What to do with my course?

Lois202 · 20 June 2017 at 9:25AM

Dear all,

I am writing to ask for an advice.

I am a 21 old girl and studying Law and Management and started my first year of university last September. My first year was simply horrible, I didn't make any friends and didn't really enjoy my course. All this cause my depression to become worse. I was able to complete my first term successfully but in my second term I couldn't cope anymore and I stop going to lectures and tutorials and did not submit any assessment or coursework or did my exams. Now I have been given the possibility to resit my exams, but I really don't know how I am going to pass since I have lost so many lectures and tutorials. Honestly, I wanted to change my course but none of the courses available seems interesting enough. And I wouldn't say I hate my course but I didn't enjoy as I wish. My tutor told me that I could change university but I have to wait for 2018/19 ucas application but I don't want to waste another year since I am already 21.
What do you advise me to do? Please help

bettyboo71 · 30 July 2017 at 12:13PM

I think that if you're not enjoying your course, and you can't find another that appeals, then waiting until next year to apply for another course might not be a bad thing.
Do something that appeals to you for that year - get a job, volunteer, travel, whatever you can afford to do.
Making friends isn't easy, and mental health issues can make difficult situations so much worse. I think you need to take some time to decide what it is you really want - you are still young and have a lot of time to decide what you want. I was 30 when I started my degree!

purplepetal · 1 August 2017 at 11:20PM

I'm not sure that the tutor is correct in that. I changed uni at the very last minute by going through clearing. It was several years ago but a very simple process.
I agree with above, it seems that a year is a really long time at the moment, when you see everyone else moving forward, but it's really not, it will fly by and you do need to make sure you are as on top of your depression as you can be.
I have chronic illness and ended up deferring my 3rd year due to ill health.
All the best, whatever you decide

dwm22 · 25 December 2017 at 3:40AM

Well done for being real about your feelings. That takes courage!
You are still very young and need not hurry. A year or two I would say is neither here nor there. What I am hearing is that you are feeling very depressed, that you are catastrophizing, thinking of the worst that could happen and maybe feeling despairing. All because your need for friendship and your need for enjoyment in your course are not being met. Those are two perfectly natural needs and it is important that you find a way to meet them.

A first step in this process could be acknowledging how depressed you are. Depression severely distorts our view of ourselves and our possibilities - things often end up looking (even lol) worse than they actually are. You are likely no different. I would warmly invite you to take up these 4 habits each morning to help you to begin to feel better:

1. Meditate for 10-15 minutes in the mornings. Meditation can be hard at first because the mind is so untrained, so you might want to start with 1 minute and go up gradually from there. There are countless guided meditations on YouTube. See how you get on. A good time for meditation can be just after breakfast.

2. Drink more water. It is practically impossible to drink too much water. As pure (I don't mean distilled) as you can reasonably manage.

3. Spend more time outside appreciating nature. Do the experiment. Try it and see how your mood compares to when you don't.

4. Move your body more. Walking a minimum of 30 minutes is a must. Try to do something that makes you sweat once a day.

If you mood is very low, don't MAKE yourself do anything. Often we can only overcome things by not pushing against them. Sometimes time and rest are the best medicine.

I hope this is helpful. Again, do not be in a hurry. Do what you want to do because you want to do it because doing it feels good to you. Follow your bliss and you cannot go wrong.

fifi35 · 25 December 2017 at 12:19PM

Hello, you have had some really good answers. This happened to my son when he was 2o. I had to bring him home from Uni he was totally depressed and in a bad way. I took him for some winter sun and told him to take his time to heal himself. He did that and he went to a uni near home and completely changed his degree. He has now graduated, has lots more confidence and has a very good job. You are still very young. TAke your time, heal yourself and make sure you get lots of support. You will get there. Good luck.

loadsacash · 27 December 2017 at 1:32PM

Glad to hear that things worked out well for him fifi35

What to do with my course?

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