OK... debt diary of a new mum!

Hi all,

I posted a thread last night and have decided I will try to do a proper SOA now and see if I can get some help sorting everything out. I am finding it so confusing that I just want to give up but I know that's not the best way to do things.

A little background first.

My DF has never been very good with money. He is impulsive and tends to buy now and think about where to borrow the money to pay with later. His pattern tends to be that he will keep pushing his account to the limit, extend his overdraft to deal with it and then get a loan to pay it off when it begins to scare him, usually getting the loan from the quickest and easiest place to do so - Lloyds, his bank. Of course the loan is at a higher rate than the interest on the overdraft would have been, but because his bank is in credit again he thinks it is under control.

Then he met me I'm not particularly brilliant with money, but I hate being in debt and having debts I don't feel I can pay back scares me so I tend to push my account to its limit and then just not spend any more money at all. The difference is that I want to change and cut back and he doesn't seem to want to do that.

Basically out of two money situations;
A: Having a bank balance of £10 with no overdraft,
and
B: Having a bank balance of £-250 with a £400 overdraft,
I would feel much more secure with A and he would feel much more secure with B. In fact he would feel quite panicky with situation A and I would feel quite panicky about situation B. This is the problem!

I also find it very difficult to explain to him how certain things work. I am quite mathematically minded and he isn't, so if I explain that paying £25 a month for £500 interest free on his overdraft does not in fact save him any money at all, he doesn't seem to want to know - I don't know whether this is related to his male pride being dented that a female knows better than him or because he just likes being right even when he is proved wrong! I suspect he may listen if a male friend pointed this particular point out but for the moment he's stuck with me so never mind! :rotfl:

So far the steps I/we have taken towards being debt free are:
- Tried to speak to DF about money (didn't go very well because I find it difficult to explain in a way he understands and he just gets frustrated that I am not bringing in a wage so tends to get angry when we try and talk about money.)
- Apply for all benefits and tax credits we are eligible for but previously thought were too much hassle, or didn't realise we were entitled to.
- Change the car for one with cheaper insurance, and which is more economical and practical. Not very moneysaving initially but I think it will save us money in the long run.
- Start a thread here for support!

And still to do is:
- Work out a full S.O.A and post it here.
- Work out how much our bills etc are each month and what we should be expecting as at the moment they are all over the place and I have no idea what is paid when and how much it is.
- Open a current account in my name to deal with the household bills, as I will be at home all day.
- Find a way to pay off the overdrafts we have and stop the ridiculous interest which is causing us to pay bank charges.
- Reclaim all bank charges or at least try to.
- Find a way to talk to DF about money without him feeling I am lecturing him like his mum does, and that he understands.


In the short term we have borrowed money using the overdraft(s) and used quite a bit of this months' bills money to get the new (well, used!) car sorted. This sounds drastic and was probably not the best way to go about it, but it was a very good deal and will definitely be worth it in the long term. But we need to get enough money by the end of the month to pay off the next big bill which is scheduled to come out. We are at the limit so DF is panicking although I can see it is just about under control. I am worried that if it takes too long to get something sorted he will "fix" the problem himself by getting quick cash from Lloyds or a loan shark which will make everything much worse so I want to ideally find something to sort our immediate problems by the end of the week, although he is talking about it being sorted today. :eek:

I have just emailed him asking for a list of DDs and SOs which come out of the account and when they do as these are likely to be the unavoidable costs or the ones we will incur charges if we miss.

Oh and the title is in reference to the baby which is due at the end of September amongst all this chaos! I know it will take longer than a couple of months to sort so by the time it is sorted I might not even be a new mum any more but a rather more experienced one!