Stress and Worry

Legacy_user · 26 November 2006 at 12:12PM

I was going to post on the depression thread until I read the first couple of pages and realised I'm probably not depressed in the true sense of the word (thank God).

However I'm a glass half empty person, always have been and unless someone gives me hope I probably always will. I worry about everything and to be honest I'd hoped that now my kids are older (18 & 21) and money is not the huge worry it once was I would be happier but I'm not.

The list of things which constantly occupy my mind now are:

Eldest DD is far away in China studying and won't be home for Xmas.

Youngest DD is in final year at school and I'm worrying she won't get grades for uni course she wants to do.

Dad aged 72 is frail due to massive op to remove oesophagus and part of stomach last year.

Youngest brother is going through really nasty divorce from adulterous wife who is using kids as bargaining chip and the only people he has to support him are me and my dad who really doesn't need the stress.

Xmas Day is going to be hard because brother will be here and probably not on best form as kids won't be with him. He'll be with me on Boxing Day too and hopefully with the kids, for his sake, but they are little terrors. I'm not looking forward to Xmas at all.

My job, which I love, is a temporary contract and although it was recently extended for another 6 months from April 07 to Sept 07 I'm worrying I will be made redundant.

My DH has been offered the opportunity to retire from his job with a very generous package within the next couple of years. But even though he hasn't decided when to go I'm worried about what he will do after that as he is only 46 at the moment and we definately couldn't afford for him to stay at home twiddling his thumbs all day.

I find it hard to get motivated to do anything and the house constantly seems to be a mess/dusty. I would love to work part time so I have more time to keep the house and do more baking/cooking like I did when the kids were small. That however probably would be a bad thing as I would put on more weight and be even fatter than I am now.

There, I've moaned long enough and I know my problems are not as bad as a lot of other peoples but I'm waking at 4 a.m. in the morning thinking about things and this is making me more tired and worried. When I'm like this I tend to withdraw into myself and my DH is then worried about me.

Do anyone know of any natural remedy that I could buy, and where I would get it, to help me sleep and lighten my mood. And any techniques for dealing with these things in my head would be great too.

Ted_Hutchinson · 26 November 2006 at 1:38PM

Living Life to the Full Website[SIZE=-1]Cognitive Behaviour Therapy Life skills course. [/SIZE]
This FREE online cognitive behaviour therapy course may be just what you need to see which of your problems you can resolve and those where control isn't within your power and which you simply have to work through as best you can.

Netdoctor have online the Goldberg's test Do you have depression? Take the test to find out.

As you know the site doesn't allow anyone to give medical advice here but as it isn't moneysaving to waste money on supplements which have too little active ingredient to be effective. So a visit to the calculator at Mental Health Foundation Feeding minds would probably be a good starting point. They suggest Magnesium for insomnia related problems and I've found this to be very good. The MSE way to buy Magnesium Choride is to get a 25kg sack for £6.75 from your local agricultural or building supplies merchant. It's used in animal feeds to calm them and builders merchants may have it to put on the drive to melt snow/ice (worth buying for that alone as it's as cheap as salt and doesn't damage the drive or plants) you can put a jugful in your bathwater and soak for 20mins in Dead Sea Salts for 25p or put half a jugful in a bowl of water and just soak your feet. The magnesium will go through your skin and help you sleep. If you want to consume it magnesium: foodsources shows you where to find it. As it is water soluble if you don't want to tip the magnesium away with the water your veg was boiled in then STEAM your greens. or use the cooking liquor in the gravy sauce. You can also dissolve 50g of Magnesium chloride in 150ml of water and put a teaspoon of that in your food or a fruit juice, It's bitter/salty flavour is not very nice on it's own so needs masking.

I'd also like you to consider their Exercise and Depression webpages. Getting out for a good long walk every weekend is a very good way of walking through your problems. Walking Health Initiative WHI Walk Finder

The Mental Health foundation website doesn't pay much attention to Vitamin D and Depression so read the stuff at that link and consider buying from the best supplier linked to from that website. Since I've been keeping my vitamin d up to summer status I've no needed to use my sadlights. Their still in the loft as I find it's better not to be depressed than to just treat the symptoms.

Tiff_2 · 27 November 2006 at 7:49AM

Pam17 wrote:

I was going to post on the depression thread until I read the first couple of pages and realised I'm probably not depressed in the true sense of the word (thank God).
However I'm a glass half empty person, always have been and unl
ess someone gives me hope I probably always will. I worry about everything and to be honest I'd hoped that now my kids are older (18 & 21) and money is not the huge worry it once was I would be happier but I'm not.
The list of things which constantly occupy my mind now are:

Eldest DD is far away in China studying and won't be home for Xmas.

Youngest DD is in final year at school and I'm worrying she won't get grades for uni course she wants to do.

Dad aged 72 is frail due to massive op to remove oesophagus and part of stomach last year.

Youngest brother is going through really nasty divorce from adulterous wife who is using kids as bargaining chip and the only people he has to support him are me and my dad who really doesn't need the stress.

Xmas Day is going to be hard because brother will be here and probably not on best form as kids won't be with him. He'll be with me on Boxing Day too and hopefully with the kids, for his sake, but they are little terrors. I'm not looking forward to Xmas at all.

