Struggling with work and family

JadeyB · 23 July 2017 at 1:15AM

I recently moved to a new work location (within the same company) and work full time. For the past year my 6 year old child has really struggled with me working full time as I'll often work early mornings or late night. This results in me being out the house before she wakes up or being at work when she's picked up after school by a family member and I don't get home until she's inot bed. She's really struggled with it to the point she's had a few break downs at school where she's been in tears with me being at work. So obviously that results in me losing sleep.

I hate my job but I work full time to provide for her and show her that working hard pays off. Work has began to get a lot more stressful over the last 12 months to the point when I get home I am nearly in tears. I have started looking for new jobs that coincide more with school hours even though this will be a drop in pay. However my main issue is i'very had to pass up on job interviews because I can't get the time off of work as we are too short staffed and I am responsible for the business when I am there so can't just leave.

Recently I have thought about just handing my notice in hoping within that 4 weeks I will find a new job. I've literally got to the point I can't cope with work and upsetting my child so much. I know just hoping to find a new job within the 4 week notice period isn't the right thing to do as it would leave me with no income at all but I don't know what else to do.being a single parent is hard enough without feeling your failing your child whilst trying to do the right thing.

I have considered going down to part time but unfortunately that would suit 'business needs' at work.

My question is has anyone else been in a similar situation? Or has anyone got any advice? I really don't know where to turn or what to do for the best anymore. It breaks my heart my child is growing up and for the past 5 years I have worked over 40hours a week (normally out of school hours) and she feels she never sees me. I have to miss school plays etc as I can rarely get anyone to cover my shift.

Thanks

milliemonster · 23 July 2017 at 8:27AM

If you can afford to take another job on less hours then you must be currently earning enough so that you can save a portion of your salary each month, build up a buffer to allow you to leave and then this gives you more time to look for another job.

I guess also it depends on the work you do, what you want to do and what the market is like in the area you live?

Yes I was in a similar situation a few years ago, although I'm not a single parent and felt I was missing out on my kids so I gave my job up, retrained for a few months and dropped by £40k salary to zero while I was doing that, then got a new job after about 6 months of training on £20k, it was hard and a huge adjustment but the life I got back far outweighed the money I earned and the stress it caused me at the time

xapprenticex · 23 July 2017 at 12:35PM

family and work as a single parent is no joke. Putting the child first can be seen as you continuing working as you are or quitting depending on who you ask. If you must work then find something before leaving, you wont be getting JSA if you leave voluntarily.

I wish you all the best.

jobbingmusician · 23 July 2017 at 2:37PM

I wonder if you can set up something on Skype or similar, so that when you're not home you can talk to your child in a break at work. Might this help? It does sound as if quite a bit of your stress at work is due to worrying about your child

[Deleted User] · 23 July 2017 at 4:04PM

JadeyB wrote: »

I hate my job but I work full time to provide for her and show her that working hard pays off. Work has began to get a lot more stressful over the last 12 months to the point when I get home I am nearly in tears. I have started looking for new jobs that coincide more with school hours even though this will be a drop in pay. However my main issue is i'very had to pass up on job interviews because I can't get the time off of work as we are too short staffed and I am responsible for the business when I am there so can't just leave.

Recently I have thought about just handing my notice in hoping within that 4 weeks I will find a new job. I've literally got to the point I can't cope with work and upsetting my child so much. I know just hoping to find a new job within the 4 week notice period isn't the right thing to do as it would leave me with no income at all but I don't know what else to do.being a single parent is hard enough without feeling your failing your child whilst trying to do the right thing.

I have considered going down to part time but unfortunately that would suit 'business needs' at work.

My question is has anyone else been in a similar situation? Or has anyone got any advice? I really don't know where to turn or what to do for the best anymore. It breaks my heart my child is growing up and for the past 5 years I have worked over 40hours a week (normally out of school hours) and she feels she never sees me. I have to miss school plays etc as I can rarely get anyone to cover my shift.

Thanks

Sorry you have it bad.

Are you a Manager? They will survive without you - your child won't. No idea what you do for work but here goes

I have come across particularly stationary companies who appear the most 'child friendly' employers or how about a dual role of Customer Service/Credit Control? Offered interview under Credit Control only recently, the company involved offered either an evening interview or early morning.

Neither were really poor salaries from what I can recall.

FBaby · 23 July 2017 at 4:07PM

What arrangement do you have in place over the summer?

I know very well how you feel having been in the same position, but I would indeed raise caution at packing it all up. You need to consider the worse case scenario and what would happen if you couldn't get another job quickly especially one that offers the flexibility you are looking for.

Could you home be at risk, whether you are owning or renting? Your car?

My kids went through times when they got tired and therefore emotionally drained. This was especially the case with my boy having to go to holiday club, so I tried to mix his days, taking some days off there and then, then exchanging children with other parents so that he didn't need to go to holiday club every day. I also made arrangements with other parents so that they would take my kids to after school activities their kids went to and I would pick and drop every one back.

What I made sure to do was to remind them that the things they enjoyed, they were able to because of going to work and earning an income.

They are now teenagers and a couple of years back, I asked them if they wished things had been different and they answered no because otherwise, they wouldn't have enjoyed our special days out, activities, holidays etc...

How about looking for another job but hang on with this one until you do and explain this to your daughter?

Struggling with work and family

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