I stumbled, then there was an avalanche!

amarillo_2004 · 17 April 2005 at 9:41AM

Does this happen to other people? Is there a method that works for stopping it?

I had been doing well this week. Packed lunch for work, reading the paper online, sticking to the list when food shopping etc etc. THEN I found myself sheltering from the rain in a charity shop. One new handbag later (£7: of course I didn't need it, but it was lovely and its like making a donation...) the avalanche started. I couldn't get my purse shut again all day. Bought nibbles I didn't need, book, cd, make up - stuff, stuff & more stuff.

Can't make myself add up what it all cost - but I bet its more than I'd saved by being good all week.

I know this pattern in me. Its the same as when I diet.

How do I regain control of me when the first little slip happens?

Bennifred · 17 April 2005 at 9:44AM

I'd love to know the way of overcoming this one - it is just what I do, too! Especially when dieting, and then I get so annoyed with myself - where is my self-control??! Waiting eagerly for suggestions......

Curry_Queen · 17 April 2005 at 10:01AM

I can so relate to that too

It's like you make one slip-up and think to hell with it and go on a binge. This happens in almost every area of my life - be it food, spending, drinking etc ... *sigh*

I'll also be keeping an eye out for any good tips ... short of psychotherapy, not sure how else to deal with it

amarillo_2004 · 17 April 2005 at 10:55AM

I have made myself go back to the shops & return the book & the cd.

It was really embarassing - there was a queue listening to me say, effectively "I am a grown woman with no self control and no money either". But perhaps the humiliation will be a good lesson? So its not as bad now as it was first thing this morning.

I am grounding myself for the rest of today: I obviously can't be trusted in the outside world so I'll not go past the garden gate.

Queenie · 17 April 2005 at 11:11AM

amarillo_2004 wrote:

I have made myself go back to the shops & return the book & the cd. .

Well DONE!!! :A ((hugs)) That was the very best thing to do!

One way you may like to try, is when you get the urge to splurge, is to note down all the things you see (plus prices!!!) and would grab recklessly in that devil-may-care-to-hell-with-it moments. Call it "window shopping"

If you still feel you *need* those items one week later ... then, choose just *one* as a reward for having been soooo good on the packed lunches etc. throughout the week.

We *all* fall down, money/diets/whatever - the *real* trick is to say to yourself, "Ok, one bad day doesn't make me a bad person! I'll just take one day at a time." Or, one shopping trip at a time even

Have you written down your money saving goals? Whether you're doing it to pay off a debt (or more!) withing X amount of time or if you're doing it to save up for something in X amount of time, have your goals written down prominently so you can see them daily to keep you focused. When the urge to splurge starts to take a grip, ask yourself: "If I spend X on this, how far BACK am I setting my goals?" (you may be surprised how much you are setting yourself back in terms of time!)

Another technique to incorporate.
You need "rewards" to keep you motivated, to thank yourself for discipline's you've committed to in order to reach your goal and to save you from any feelings of deprivation! Have you given yourself a budget for a regular "reward"? If all you can manage is £1 per week, think of something *you* would feel is a treat. If it means @ £1 per week you can only reward yourself every 2 wks because the cheapest reward you can get any pleasure from costs £2 ... then that's what you'll be working towards. Instead of buying that CD/Book ... borrow a similar book from the library and rent one of their CD's so you can tape your fav tracks from it before returning it. Those sorts of things. Or splurge your weekly £1 pocket money on some nibbles

Overall, when temptation strikes and you cannot defeat that urge to splurge, you have to go for damage limitation! Splurge only a teeny bit - one bad day doesn't make you a bad person, or a failure .... it simply makes you ... HUMAN!!

One day at a time

apprentice_tycoon · 17 April 2005 at 11:36AM

I can sympathise with everyones comments about having a splurge - a technique that works with me 50% of the time is to wait 24 hours and if I still need the thing (or is it want?) then I go ahead and buy it but more often than not 24 hours later it doesn't have the same hold on me and I can let it go.
When the 24 hour wait doesn't work is when it's a unique item like something in a charity shop so if you wait 24 hours it may have gone - you just have to ask yourself, do you really need it? do you own something similar already? can you get it cheaper elsewhere? and when you have done all of that BUY IT and enjoy it knowing that you have justified it's place in your life!

Curry_Queen · 17 April 2005 at 11:48AM

I totally agree with the 24 hour "wait and see if you still want it" method, and it's something I've been doing myself for several weeks now to curb my spending ... and it works!!!

Rather than thinking "ok I have x pounds leftover this week so what can I spend it on", I've set up a savings account to transfer it into instead, and to be honest, I'm actually getting more pleasure from seeing my savings grow bit by bit than I was from buying stuff for the sake of it!

I actually begrudge parting with any money now unless I really really have to, even on essentials LOL!

mrsmab59 · 17 April 2005 at 12:21PM

The best way I've found to stop spending money when I'm out is to only take a certain amount out with me, depending on what I'm going out for. I don't carry my credit cards in my purse any more and only take my debit card with me when it's my day to withdraw money for that week. It removes temptation from my reach

Bogof_Babe · 17 April 2005 at 12:58PM

I find the simplest thing is to only deal in cash, and only take out what I can afford to splurge. (Well okay plus an emergency tenner for unmissable bogofs etc.)

Oh and I only go into town about once every two months, then I have a list of things I have to do, and only 2 hours free parking in Sainsbury's. Deffo cuts down the impulse buying opportunities.
Actually I take a great delight nowadays in not buying something. I use a similar checklist to that posted above by someone else (sorry, forget who

) and unless it is petrol for the car or something equally critical, there is usually a way around it, or at least to delay it another few days.

(Edit - "snap" Mrsmab59!) :beer:

reverie · 17 April 2005 at 5:56PM

Until about 3 months ago every day was an avalanche day for me

I have been struggling and feeling half hearted and grumpy for ages about money saving, not wanting to, but knowing I need to. Last week I had an epiphany. I realised I had £1,000 in my savings account.. From nowhere, as if by magic! Of course, it was money that would normally have been spent on an unused gym membership, shoes, handbags, eating out and buying only Tesco finest. I was so thrilled, I can see my pot of money actually growing. As the weight watchers advert said the little changes add up

So, my way of staying on track, is being aware of exactly what I have and feeling proud of what I have achieved. It also lets you see things in context, having my hair done once in 3 months is a drop in the ocean of what I have saved, enjoy the slip up as a treat not a disaster and carry on.

Lucie_2 · 17 April 2005 at 6:54PM

You can get used to not spending money too.
Friday - went to Trafford Centre cos hubby needs a new jacket. Didn't buy ANYTHING AT ALL (not even new jacket). In the past I would have bought SOMETHING. Went to TK Maxx in the end & bought him fab designer jacket for £30 - bargain!
Saturday - Hubby at work, so I went food shopping. In the past 2 hours free town centre parking would have given me the ideal chance for a mooch round the shops, but instead I just spent £30 in Morrisons & came home.
today - Hubby at work again so I would normally have gone shopping out of sheer boredom. Instead I have done a MASSIVE pile of ironing, changed the beds, cleaned the cooker & cooked Monday & Tuesday night's dinner.
There is nothing I need & I have no urge to spend any money - it's quite simple when you get used to it.

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I stumbled, then there was an avalanche!

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