Keeping spirits up whilst on DMP

Gaia2014 · 31 August 2014 at 5:19PM

It's going to take me 2 years to be debt free (give or take a month or two)... Going to pay £500 which will not leave a lot of spare cash for spontaneity. Psychologically I feel that my life is going to be on hold for 2 years and my question is how do people cope (emotionally) with this time never mind put money aside for Christmas/birthdays?

I'm not where I would have like to have been in my life and this in itself makes me feel low and it's hard to be mindful of the fact that this situation is only temporary on the wider scale of things. But, 2 years feels like a long time today

Any thoughts/coping strategies/advice please?

:wall:

going_nowhere_fast · 31 August 2014 at 7:26PM

I can relate to what you say in your post. I often feel like im not getting anywhere even though bit by bit i am. I feel like my life is on hold until im debt free.@

I think realistically you need to have a bit of room in your budget for fun even if that means it will take a little longer to pay off.

Zerdi6 · 1 September 2014 at 9:21AM

I'm also on a DMP and have a DFD of 2021.

I have gone through different emotions during my DMP, at first I felt great that I had made the first step to becoming debt free and for having the support from StepChange (and everyone here on MSE, I don't post a lot but I'm always lurking

)

A few months in I started to feel like it was a never ending journey and got quite down about it.

Now my mindset to money has changed, yes I have debts and yes it's my own fault - but every month when I see my payment to StepChange go out I feel good that it's gone to my debts taking me one month closer to my DFD. At the beginning of my DMP I couldnt wait to have money again but now I'm really trying to save so when I finally reach my DFD all the money that goes on my DMP will go straight into my savings and I can't wait to see them build up finally!

Before my DMP I wouldnt think twice about going out for dinner and drinks but now I'm more than happy to have a couple of friends round to my house for a brew and a catch up.

Stick at it, we'll get there

longtermplanner · 1 September 2014 at 10:27AM

If it takes two years to be debt free, then every month at the moment you are clearing about 5% of your debt. After a while you will be clearing 10% of your debt each month, as the debt will have fallen! So you are actually making progress very quickly.

If you feel your life is on hold, then one approach is to find some new hobbies that don't involve spending money. Could you volunteer for some conservation charity (sorry just guessing there from your chosen name!)? Improve your cooking skills?

Or have a look for a second job that could earn a bit? Not only will this give you more money, but it means you will have less spare time to regret not being able to go shopping or out with your friends.

Seanymph · 1 September 2014 at 12:00PM

What exactly is on hold for you?

I can see 'if I had money I could be doing what I wanted' - but see if you can nail down exactly what that would be, because that is lazy thinking, it's easy to feel sorry for yourself, but working out exactly WHAT takes work.

Then work out how to do it anyway!

If you want a degree, then the Open University gives full grants under a certain income level as long as you do it within 6 years...

There are lots of free courses, clubs that need volunteers (I'm eyeing up riding for the disabled, I think I may volunteer there).

Do you want promotion? To travel?

Start with some goals, then work out how to achieve them - it'll be harder with no cash, but it's always possible.

So, what is it you are missing out on? What are your goals? One for this week, one for this year, one for five years. - or three for each.

Then you can work out how to do that for no money (or little money).

sourcrates · 1 September 2014 at 12:54PM

Above is good advice, I was in an IVA for 6 years, so I know how you feel, it tends to be a way of life after a while, you get used to living on a budget, and accepting you wont have the money to do the things you could do, if you had the finances.
The important point, that you have to keep reminding yourself, is that in two years, you will be debt free, its not a long time, certainly not as long as mine was !!, so best advice, just knuckle down and bear it, it will be worth the effort in the end.

Gaia2014 · 1 September 2014 at 9:06PM

Thanks for all the replies, encouraging words and perspectives. Feeling a bit better today (probably because I'm busy at work)...

Seanymph you raise some interesting points. What I want though is to have a family and unfortunately that is not an option at the moment, due to my financial circumstances and fertility issues - which is what I was really referring to when I say 'my life is on hold' (to put it into context). I realise that I can continue to work towards other goals whilst I'm on the DMP and 2 years isn't really a long time on the wider scheme of things. I am doing this by the way. One of my goals being to be debt free in 2 years :eek: My other goals are to get fit and learn to practice mindfulness (to aid relaxation).

I'm seeking support to maintain a PMA during this time because I'm feeling quite low at the moment (for other reasons besides finances). Reminding myself that this time in 2 years I'll be debt free does help though! :T I can't imagine what that will feel like at the moment though.

Mort · 1 September 2014 at 9:35PM

Being on a DMP was a drawn out almost boring existence. The goal is worth it though. I think that you should definitely have some money for your entertainment, it doesn't have to be much or frequent. The worst thing for me was watching the debts being slowly eroded away.
Birthdays were largely ignored and family Christmas presents were done through a bran tub.

pma13 · 1 September 2014 at 10:54PM

i know what you mean but i did work my budget to be a bit more manageable for me. There was a point where I began to spend beyond my means and dd failed to step change(was in denial and booked a holiday) I came off the plan. But then I pulled my head out of the sand and started again and now I have 9 months left i started in 2011 and this has given me even more motivation to get my finances in order and realise that I should actually be able to save money now!! well in 9 mths - Also I did use !!!!!! for some debts, dont know if that would be an option?

Delree · 2 September 2014 at 7:29AM

Morale is very important on a journey like this. Mine was three years. I didn't have to do a DMP so I was fortunate enough to create my own budget. I made sure that I was able to have at least one night a week in the pub as a reward.

If you can budget in a treat do so. Also two years is nothing. I'm serious my three years flew by.

Stewart_78 · 2 September 2014 at 9:13AM

It's pretty hard going from the banks best friend to a financial leper but you just have to deal with it. Often you end up spending more on things because you can't access the best deals. It's tough watching friends going out all the time and thinking nothing of spending £100 on a day out while you are making a pack lunch and thinking of places you can go for a picnic which are free.

It's hard when your kids want stuff that their mates have and you either have to sacrifice something yourself or gently explain that the money just isn't there.

I just see it as my sentence for being silly with money. I had my fun and now I'm paying for it. Big time.

Keeping spirits up whilst on DMP

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