will my baby be happy as an os baby?

thrifty_sue · 3 March 2006 at 2:18PM

I was just wondering how people felt their children reacted to OS? I have been using alot of the tips posted on this forum, and have found it invaluable as well as saving us a bundle..

However, I am concerned about how my baby who is now 5 months will feel as he grows up. I hope he won't grow resentful that we weren't able to always afford goods that other families may take for granted and were having to buy tesco value and from cheaper stores etc...

I try to give him all the love possible, but I still can't help feeling guilty.

phizzimum · 3 March 2006 at 2:47PM

please don't worry...just think about all those children of the rich and famous who end up in rehab in their teens...money does not equate with happiness!

We lurched from one financial disaster to another throughout my childhood. It wasn't going without that I found hard it was the ups and downs and never knowing where I stood. But as a result I've always found living cheaply came naturally - an important skill when you leave home! My friends who had whatever they wanted have found it hard to live within their means and some have ended up in debt.

Love and stability are much more important to a child (a cliche but true!)

wishingonastar_3 · 3 March 2006 at 2:52PM

gosh that touched my heart, i know just how you feel. since i have been on my own with my dd, (coming up for 5 years now) we have lived very much os, but there have been times when i've wondered how it affects her, and if people look at her different as she don't have all the latest toys and games etc.
however, she seems to thrive on it, i offered to take her out to a local farm centre as a treat last sunday, and the answer was, "what??? we aren't going to bake for the week????" i think its great in a way, she can sew buttons, will make and mend, and rarely asks for things, and i always feel a little smug when i see kids having an "i want" tantrum that dd has learnt through our way of life that material things are not important. her friends love coming for tea, they never flinch at value or bargain foods, or the fact i'll quite often say, your having this, it needs eating up quick. they always enjoy playing games such as board games etc when they come, and the tv is rarely on for her, or her friends when they come, as she is great at finding things to amuse herself, and finds it dull sitting in front of the tv.
what kids need more than anything is your time, love and affection, and it sounds like your giving your baby all this, you can't buy these things with material possesions, and they will grow up to know that they don't need the latest this that or the other to get through life, they need love, companionship and pride in themselves. I wish i'd had more of an os upbringing, then maybe it wouldn't have taken me so long to realise whats truly important in life.
i think your a great mum for doing these things, and though i can't guaruntee no one will ever critise you for being os, its something to be proud of.
best of luck,
love

woas.

Joannaclaire · 3 March 2006 at 2:55PM

Not a mum (yet) but surely all a child needs is a loving family, good healthy food, warm clothing and stimulation to help them grow and learn.

All the designer baby outfits and must-have toys are just a media ploy to make you part with your hard earned pennies and make the toy and baby gear companies more profits. Spending limitless amounts of cash on your offspring doesn't equate with a stable and happy childhood - just look at all the rich and famous who are rolling in money, yet split up, or have problem children.

Also not having the latest whizz-bang things means that the child uses his/her imagination more and learns better problem-solving techniques. Also they learn the value of saving up for somthing with their pocket money, as opposed to having everything given to them on demand. I know what I'd prefer for my children.

As a child my parents didn't buy everything that all our peers had, although they did give me opportunities to try music/ballet/sport lessons. At the time I was a little miffed when my friends had trendy trainers/barbie dolls etc and I didn't, but now I respect their decision, as I am now a very good moneysaver, creative and appreciate that you work hard for rewards rather than putting instant rewards on the credit card.

Trow · 3 March 2006 at 2:56PM

Our kids don't even notice - branding was a huge thing in the 80's, and I think probably the people that "suffer" worst in that area are people of my age that grew up at that time... and my kids love home baking and home cooking, and some of their friends enjoy coming here for homemade bread etc. - although one said to me that she didn't think I should bake so much because it wouldn't be a treat for my kids - I explained that the shop bought biscuits and chocolate bars that she eats on a daily basis had ingredients that weren't as good as the ingredients that I used in my baking, and that I'd rather be sure of what my kids were eating regularly, and have the shop bought stuff as the treat. She just said 'Oh, I didn't know that' and went off quite happy.

MDUK · 3 March 2006 at 2:58PM

love and attention

kids do not choose material items, we do

You do what you have to do, your child will always love you

thriftmonster · 3 March 2006 at 3:06PM

Be honest with them as they grow up - ie don't be afraid to say, I'm sorry we can't afford that this month. My kids have always understood this and they're pretty good now - in fact the 10 year old will sometimes say - can we afford it - if we suggest doing something. They understand much better if they know why you're saying no.

And there are actually quite a lot of free & cheap activities out there

troll35 · 3 March 2006 at 4:04PM

I was brought up OS. My grandparents were sheep farmers in the north pennines. They lived very much hand to mouth. We would often go out and collect seasonal foods from the woods and hedgerows. My parents have always been mostly OS, money being tight when I was a small child. Then as my parents grew more prosperous they couldn't forget their relatively deprived upbringing and wouldn't spend unless necessary (except on useless kitchen gadgets which to still insist on buying like children in a sweet shop?!?). It was instilled into me never to have credit and never to have a loan except a mortgage. I'm carrying this through to my son. Despite being comfortable with our income we've always told him we can't afford things that we felt were unnessesary. If he wants anything badly enough he saves for it. As wishingonastar says love, companionship, consistency etc are the things children need not high priced gimmicky labels.

Oooh must stop there got to go on school run aaaaagh.

Rikki · 3 March 2006 at 4:10PM

If you bring your children up to value what they have and what you can give them you will end up with a well balanced child.

My favourite phrase to my children on hand me downs when they ask is this new is ' its new to you'.

HOLsale · 3 March 2006 at 4:13PM

thrifty_sue wrote:

However, I am concerned about how my baby who is now 5 months will feel as he grows up. I hope he won't grow resentful that we weren't able to always afford goods that other families may take for granted and were having to buy tesco value and from cheaper stores etc...

I try to give him all the love possible, but I still can't help feeling guilty.

well you'll be able to afford MORE by being OS than if you weren't

believe me, my mother was so NOT OS that it hurt, me! she was raised upper middle class and fought kicking and screaming against us being below the poverty line. she taught me how horrible it is to be poor and nothing about making the best of what you have and learning to enjoy it

you're little one won't know anything different until he goes to school by then he'll probably not care so much and you'll both be able to come up with ways to combat snobbishness

you're doing him a GREAT SERVICE by being OS, just make sure you include him in what you're doing and teach him as a matter of course, it will serve him very well in life

i only got where i am today as rebelling against how awful my mother brought me up, she caused me a LOT of problems with her poor attitude towards money. believe me, you're doing the right thing :T

lucym · 3 March 2006 at 4:25PM

Just make sure you don’t do what my mother did and add knitted extensions (multicoloured at that) to sleeves and trouser legs on outgrown clothing. :eek:

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will my baby be happy as an os baby?

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