Disagreements with manager and meeting with HR

Ader1 · 22 May 2016 at 3:54PM

I have had a couple of disagreements with my manager. I didn't think the disagreements were that serious in nature but she has taken it further and earlier this month I was invited for an informal meeting with HR to discuss concerns they have regarding my conduct. I thought it went very well. Two weeks later, I have received another letter from HR which doesn't seem very nice in tone and starting with how we had discussed oncerns about my conduct when interacting with colleagues. It goes on to say that I should ensure that interactions with colleagues be respectful and appropriate or my prabation period (for a new role at the company) could be extended, or possibly, depending on the circumstances, my contract be brought to an end.
I haven't been desrespectful but I get drawn into an argument with this manager as I feel she cannot rationally discuss issues. I'm now worried of even talking to her. During our meeting I said that I understand that a manager has to be listened to and that a company requires a kind of hierarchichal structure. the HR person disagreed saying that things should be done by agreement. That's why I'm pretty confused about the tone of the memo she has sent me now in order to confrim the outcomes of the meeting. This was also carbon copied to the manger in question even though it was only me and the HR person present.
I would like to know what they are up to? Is this just following steps leading to warnings and then dismissal? I'm sure the manager wants rid of me. Can't she just say that my interactions continue to be disrespectful etc then leading to further disciplinary steps? What should I do? I feel quite vulnerable at the moment.

sangie595 · 22 May 2016 at 4:03PM

Ader1 wrote: »

I have had a couple of disagreements with my manager. I didn't think the disagreements were that serious in nature but she has taken it further and earlier this month I was invited for an informal meeting with HR to discuss concerns they have regarding my conduct. I thought it went very well. Two weeks later, I have received another letter from HR which doesn't seem very nice in tone and starting with how we had discussed oncerns about my conduct when interacting with colleagues. It goes on to say that I should ensure that interactions with colleagues be respectful and appropriate or my prabation period (for a new role at the company) could be extended, or possibly, depending on the circumstances, my contract be brought to an end.
I haven't been desrespectful but I get drawn into an argument with this manager as I feel she cannot rationally discuss issues. I'm now worried of even talking to her. During our meeting I said that I understand that a manager has to be listened to and that a company requires a kind of hierarchichal structure. the HR person disagreed saying that things should be done by agreement. That's why I'm pretty confused about the tone of the memo she has sent me now in order to confrim the outcomes of the meeting. This was also carbon copied to the manger in question even though it was only me and the HR person present.
I would like to know what they are up to? Is this just following steps leading to warnings and then dismissal? I'm sure the manager wants rid of me. Can't she just say that my interactions continue to be disrespectful etc then leading to further disciplinary steps? What should I do? I feel quite vulnerable at the moment.

It's pretty hard to comment since we don't know what it is that they say you have done - you agree that you have had disagreements with your manager, but what does that mean?

But yes, You have had an informal discussion about your conduct towards your manager and, it would appear, your colleagues. If that concern continues then you will inevitably proceed to one of two things - either a disciplinary, or the termination of your probation (which means, effectively, terminating the job).

How long have you worked for this company?

ohreally · 22 May 2016 at 4:04PM

Your line manager may feel you've undermined the relationship and their preferred outcome is to have you managed out the door.

Gavin83 · 22 May 2016 at 4:31PM

You might want to ask them to clarify the points raised in the letter as you feel this has gone against what was discussed in the meeting but ultimately you might want to start looking for another job.

I'm assuming the manager asked you to do something and you disagreed with her methods. Most managers aren't going to appreciate a new employee undermining them, regardless of who's right.

Ader1 · 22 May 2016 at 4:39PM

sangie595 wrote: »

It's pretty hard to comment since we don't know what it is that they say you have done - you agree that you have had disagreements with your manager, but what does that mean?

But yes, You have had an informal discussion about your conduct towards your manager and, it would appear, your colleagues. If that concern continues then you will inevitably proceed to one of two things - either a disciplinary, or the termination of your probation (which means, effectively, terminating the job).

How long have you worked for this company?

I've been at the company for 1.5 years. I started a new role within the company two months ago.

sangie595 · 22 May 2016 at 4:41PM

Ader1 wrote: »

I've been at the company for 1.5 years. I started a new role within the company two months ago.

In that case you can be dismissed for almost any reason and there is nothing you can do about it. Get looking for another job. This one probably isn't going to last much longer.

Ader1 · 22 May 2016 at 4:44PM

I did apply for another job today. I will be looking from now on. If a new employer wants a reference from this employer then it's unlikely I'll be given a glowing endorsement. I'm between a rock and a hard place. Having said that.....I've had no complaints regarding my work. I am trying to avoid this manager and do whatever she asks of me but I don't think she's very forgiving.

Are they following some kind of protocol?

pmduk · 22 May 2016 at 6:49PM

Ader1 wrote: »

Having said that.....I've had no complaints regarding my work.

I think you should consider maintaining good working relations with colleagues and managers an essential part of your work.

martinthebandit · 22 May 2016 at 6:53PM

pmduk wrote: »

I think you should consider maintaining good working relations with colleagues and managers an essential part of your work.

This, otherwise known as 'keep your gob shut and crack on'

TELLIT01 · 22 May 2016 at 7:00PM

Bottom line is that whether you like the way your manager operates or not, they give the orders and you carry them out. There are ways of challenging things and your way clearly isn't working.
I butted heads with managers plenty of times in my working life, and honestly don't regret doing so. I'm one of those pig headed idiots who will stick to their guns if they are sure they are right. It hasn't always done me any favours, but I can live with that.
It doesn't alter what I said at the top!

pmduk · 22 May 2016 at 7:54PM

martinthebandit wrote: »

This, otherwise known as 'keep your gob shut and crack on'

I prefer to consider it getting on with people you might not like but with whom you share your working life.

Disagreements with manager and meeting with HR

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