I've had enough....

Molanole · 9 April 2007 at 5:59PM

Warning, I'm on a big downer so don't read on if you're wobbling today......

I've had enough. One year on from my lightbulb moment and I've been sat here in tears all day. I don't have a happy, positive account of my progress to report as I'm struggling to feel positive about anything at all.

I'm sick and tired of the fact that here I am earning a really good salary, working all the hours god sends (I don't get OT btw otherwise I'd be laughing) and yet I still can't afford to get married, buy a house and such things that others have so readily.

The OH has just told me has was planning to propose for my 30th (next week) but seeing me so depressed about money today has made him realise that he shouldn't use his credit card and will have to put it off to save up. I know that's the right thing to do but it doesn't help with the fact that I'm feeling so deprived today.:(

I'm in a significant amount of debt but I'm more worried about the OH. It wasn't that long ago that I seemed to be in so much of a worse situation than him. Now I almost owe the same as him and I earn over double what he does. He's not frivolous or extravagant but he can only afford the minimums and so I have to help him out from time to time. I'm not yet in financial difficulty but I can't help but worry that we can't go on like this for ever. Especially when I am likely to be out of work in the next couple of years.

I'm downright fed up today and wondering what the point of it all is. I hate my job, I hate my financial situation, I'm fat, ugly and frumpy. Actually, I think I hate life these days.

Sorry everyone. I felt the need to get that off my chest. I hope you don't mind.:(

postingalwaysposting · 9 April 2007 at 6:08PM

Molanole i have no magic words i am arfaid but i just want to say you arnt alone in feeling like this, i was earlier today, please though take some comfort in knowing that at least you are making steps to become debt free and be able to afford that dream house and the big white wedding you dream of, stick with it hun, we are all behind you

Snaggles · 9 April 2007 at 6:11PM

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so down. You are doing so well with your debt repayment, down from 40-odd thousand to 20-odd thousand, you have such a lot to feel proud and happy about.

Your OH could propose without a ring - we couldn't afford an engagement ring when we first got together so I wore one of my own (cheap costume jewellery) until we could. He obviously doesn't think you are fat, ugly or frumpy if he wants to marry you....and how sweet to realise that running up more debt would just make you feel worse.

I hope this is just a temporary blip, and you will feel happier and more positive soon xxx

elantan · 9 April 2007 at 6:12PM

mol mol mol ...it's been so long since i spoke to you ....honey...you dont need me to lecture the soa, spending diary, utility change...so i'll just let you know you are thought alot of ...enough for the man you love to want to ask you to marry him...you know it will get better...why not instead of doing an soa do a it's a year since i've been here and so far i have thread ...i know i would love to hear how youve done...please pm me if i can help ...hugs and kisses el

msmicawber · 9 April 2007 at 6:13PM

There's something about public holidays, I think, that can depress people. It may be that you've got time to navel gaze, and being in the middle of your DFW is like being in the doldrums.

You appear to me to have shifted an enormous amount of debt very quickly, and I wonder whether you've been too draconian and not allowed yourself the odd treat. What small thing do you think you could do that might cheer you up without guilt?

As for fat, ugly and frumpy ... your OH obviously doesn't think so, so please don't allow your financial difficulties to ooze out and blight other parts of your life.

You're doing excellently to shift £16,000 odd pounds worth of debt in 7 months, so please cut yourself some slack.

sukey13 · 9 April 2007 at 6:15PM

I think you are doing well. You have realised your situation and want to get it sorted. You just need a plan to do that. You need to increase your earning to get there quicker, as long as you are not increasing your spending you'll get there in the end.

Can you get a better paid job - that you enjoy? You obviously don't like the one you are in at the moment and that is making you feel down in the dumps.

I jacked a job in once and took up temping for better money and constant change of scene.

Have you had a go at matched betting? You can make a lot of money from doing that just check these threads out...

(It's not gambling - it's extracting the free money that gambling sites will give you)

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=407281&highlight=matched+betting

You will need a betfair account in order to lay bets...

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=16382

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=421069&highlight=matched+betting

southernscouser · 9 April 2007 at 6:25PM

My advice.

Go out and spend loads of money! Use the credit card. Buy that engagement ring. Get married abroard. Brand new plasma. DVD recorder. New sports car.

Then how will you feel? More than 18 months of amazingly bloody hard work down the drain. Materialistic goods that are all superficial. A sports car that keeps breaking down and leaks when it rains.

Or carry on as you are. Having made superb inroads having paud of £16k in only 18 months odd! Enjoying what you have got, not what you haven't. Remembering what is important in life. Your health and your loved ones.

Keep your chin up hun, do are doing bloody brilliant.

Snaggles · 9 April 2007 at 6:29PM

Or just go out and buy some really expensive car mats (sorry ss

) - then frame them, hang them over your fireplace and use them as a reminder not to spend, and also of a reminder of the friends and supporters you have made on here.

immoral_angeluk · 9 April 2007 at 6:30PM

Massive hugs.. just wanted to suggest that you take a good long look at your sig. what you've achieved is amazing and you should be so so proud of yourself. Why can't you get married?????? We're in debt and with a really low income but we managed to get married and have a honeymoon for less than 2k. It's all about prioritising. Getting married is about more than how much you spend on massive dresses and flower schemes...

dawnybabes · 9 April 2007 at 6:30PM

(((((hugs)))))

When my hubby proposed he gave me a piece of green hosepipe - perfect ring sized ! I still have this in a box 15 yrs on .....

clarab_3 · 9 April 2007 at 6:37PM

Oh honey don't be like that - obviously your OH loves you very much and you've come so far so very quickly... what does a ring matter? (of course there are ways and means of getting a ring if that is what you both decide to do... and Im sure the guys on here will give you good advice there)

I must ask (because it could save you a lot of money, and take you a huge step closer to your DFD) Have you got PPI on your Egg Loan? I cancelled mine and took out independent payment insurance. Egg couldnt have been nicer about it (it took 1 phone call) and it knocked £2500 off my £8000 loan... I now pay £5 a month in insurance on my payments instead. A huge boost.

Happy to help if I can - hang in there xx

I've had enough....

Comments

Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply

🚀 Getting Started

Categories

Is this how you want to be seen?

Get our FREE Weekly email full of deals & guides - and it’s spam-free