My job, which I love, is a temporary contract and although it was recently extended for another 6 months from April 07 to Sept 07 I'm worrying I will be made redundant.

My DH has been offered the opportunity to retire from his job with a very generous package within the next couple of years. But even though he hasn't decided when to go I'm worried about what he will do after that as he is only 46 at the moment and we definately couldn't afford for him to stay at home twiddling his thumbs all day.

I find it hard to get motivated to do anything and the house constantly seems to be a mess/dusty. I would love to work part time so I have more time to keep the house and do more baking/cooking like I did when the kids were small. That however probably would be a bad thing as I would put on more weight and be even fatter than I am now.

There, I've moaned long enough and I know my problems are not as bad as a lot of other peoples but I'm waking at 4 a.m. in the morning thinking about things and this is making me more tired and worried. When I'm like this I tend to withdraw into myself and my DH is then worried about me.

Do anyone know of any natural remedy that I could buy, and where I would get it, to help me sleep and lighten my mood. And any techniques for dealing with these things in my head would be great too.

Good morning Pam

I hope Monday finds you well hun. I'll answer your last question first.

No-one on this thread, or any other, can prescribe or advise you on drugs angel . So, step 1 is to make an appointment with your GP - and before you ask Pam, no, you're not wasting their time, they have heard it all before so don't feel embarrassed and there are many options available. Your GP will be able to accurately diagnose whether you have depression or not and then tailor your help to whatever your needs are.

I can completely understand why you feel the way you feel Pam. If you were bouncing around, saying everything was fine, then I'd be worried.

Any of those situations would be difficult for anyone to manage.

Pam, you're doing well by recognizing that you're struggling and seeking advice. I have to say angel, that the depression thread is a great thread with very friendly, non-judgemental people who share a wide range of experiences, give advice on benefits and lend an ear when one is needed. We usually have an insight on what resources there may be depending on someone's situation.You can even get tips on different relaxation techniques that people have found to be successful.

The people there are managing many kinds of mental ill health. Stress & anxiety are common, as is depression, but there are many different levels of depression, stress, anxiety etc. I never thought for one minute, that half the things that have worked for me, actually would work for me. But they did. Most people feel doubtful of finding successful help especially in mental ill health situations.

So hun, your first stop is your dr - you deserve some support in whatever form it takes. Feel free to pop over to the other thread any time for a chat Pam... tell them Tiff sent you!;)
Wishing you a great Monday angel. Be kind to yourself.

Best wishes,
Tiff x

iceicebaby · 27 November 2006 at 3:51PM

Hiya Pam, hugs for you .

Don't really have anymore to add to what Tiff said, she has said it all.

Just wanted to add my hello and support xx

victory · 27 November 2006 at 3:56PM

hi, I guess the solution is to tackle each worry/stress in turn as if you get so many as you say iti is over-whelming and life looks darker than it actually is.
One at a time and slowly-write down pros and cons, write yourself a letter detailing what each worry means, analyse them, try to break them down and slowly move on to the next one.. xxx

System · 27 November 2006 at 7:42PM

I'd like to thank you all for your replies. I was so touched by the warmth from you all.

I tried the Goldberg test (thanks Ted) and to be honest I was shocked to discover that apparently I have moderate to severe depression. I just thought it was my age and me being more aware of me being pessimistic and then guilty for being so sad.

I intend to research more fully using the links provided by Ted as I would prefer not to resort to drugs if I can possibly avoid it. I would spend too much time worrying that I would become dependent on them.

If my mood can be lightened by modifying my diet and exercise regime then that's good. I'm not suicidal just worn down with worry and lack of sleep and hopefully the links provided by Ted and the information available on the numerous posts on the depression thread will help me. If not I will not hesitate to see my GP.

Thanks again for the help, it means a lot to get constructive help from others who understand what I'm on about.

oldandhappy · 27 November 2006 at 9:32PM

Really good info from Ted...plus myself I take 5HTP for improved sleep along with Mag at night which is so important it seems. You can change your life feelings around but it takes time and some researching...but so so worth it. Good advice can come easy but take time to check up and double check and when you feel it makes some sense follow some natural remedies. Just what I have found works for me. Mrs Happy

Tiff_2 · 28 November 2006 at 6:18AM

Hi Pam.:wave:
I'm glad you feel that you've got several options open to you hun. I hope you'll feel better soon. May I just say that it's probably a good idea to see GP first hun rather than last? I am not saying that the answers you've been given on this thread are wrong at all, but there is wisdom in getting an accurate assessment from a professional dr before you experiment with other options.

Self-administered tests do not always give the most definite diagnosis. Also if you are on any kind of medication or have any other medical conditions
angel, this could adversely affect you, if you self-prescribe. Natural remedies are still medication angel and have to be treated with the same caution. Your GP will be able to refer you to a dietitian who will be well versed in foods that can affect your mood.

As I said hun, there are other options than anti-depressants but your own GP knows you best and will advise you. You could run any ideas past your GP first to be sure and your GP will be aware of what's happening with your health - always a good idea!;)
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Stress and Worry

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