Broken

kelz2me · 28 January 2012 at 2:49AM

Don't even know where to start, crying right now. My partner and I broke up a few years ago due to the fact he couldnt cope with my son who is registered disabled with Tourettes and I ended up with a lot of debt. Got stupidly involved with Pay Day Loans, so my fault I know, but what is done is done. Owe Quickquid 300. Payday express 400, Wonga who knows, but set up a payment plan I'm hoping they will honour at 148.00 per month, PD UK 250, Also owe credit cards and behind by one payment. Owe Mint 5200 behind by minimum payment, owe clubby 600, behind by one payment, owe Clydesdale mastercard 2900 behind by one payment or will be by end of this month. Owe Vanquish 500.

Not even sure why I'm typing all this, I know the debt I am in, right now I just feel I cannot cope. I am a single mum, my son has tourettes, he is eating, but I am not. It's so bad that we never go out, can never do anything, and I look at my son and am devastated that I have caused this. We have no money to live on and seem to feed on just pasta and sausages if we are lucky. Have beiing doing this for about 6 months and I just cannot cope anymore. I know I have been stupid, grrrrrrrr how I wish I could turn back time, but I cannot and have to deal with things as they are. Really need too set up some kind of DMP but have no idea where to start

chevalier · 28 January 2012 at 3:02AM

The first thing you should do is go to bed! I know that you have cried out for help at silly o clock, I am on a different time zone from you so didn't want to read and run. But debt ALWAYS seems worse if you are exhausted.

http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

Here is a template to note down all of your income and outgoings onto. This will give you a true (I know probably :eek::eek::eek: ) picture of your fiancial postion. When you know the worst then the only way it up. If you format it for MSE (this site), then you can copy and paste it onto this thread and you will get lots of great advice on how to sort this out.

REf the payday loans, can you get a dss crisis loan to pay these off? And on that note are you getting all of the benefits you are entitled to like carers allowance for your son, and DLA for him too? Does your ex pay any maintenance?

But these are all tomorrows things to look at. Just take it one step at a time. So make sure tomorrow that you have your rent/mortgage/ utilities and food paid, then look at working out the rest.

Good luck and hugs
chev

kelz2me · 28 January 2012 at 3:11AM

Hey Chev, thank you for replying so quickly. I know I prob did this thread out of exhaustion and hopelesness. I do get dla for my son on the very lowest rate, but no maintenance as his dad has no job. Trying to pay the important debts as rent, but kinda struggling. With regards to food, I am lucky if I have 10.00 to spend a week, but kinda manage to feed my son. I am accustomed to cup a soups myself, well at least I have lost a couple of stone lol. Thank you for your comments, more for me to think about xx

chevalier · 28 January 2012 at 6:54AM

I didn't notice whether you work, or whether you have to rely on benefits because of your son. However either way you work to put a roof over your head, clothes on your back and food in both of your bellies. THEN you pay council tax and heating. THEN you pay everyone else. If after doing a PROPER food shop you can only pay them a pound each then so be it.

Even if ex has no job can he still not lob the occasional tenner into the pot.

Ref the eating you REALLY need to do something about this. If you are not eating right then you won't be getting the right vitamins and minerals you need to be able to deal with everything else. Please talk to the Salvation Army tomorrow and ask about a food parcel. I am sure you will qualify. Also local churches may do them too, but it depends on the area.

Don't be too proud to ask for help from these people. You are in crisis. So do try.

If you can get any money together then have a look at the moneysaving oldstyle part of the forum, they have loads of REALLY cheap meals that cost pennies a head, but still are healthy. If you can even get 50 pounds to get a stock cupboard of basics together, I think they would be able to help.

Whilst I know it is humiliating to ask, but can your parents or your sons grandparents help out with a food parcel. Once you have got stores you can take advantage of reduced food in the shops to supplement them.

Ref the other debts, you could give yourself some breathing space, but just writing a standard letter saying you are in financial difficulty enclose a pound and cancel the direct debits for this month.

Once you have done a budget you can look at what you can realistically pay them, and then decide what is the best way forward from there. I should say that this option will affect your credit score, but that may be a hit you might have to take.

good luck
chev

DawnW · 28 January 2012 at 8:33AM

You might also want to get in touch with one of the free debt charities for advice? Lots of people on here have done this, and the difference it makes to their lives is amazing from what they say. As Chevalier says, you really can't continue like this. They can help with practical solutions such as DMPs, if that is the right thing for you, as well as just advising/ sympathising, which you will get a lot of on here.

I am sure someone a bit more knowledgeable than me will come along in a minute and post a link.

Take care

fatbelly · 28 January 2012 at 8:56AM

Some reading for you

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/debt-help-plan

wannabee_in_credit · 28 January 2012 at 9:10AM

Look on cccs.co.uk
They will be able to offer some advice about what is best for you.
How old is your son? Are his school able to help at all (I have a student with Tourettes in my form class so know that there is lots available here to help him).
Don't feel bad about getting into debt. It's happened to most of us on here. What you need to do is to make a plan and move forward. Everything will be looking hopeless at the moment, particularly if you're not eating properly. But there's lots of help if you know where to look. Loans and debt need to wait until after you've fed yourself, and cccs or national debtline or cab will be able to help.
Good luck

mum26 · 28 January 2012 at 9:24AM

Just wanted to reiterate the above, have a look at CCCS.co.uk, honestly they will make sure you have all the essentials covered and a budget that covers food, bills, living expenses etc properly then sort out the debt, it is such a relief when it is all in place. You must eat and look after yourself xxx

kelz2me · 28 January 2012 at 10:00AM

Many many thanks for all your replies. It's funny how the morning can shed a new light on things. Felt so hopeless last night, but feeling a lot more positive now and can see a light at the end of the tunnel. Going away to take out money I was saving for one of the loans coming off to buy food to fill up the cupboards and will be phoning CCCS today to discuss through my debts and hopefully start getting a grip on them. Again, thanks for takinig the time to read and advise.

x

Igamogam · 28 January 2012 at 10:11AM

Good luck and keep posting with your progress

chevalier · 28 January 2012 at 10:52AM

i think there is a thread on the oldstyle part of the forum, called feed a family on a fiver a day. there is also threads for cheap meals as i mentioned earlier.

You may wish to have a look in there, so that you can fill your cupboards effectively. Also if you can leave it till the evening you may find that you get more reduced meat especially to stretch the budget further.

Ref the Tourettes, is there a support group you can tap into at all?
chev

Broken

Comments

Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply

🚀 Getting Started

Categories

Is this how you want to be seen?

Get our FREE Weekly email full of deals & guides - and it’s spam-free