears (20 mins)
General chat about how they hypnosis felt and discuss what to cover in next deeper hypnosis session (10 mins)
Deeper hypnosis session (30 mins)
- General confidence building under hypnosis
- Run through a good interview and enjoy the feelings from it
- Release of any blockages he may have
Post hypnosis chat and self hypnosis instruction (10 mins)

Homework
To write down answers to interview questions that I set
To carry out some self hypnosis every day from a CD that I provide (20 mins a day)

Session 2
Chat about how different he feels from last session (10 mins)
Light relaxation and confidence building hypnosis (20 mins)
Work through homework and use these questions as the basis for an action plan going forwards (20 mins)
Deeper Hypnosis session to focus on a good interview (either real or imagined) and how he responded to it (30 mins)
- Release of any further blockages
- Confidence building
How to use self hypnosis to focus himself before an interview and to give confidence
Finish on a high of a real confidence boost and send him out of the door looking forward to getting his teeth into the next interview!

I am “up north” and would charge £65 for each session

One of the difference between hypnosis and counselling is that with hypnosis the client does not need to reveal any of the blockages/secrets they uncover to me (or to anyone else) as it all happens inside the clients head. I always ask a client if they would like to talk about it or not – it is their choice. Some people have full on tears and can’t wait to tell me all about it, some people have just a changed facial expression and don’t want to tell me anything, both are fine with me. My sessions are very relaxed and I don’t ask clients to do anything they are “uncomfortable” with. Being under hypnosis does not mean that you blurt out your life’s secrets, in fact it is very much the opposite, trying to understand what clients say in hypnosis is one of my biggest challenges, I stick to yes/no questions and nodding or shaking heads!

The two sessions would be based on the assumption that it is “just” the interview that he is having problems with – sometimes it becomes apparent that although the interview is the “presenting problem” that some clients have huge problems in many areas of their lives, 2 sessions would possibly not be enough if this was the case (but I think you would have put more details in your OP if this was the case….)

Advice on looking for a therapist - Hypnotherapy is an unregulated industry so you have to be careful (it is moving towards regulation/self regulation thank goodness) as there are a few “interesting” therapists out there. One of the main industry registers is the GHR (General Hypnotherapy Register) which at least ensures that your therapist has a standard level of training. http://www.general-hypnotherapy-register.com/ (declared interest – I am a member) and I would also check that your therapist has proper insurance cover (ask to see a copy of the current certificate) as although this is not totally foolproof it helps. The main quality that you are looking for in a hypnotherapist is someone who works in a way that you are happy with – for example, I am a “clinical hypnotherapist” and I work in a very practical, focussed way, I don’t do “past lives or anything new age” as this is just not my style – so anyone who wants to talk about their spirit guides or auras is probably not gong to find me a good match for them, but they would be a great match for one of my colleagues who is very “new age”.

I don’t put clients in a big chair and recline them for my sessions as I think this is intimidating, I use a normal, comfy chair and everything happens whilst you are sitting upright and in a very informal way. Some clients are wary of hypnosis after seeing films or stage shows where people are “put under a spell” so if this is the case I usually recommend that they come for a short session and bring along someone for support – once most people have done a light hypnosis session they actually find that they really enjoy it and it is nothing like they thought.

Hope this gives you some ideas...

Puss
xx