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MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Should The bridesmaid pay to attend the wedding?
olycom
Posts: 1 Newbie
Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:
Susan has been asked to be bridesmaid at her cousins wedding which she is more than happy to do. But at the last minute the wedding plans change and it's decided that the wedding will be held on board a cruise ship.
This idea is run past Susan, she goes along with it so long as her boyfriend can attend, otherwise she'll be the odd one out as everybody else attending is part of a couple.
The boyfriend agrees to attend for the sake of his girlfriend but it's not cheap at over £1000 per person. Susan was always led to believe that at minimum a part of the cost would be paid on her behalf. This left them in a position were they had to pay all her boyfriends cost, a little towards her own cost and save for spending money.
But it now appears that the original gesture made to Susan that at least some of her cost would be paid on her behalf has been withdrawn by her family after Susan paid the deposits. This leaves Susan and her boyfriend in a position were they need to pay over £2000 to attend the wedding as well as spending money for a fortnight.
The couple paid their deposits months ago but since have had some bad luck in that Susan lost her job and her boyfriend is on a temp contract. They are struggling financially and cannot see a way to meet the costs of attending the wedding but at the same time Susan feels she cant back out.
Everyone keeps saying what a wonderful holiday it will be to divert away from the issue of cost to the couple. But as Susan's boyfriend points out - it was a holiday they had no say in as a couple and it was a lot to ask of them just to meet his own costs (which he doesn't mind) but to pay for his girlfriend to be a bridesmaid is asking a little to much.
Susan feels like she can't win and is stuck in the middle.
Is it right that Susan is asked to pay over a £1000 to be bridesmaid at her cousins wedding?
Susan has been asked to be bridesmaid at her cousins wedding which she is more than happy to do. But at the last minute the wedding plans change and it's decided that the wedding will be held on board a cruise ship.
This idea is run past Susan, she goes along with it so long as her boyfriend can attend, otherwise she'll be the odd one out as everybody else attending is part of a couple.
The boyfriend agrees to attend for the sake of his girlfriend but it's not cheap at over £1000 per person. Susan was always led to believe that at minimum a part of the cost would be paid on her behalf. This left them in a position were they had to pay all her boyfriends cost, a little towards her own cost and save for spending money.
But it now appears that the original gesture made to Susan that at least some of her cost would be paid on her behalf has been withdrawn by her family after Susan paid the deposits. This leaves Susan and her boyfriend in a position were they need to pay over £2000 to attend the wedding as well as spending money for a fortnight.
The couple paid their deposits months ago but since have had some bad luck in that Susan lost her job and her boyfriend is on a temp contract. They are struggling financially and cannot see a way to meet the costs of attending the wedding but at the same time Susan feels she cant back out.
Everyone keeps saying what a wonderful holiday it will be to divert away from the issue of cost to the couple. But as Susan's boyfriend points out - it was a holiday they had no say in as a couple and it was a lot to ask of them just to meet his own costs (which he doesn't mind) but to pay for his girlfriend to be a bridesmaid is asking a little to much.
Susan feels like she can't win and is stuck in the middle.
Is it right that Susan is asked to pay over a £1000 to be bridesmaid at her cousins wedding?
0
Comments
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I don't think it's right. Especially since the offer of paying part/all of Susan's costs has been withdrawn just after deposits were made. It's not unheard of for bridesmaids to maybe pay for their own dresses, or shoes etc. But £1000 is getting silly.
It also sounds like each guest is expected to cough up £1000 (Susan's boyfriend is). If I were a guest at that wedding I'd have to turn down the invite, it's far too much; and then you have spending money, present money etc.
I'd explain to the family that because of the job situation, I could no longer afford it and that unfortunately I would no longer be available as bridesmaid. If the family really cared that much about Susan being there, they would put their original offer back on the table (and with a fortnight wedding on a cruise ship I think we can assume the family is well off).
If not, then just wish them well, get them a card and pressie for their return.Do good deeds and you could raise the curtain, do good deeds and you could really raise your life....0
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