Managing someone with a big ego

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pioneer22
pioneer22 Posts: 523 Forumite
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in Employment, jobseeking & training
Hey,

I have someone in my team who is relatively new, and is good at their job. However they've been in a role which they worked solo for a significant period (10 years) I've found they have quite a big ego and quite arrogant. I have to work with them very closely and I find them quite difficult at times even though we share a lot in common in terms of attitude, political beliefs etc. This person had a go at our receptionist because putting confidential documents in the shredder "isn't in his job description" and they don't get paid to do that. We also share a 25 year age gap, I'm pretty well respected at work by my peers and my manager.

Any tips on dealing with people like this? Suck it up? Deal with it? I've been here a number of years and fully appreciate another person taking some of the workload off but I find they go from calm to angry in minutes.

Edit: I should add, I was on the interview panel and I did highlight this at the time that I thought being so long without working in a team could be a risk.
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  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229 Forumite
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    Friendly chat, 6 weeks, if no change- dismissed
  • pioneer22
    pioneer22 Posts: 523 Forumite
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    edited 7 February 2018 at 9:33PM
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    Sorry I should of been clearer, I don't manage this person I mean't to say deal with in the subject!!!
  • TELLIT01
    TELLIT01 Posts: 16,487 Forumite
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    So 'Coping with' rather than 'Managing', which in this situation makes a big difference.
    First question - Why isn't the person who is managing them doing something about it?
    Second question - Aren't they aware of the way they are treating other staff or don't they care?
    Presumably you have 1-2-1 meetings with your manager. Raise your concerns there. Other than that try to let it wash over you and let other people fight their own battles. As you raised your concerns before he started there might be resentment from management, seeing your comments as "I told you so". Tread carefully.
  • stuartJo1989
    stuartJo1989 Posts: 461 Forumite
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    pioneer22 wrote: »
    Edit: I should add, I was on the interview panel and I did highlight this at the time that I thought being so long without working in a team could be a risk.

    I see what you mean, but I don't like this comment.... Firstly, it is something which anyone can figure out just from reading the CV.

    Secondly, it is potentially unfounded! Maybe they have been working solo for 10 years, but maybe they DO have good teamwork skills! I also note how you mention the "25 years age gap" and I do wonder to what extent you may be being a bit ageist? 25 years your senior (I presume) and you feel uncomfortable with that, so try and discredit them fairly subtly at various points (starting with the interview). It is a possibility..

    That aside, I like TELLIT01's advice. Let other people fight their own battles, speak to your manager to air any grievances and just stay out of the crosshair a bit.
  • pioneer22
    pioneer22 Posts: 523 Forumite
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    stuartJo1989 wrote: »
    I see what you mean, but I don't like this comment.... Firstly, it is something which anyone can figure out just from reading the CV.

    Secondly, it is potentially unfounded! Maybe they have been working solo for 10 years, but maybe they DO have good teamwork skills! I also note how you mention the "25 years age gap" and I do wonder to what extent you may be being a bit ageist? 25 years your senior (I presume) and you feel uncomfortable with that, so try and discredit them fairly subtly at various points (starting with the interview). It is a possibility..

    That aside, I like TELLIT01's advice. Let other people fight their own battles, speak to your manager to air any grievances and just stay out of the crosshair a bit.

    Sorry I refer to the age gap as a comment which was made

    So I've been doing this for 25 years was something I've heard spouted out a couple of times. Again another comment 10 years ago I was earning 150k.

    Again re the teamwork comment, again I should add this person is used to being in an extremely senior position now is not.
  • getmore4less
    getmore4less Posts: 46,882 Forumite
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    Stick to work topics you don't have to be friends.
  • TELLIT01
    TELLIT01 Posts: 16,487 Forumite
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    pioneer22 wrote: »
    Sorry I refer to the age gap as a comment which was made

    So I've been doing this for 25 years was something I've heard spouted out a couple of times. Again another comment 10 years ago I was earning 150k.

    Again re the teamwork comment, again I should add this person is used to being in an extremely senior position now is not.

    It would seem that the individual in question has moved much further down the food chain, either voluntarily or otherwise, but can't come to terms with the fact that they are no longe in charge. That is very definitely a situation for management to sort out.
    I had a similar situation where I was the manager. Following a company take over people from various backgrounds, but all doing similar work, were brought under my control. One of them did have more technical knowledge than some of the others, but was now on their grade. That didn't stop them talking down to and belittling others at every turn. I stopped that by speaking to them privately but warning that if they did it again the discussion wouldn't be private. It worked in that instance. :)
  • trailingspouse
    trailingspouse Posts: 4,035 Forumite
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    That must be hard for him, 25 years in the business, and used to having a certain amount of authority. Whatever the reason, that would take some getting used to and some people would be able to manage it (cope with it) better than others.

    Why don't you actually use all of that experience? Ask his opinions about stuff, you never know, he might have something to contribute. Maybe that was why he was taken on.

    Are you sure it's his ego that's the problem, and not a feeling of inferiority on your part?
    No longer a spouse, or trailing, but MSE won't allow me to change my username...
  • ScorpiondeRooftrouser
    ScorpiondeRooftrouser Posts: 2,851 Forumite
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    Comms69 wrote: »
    Friendly chat, 6 weeks, if no change- dismissed

    All we have heard so far is that they are good at their job, but don't like shredding documents, which isn't part of the job they are good at, and are confident. Why exactly would you be dismissing them?
  • getmore4less
    getmore4less Posts: 46,882 Forumite
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    trailingspouse wrote: »
    Why don't you actually use all of that experience? Ask his opinions about stuff, you never know, he might have something to contribute. Maybe that was why he was taken on.

    One of the most irritating thing about lots of experience is seeing the youngsters making the same mistakes that every generation before them made.
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