Having a child and saving for retirement. Advice from parents & non parents alike?
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Not_Me_Officer wrote: »Well yes.
I didn't take their suggestion as literally living on the one income even though their posts suggested that.
I know we would be eligible for maternity pay. Apparently we wouldn't qualify for tax credits or whatever it's called due to my wage.
My wife would also go back to work full time (her choice through necessity) as soon as would be possible. I don't know when that would be. I guess perhaps at age 4 when the child goes to primary school. Maybe before if possible.
But yeah i would have to calculate my wage plus the maternity pay and then use this as a figure to live off month-to-month to see if we could do it. That would be the idea.
Phew. Sounds good. At the end of the day it depends on whether you two will want a child. A couple of my very good friends decided not to have any. They have a good income but their lifestyle would suffer - they can afford to sleep on the floor now in rented house because they do not have time to furnished it and they like holidays that would be incompatible with children and most importantly they are worried that their life is perfect now and the child will change it drastically and Italy end up in a worse emotional place after. I have just watched " beautiful mund" . Great movie. The message is that maths and calculations are not most important. Love is. Good luck in figuring out your life. XThe word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.0 -
No WTC entitlement yet but that's before the pension contributions that cut the income used and produce the entitlement.
Moving money from ISA to pension wouldn't be an issue.
With a savings ratio above sixty percent myself it's easy for me to understand how you could accumulate the deposit.0 -
Yeah it really wasn't hard tbh. If i had a big social life, i chucked my money down the gutter every weekend & smoked it away daily then it would've been a struggle but those aren't my things.
As i grew up i always knew i didn't want to struggle the same way my parents did. I know that doesn't tie in with having a child but as far as buying a house goes - that's why i stayed at home until i'd turned 30. On my wage it was a necessity. I didn't want to buy a 'starter house' so that i'd have to sell it and get on the next rung .... i wanted to go straight to that next rung. The only way i see us getting better right now is a detached but that's drifting off topic.
I was thinking on Friday morning as i woke. I don't know whether i read it here or in one of the many child articles i've been reading online this past week or two. At the time i never paid it any mind but it must've connected with my subconscious as i woke on Friday morning with it going through my mind .........
....and that is that i am approaching all this as a business deal. I can't help it, it's how i approach anything that costs money. I've always been like that. Sure some times i'll just buy something because i want it & at times i'll look back on things & think well that was a total waste of money, but i often approach things like a business decision - either does it make sense to spend on this or can i afford to spend on this - i want this but it costs a lot, can it work out kind of thing.
As said, i don't generally get 'excited' over things. I'm not much of an emotional person that way. So that's probably why i keep going back and forth over this as it makes zero business sense but i'd like it to happen
lol If that makes any sense 0 -
So, what is the ROI on having kids for you? They cost a fortune and will make you poorer than you could have been, so what do you think you will get back by having them?
It is not just the money. Having kids is hard work. Harder as you get older.
On the flip side, it is an experience. One of life's most fascinating experiences. Will you lie on your deathbed, surrounded by your money, and regret not having children?
Could always adopt once your future is financially secure to remove the time pressure.0 -
Makes perfect sense on the finance side, though the biggest costs and benefits are to lifestyle and emotions.0
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You either want to raise a human being, or you dont.
Finance really doesnt come into it. If it does, it generally means you arent up to it.0 -
Not_Me_Officer wrote: »it makes zero business sense but i'd like it to happen lol If that makes any sense
It is called being human
. Fascinating, isn't it - it makes no financial sense but you still ponder it and can not put your finger on why you do. The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.0 -
Abbreviations can be great ... when you know what they meanRickyB2000 wrote: »So, what is the ROI on having kids for you? I generally stick to the standard ones like lol I jump on forums and i'm stumped by so many of them
Achievement, worth, purpose, happiness (& frustration! lol), please don't analyse the words i selected. They were just the ones that came into my head first. I don't want to read any "well [word] should've been your first response" type of over analysing looking for something that isn't thereThey cost a fortune and will make you poorer than you could have been, so what do you think you will get back by having them? Not saying you would but some do.
I remember as a kid often thinking about death. I remember regularly being in tears as a very small child wondering what would happen if my parents died while i was a kid. As i got older i still thought of and worried about it a lot. Then i finally lost my dad.Will you lie on your deathbed, surrounded by your money, and regret not having children?
As i get older still i do still think about it probably too much but the focus has now shifted to myself after seeing my dad in the build up to him dying. Will i have anyone? Will my wife be around? How will she be after i'm gone (we generally assume i'll go first but anything can happen)? How will i be once she has gone? Will i be happy with what i did in life (right now i would probably say no)? Who do i leave my small worth to? What if i get dementia like some family members - who will be there for me, anyone, nobody? If i need care, what level will i get? I recently had a family member receive very poor care to the point where it was very dangerous. It was only the fact they had their kids who were out constantly checking in and looking out for them that got it sorted otherwise who knows what would've happened.
Yeah i think about death quite a bit actually. Probably too much.
I don't want to upset anyone here so i'll just say adoption is not for me, and yes i've spoken with my wife about this.Could always adopt once your future is financially secure to remove the time pressure.0 -
I do actually.You either want to raise a human being, or you dont.
I pretty much accept that my way of thinking and approaching things is different to the vast majority. I can see where they're coming from (i'm not just talking about having kids here btw) but they often can't see or agree or accept where i'm coming from. I'm used to it by now. I don't know why it's/i'm like that but it's how it is. It'd be easier to be like everyone else but that's just how it is. School, work, outside of work, online ... i've found this happening since forever so i'm just used to it by now.Finance really doesnt come into it.
So for me in this situation, i do want a child but finance does come in to it for me and it's something we're going to have to figure out or time will just decide for us, simple as that really. I'm a self confessed worrier, have been all my life. So when people in similar situations to myself say "later life? Forget that i'll deal with that when it comes", i can't do that. I worry about the now, i worry about the future. Unless i get it straight in my head that it CAN work, that's all i need - that it CAN, not necessarily will but that it's possible to work, then i worry. If i see that it is possible in my situation then i do what i can to make it work. If i see that it's impossible then i just accept the fact.
Hope that makes some sense?0 -
It makes perfect sense NMO. It is not as black and white like "you either want to or not" for many of us. May be even for most. There are "wants" on different levels . In my case having a child when I had her was due to circumstances and calculations. I did not go into a detailed calculatuons with numbers. It was enough for me to know that most likely my income alone will be enough to bring the child up. As it happened I lived in a houseshare during a good part of my pregnancy but I jsd a plan which in my mind had close to 100% chance to suceed. As it happens it did on that occasion but since then I have seen that even the best of planning can go wrong. I feel the way we think or better saying not think about death is surprising , probably a result of society conditioning. You are a bit different but it is not different in a bad way and you are not alone as I am sure you know already.The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.0
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