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Laura

I was scared to tell my OH about my debts - it took me about 3 months to do so. We have no joint bills other than council tax and mortgage. I told him I had a problem with debts, he offered to help - I refused as I had got myself into this mess I just didnt tell him the amount. I am on a DMP and he has recently got finance for a new car.

You will feel better for telling him he may be angry at first. Good luck xx

Hi
As the others have said, it is hard to admit your debt to your other half.

Go into the search box at the top of this page and search for the thread to Jodan. Take the time to read ALL of her postings and the support she has got from this forum to deal with the situation you are in.

I KNOW you probably feel sick to your stomach at the moment, but you will deal with this a lot better if you can be open about it.

To get out of this will require a lot of changes - and hubby will undoubtedly notice them. Pluck up ALL of your courage, sit him down and explain.

Of course he will be angry at the outset - but when he sees that you have taken some definate steps to doing something about this I am SURE he will support you.

You don't need the stress of secrets between you at this time.

I have only recently joined this forum myself, and I am therefore talking from current, personal experience.

Good luck and keep posting. We're all here for you (Hugs):)
x

Hetty

Hi Laura,
I also hid my debt from my other half a few years ago - £35,000 worth of it! :eek:

He 'found' a credit card statement one day and hit the roof which is when it all came out.
He said he didn't give a cr4p about the money, it was the fact that I'd been lying and keeping it from him that hurt.
I know it's a horrible situation but you will need to tell him, PLEASE don't wait until he finds out of his own accord, because he will.
Read Jodan's thread, > http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1863011
she's in a similar situation to you but has just told her other half.
Start to sort out what you're going to do about it with the help of this site and the support of all the lovely people.
DO NOT go to a debt company!!!!!!!!!!!

This way when you tell your hubby, you're not just saying 'We're in debt.' You're saying 'This is the situation and this is how we're going to get out of it.'
...Linda xx

laura_1 wrote: »

Hello,

I am posting for the first time, as i have only just discovered this forum.
My name is Laura and i have got myself into a terrible situation that i do not want my husband to know about.
Bascially i have
Loan 6,500 left
credit card 2,500
3 ongoing payday loans
2 storecards 750

I am struggling to meet these payments and am totally out of my depth. I contacted a debt management company yesterday who can reduce my payments to £140 pcm over 5.5 years.
Would i need to tell my husband, we have completely seperate finances, i am not on the mortage or any other utility bills.
I know the simple option would be to tell him and deal with it but i really cant.
What is the long term implications, i know i would be bad credit rated but what about him, does it go on the name or the home address ?
Thanks in advance

Laura x

Hi hun, don't know if you took advise and had a look at my thread (jodan), but thought I'd drop you a line and let you know that your exactly where I was a week ago. £21000 of debt and petrified of telling hubby. Came on here and was given loads of advice.
I told hubby and he was of course angry but a week later and he's supporting me (not by paying of debt, cause that's mine to deal with) but he his backing me. Am saving money on amenities by changing providers, have joined review sites to earn bit extra, and most important have joined cccs who are arranging a dmp for me. Have sent letters and nominal cheques to creditors and feel at last that I am making a start on clearing debts. This will feel like the longest week of your life but believe me when you make that 1st step you will feel much better. Everyone on here is bloomin brilliant and they want to help you with advise and support.
Good luck making that 1st step and I'll keep an eye on your thread.
Sorry for waffling on but just know we're all here for you.:kisses:

To truely deal with debts i believe you need to be honest. Honest with yourself, honest with your situation and honest with others. Thats not to say you need to tell everyone around you all the details but i found once i started to be completely honest not only did i feel liberated but my debt problem became easier to deal with. Tell your OH, he may be angry but after being on here he will be able to see that you are trying to change the situation and his support will help you especially during those times when it all seems impossible.